


Sanditon Before and Beyond

by sukiblue99



Category: Sanditon - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 89
Words: 83,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22528297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukiblue99/pseuds/sukiblue99
Summary: This is my first attempt at fiction and inspired by the Sanditon tv series which broke my heart. In search of my Happy Ever After I started writing my own version and after a great deal of lovely support, I am posting it here, in full.Thank you for finding me and I hope you enjoy it.
Comments: 255
Kudos: 307





	1. The Journey to Sanditon

The journey back from Weymouth was jarring and at times frightening. Mary Parker gripped her husband’s arm as he encouraged her to “hold on tight my dear”.   
Mary missed Weymouth. The town of her birth, most of her friends still resided there. Eldest of three sisters, but no brothers, she missed her siblings. Now all well married with growing young families, none had the time to spend with her. Letter writing helped but was no substitute for merry female company. She loved Sanditon too. The miles of golden sands, the beautiful cliff top walks, but she spent long days alone. The house was grand and well maintained, the children well looked after and the meals nutritious and enticing, prepared by Mrs Hodges. A slow summer of taking tea with the irascible Lady Denham lay before her. Inwardly she sighed.  
The carriage continued its precarious and speedy way home. Each bump and lurch, tipping Mary into the arms of her husband, preoccupied as usual with Sanditon. She loved him with all her heart. Dashing and tall, well to look at before worries creased his boyish features, he was obsessed with a fixation Mary knew she came second to. His infatuation with the development and promotion of Sanditon as the foremost seaside resort on the whole of the south coast. Tom was the eldest of four siblings and carried the weight of his successful father heavily. A man of great insight and talent, the Senior Mr Parker had built a thriving business before his early demise at the hands of consumption, brought on by overwork. Mary often worried that Tom too was driven to overwork.  
An awful crack sounded and the carriage swayed and tipped right over onto its side. Mary clung to Tom as the carriage came to rest on the grassy verge. They were thankfully unharmed but severely shaken.  
A small worried face appeared at the upturned carriage door.   
“Is anyone hurt?” The young girl looked very concerned, her huge brown eyes searched for the occupants of the carriage. She grasped Mary firmly around the waist and pulled her from the carriage, helping her gently to the ground before letting go.   
“My goodness, how can I thank you?” Mary was overwhelmed, quite flustered at the thought things might have been much worse. Tom jumped from the carriage rather less than elegantly, and promptly fell into a cowpat.   
“Please come to our home, it’s not far. You must rest after your ordeal.” Mary was utterly charmed by the girl, so caring and such kindness.  
Children seemed to surround them on all sides as they removed to a beautiful Tudor mansion. They were welcomed into a large homely drawing room filled with furniture and more children. Mary wondered if it was a school.   
Charlotte, Tom and Mary’s saviour, organised tea, introduced them to her Mama, and Papa, gave word to the blacksmith and carpenter to retrieve their carriage and repair it, and introduced all eleven of her siblings. A thought was formulating in Mary’s head. Charlotte would make the perfect summer season companion. What more fun and charming a companion could she have than Charlotte, almost equal to having one of her very own sisters with her.   
The carriage took two days to mend, and Mary enjoyed cooking with Mrs Heywood, walking with Charlotte and playing with the little Heywoods. There was always much going on and constant laughter. A plan started to form.   
There was no point in discussing things with Tom, he was often distracted, replying completely irrelevantly to her questions.  
“More soup my dear?”  
“A fine idea, I will get on to it in the morning.”  
But to put an idea into his head, which he could claim as his own, would ensure its success.   
“Charlotte is such lovely young lady, I wonder if her parents would like her to come out?” Tom was not listening, but pouring over his plans as usual.   
“I wonder if she dances?” Mary mused, almost to herself, but in earshot of Tom.  
Over their last meal with the Heywoods Tom regaling the delights of Sanditon as usual, suddenly enquired if Mr Heywood would like Charlotte presented during the Season. Mary smiled to herself. Her plan was underway.   
“I have six daughters Sir, however I am in no rush to lose any of them.” He was a little stern.   
Charlotte eagerly and impatiently begged to be allowed and her parents eventually acquiesced.   
There was great activity as Charlotte’s things were prepared, her talented sister Alison tasked with finishing her clothes with finery befitting town life.  
At last they were on their way, the carriage with a new wheel, now securely repaired, the horses well rested and Mary feeling extremely pleased to have Charlotte’s company.   
Days passed happily, with Charlotte playing with the Parker children, listening avidly to all of Tom’s plans and walking the town and cliffs with Mary.   
Mary already adored her and it came to her mind that someone else in the Parker family would too.


	2. Young Sidney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This just gives us a bit of background to the complex nature of Mr Sidney Parker

It became apparent around the age of six, that Sidney was an extremely clever child. Bored by his lessons at home and impossible for his governess to control, it was decided he was best educated away from home.   
At school Sidney was a popular child but disruptive, quick to temper and had the dubious pleasure of being the most frequently caned. After a few terms it was discovered that Sidney’s brother Tom had turned rather peculiar, Sidney’s father was ill and Sidney’s mother not coping well. And so began the teasing. Here he learned his first life lesson. Stand up for yourself and fight.  
He relied on his closest friends. Ptolemy Babbington, known as Babbers, and Francis Crowe, just known as Crowe. Ptolemy, rather, Babbers was a slightly overweight child and son of Lord Babbington who owned a very large portion of North Yorkshire. This was his family’s Alma Mater, so there was never any question of attending another school.   
Crowe was the son of well known socialites and bon viveurs, Sir and Lady Crowe of Knightsbridge. They had no time for their son, so he was despatched to school, and very grateful for it. Under the school’s care he grew too much, too fast and his health subsequently suffered. Tall, gangly and skinny, next to Babbers, they made a comical sight. Sidney made up the triumvirate.  
Sidney and his friends attracted the unwanted attention from the bored, incarcerated, delinquent corps, sons of gentry so elevated, life held no worry for them. Sidney learned very quickly how to use his fists to great effect. His skills ensured he and his friends enjoyed a peaceful time at school, ignored by the more aggressive boys, since Sidney could, when pushed, out aggress any one of them. Quick to anger and slow to calm, most boys thought it wasn’t worth the sport to bother him, or his friends.   
Sidney found school generally boring, but the delights of the nearby town more enticing. Tall and mature for his age, he was able to enter gambling dens and taverns at will without raising suspicion. With the a fine mathematical brain Sidney did very well at the tables, and was well on his way to amassing a tidy sum. It was about this time that Sidney learned his power, and that a well use smile, could get him almost anything, when practised on a female. Extra food at dinner, a smile to the servers ensured it. Help for grazed knuckles from the sister, a smile allowed Sidney to escape punishment. His smile was almost as good a weapon as his fists.   
At seventeen Sidney enjoyed his first London season, a riot of race meetings, balls, garden parties and shoots.   
It was at a garden party that Sidney met Eliza Deschamps. She was quite extraordinary. With bright blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and a demeanour Sidney was quite unused to. She was generally described as frosty. She did not giggle, or simper, or blush. She merely regarded him quite coldly and continued her conversation with her companions. Sidney’s smile always so reliable, did not work. Little was known of Eliza. She had been educated in France and returned to London to come out. Less was known of her parents, but her manner of dress indicated wealth.   
It took several encounters for Sidney to gain the attention of Miss Descamps. She eventually gave in to his many entreaties to take a turn with him, at Lord Babbington’s summer garden party. Sidney was smitten. It was doubted the same could be said for the icy Miss Descamps.   
Eliza was in the habit of arriving late. After all other guests had arrived, she would appear. Perfectly turned out, with of course the largest audience to greet her. Sidney would always be the last to be acknowledged. He suffered badly. Being ignored as Miss Descamps fluttered about the room making pleasantries with everyone but him. The more she ignored him, the more he loved her, or thought he did. It made his boyish infatuation grow stronger and more fierce. She was clever and knew the chase made her more desirous.   
It was this that brought Sidney to learn of the soporific effect of rum. Unable to fathom the workings of a lady’s mind and feeling forsaken, he drew comfort from the inside of a bottle. It was under the numbing effect of a few bottles of rum that Sidney learned Eliza, had thrown him over for an elderly and very wealthy gentleman. Rather than sober up and face the situation, Sidney ensured he was never so far from a bottle as to have to feel anything at all.   
To avoid the grand wedding of the year of Miss Eliza Descamps to Mr Edward Campion of Peckham, his brother Tom felt an extended trip was in order. Sidney’s behaviour was again ungovernable and as before, Sidney was shipped off. He had chosen the destination of Antigua because of the fine production of rum from the region. Once there he set about learning trade, employing men, producing and eventually exporting the finest rum he could make. His early endeavours brought him to the attention of a very wealthy landowner by the name of Colonel George Lambe. A man that Sidney would come to think of as his second father, after the loss of his own dear pater at the tender age of 12.   
Colonel Lambe grew sugar cane, ably helped by workers from Africa. He was a most unusual man in that, not only did he pay his workers, with sugar and money, he also arranged for their education and enabled them to build homes for themselves on his land. His workers arrived as slaves, but left his employment as free men able to read.  
Sometime after arriving in Antigua, Sidney took a great fever and weakness overcame him. His lodgings were unsuitable for the nursing of someone so ill, so Mr Lambe moved Sidney into his own home, and employed a nurse to attend to him day and night.  
It took several months for the Typhoid fever to abate and several more for Sidney to regain his strength. During his convalesce and without the crutch of a bottle of rum, Sidney set to ordering his thoughts and made plans for his life. Col. Lambe had maintained his rum distillery during his illness, situated as it was on his sugar plantation. Sidney afforded his workers the same privileges as he had learned from Col. Lambe, and they repaid him by producing a superior rum much sought after around the world.   
Sidney contented himself with making money and living well. Believing his heart broken by Eliza he set himself to ensure no woman ever had power over him again. He would not require a wife, since the pain that could bring, was not worth the prize. He cauterised his heart of feeling and never again thought highly of any woman he was to meet. With the exception of lovely Diana and of course Tom’s wonderful wife Mary.   
Col. Lambe, saw in Sidney the son he never came to have. He extended his invitation to Sidney, who remained in his home until his sad death, some three years later. He left a daughter, Georgiana, in the care of Sidney until her coming of age. Sidney oversaw the managing of his estate and the careful trusteeship of her inheritance. He then travelled back home, bring Georgiana with him.


	3. Sidney Returns to Sanditon

Rounding the hill, clattering along the cliff tops far too fast in his gig, Sidney enjoyed his favourite route home to Sanditon. Up ahead he noticed Mary walking with a new companion. Inwardly Sidney groaned. Mary had a habit of seeking out eligible young ladies to introduce to him. Never wishing to hurt his dear sister in laws feelings he was alway polite but dismissive in these encounters. He slowed the horses and jumped from the gig, focussing all his attention on Mary.  
“Mary, well met”. He sneaked a sideways glance at the stranger and felt a sudden lurch in the pit of his stomach. His glance was met by a steady inquisitive stare from huge brown eyes.   
“New maid?” The words tumbled from his mouth without thought, but as he heard them he felt quite pleased with himself. Not too insulting but enough to maintain his air of indifference.  
Mary admonished him and introduced the stranger.   
“Sidney! This is Miss H....... our summer guest at Trafalgar House.”  
Her words swirled in the breeze and were lost to him. All he could hear was his pulse in his ears. From the corner of his eye he appraised the young girl with captivating brown eyes.  
“Miss err?” He leaned in towards her, taking her in, a light scent of jasmine and bergamot reached him, making his senses swim.  
She returned his stare with a cool look, was there even a hint of disdain?  
“Miss Heyward” she stated, somewhat slowly, as if she took him for a fool.  
“Heyward” he repeated, trying to commit it to memory, although he wasn’t altogether certain why.  
Suddenly Sidney felt rather like Rev Hankin, always flummoxed and defuddled around the company of young ladies. There was a low uneasy stirring he’d not felt for many years. He pulled himself up to his full height, drew a deep breath of cool air and once more focussed fully on Mary. Miss H.. H..Hartford (?) continued her gaze.   
Sidney explained he would stay at the Crowne with friends, looked forward to the ball and bade them farewell in what he thought was a cheery but perfunctory way.  
As he rode into town, the feeling of disquiet grew. He was a self assured man, confident in his interactions with women and used to their reactions to him. Ladies would be presented, always giggling, simpering, much fluttering of eyelashes, inanely commenting on his charms, catching his eye coquettishly and pulling at stray curls to draw attention to fine pale necks. None of this behaviour was displayed by the calm Miss H... drat it, what was her name?


	4. Charlotte meets Mr Sidney Parker

The small gig rounded the cliff tops and Mary’s excited voice called out to Sidney. At last a chance to meet the elusive Mr Parker. Charlotte had looked forward to this meeting, intrigued by a man who was here, there and everywhere, a man of affairs and business.   
A tall, elegant gentleman jumped down from his carriage, his long legs carrying him towards them in quick strides. Charlotte had never set eyes on a man such as this. Dress completely in black save for his white shirt and cravat, his frock coat billowed around him. His face was pure perfection. Dark hair. A strong jaw, fine high cheekbones, a strong noble nose. Dark eyebrows framing even darker brooding eyes and pink lips curled into an almost smile.   
Charlotte could not avert her gaze from the most beautiful face she had ever see. He spoke and Charlotte felt a low blow to her stomach just like the kick from her shotgun. A strange whisper in her ear said “It’s him, husband”.   
“New maid?” He glanced momentarily into Charlotte’s eyes. Did he mean her? He took her for a maid? He leaned towards her and seemed to ask a question “Miss errrr?”   
Charlotte tried to gather her thoughts, slowly she answered “Heywood.” Her own name sounding strange to her, her voice sounding uncertain. He took her for a maid?   
He looked to Mary and continued speaking charmingly, bade farewell with a quick nod and another glance. Charlotte once more fell into his almost black eyes.   
His strong athletic legs swung him into his gig and he confidently drove his horses on. Charlotte unable to move, gazed after him, not comprehending at all what had just happened to her.   
Mary spoke of his good heart, his broken romance, his thoughtlessness towards women.   
As their cliff walk continued, Charlotte ordered her confused thoughts. “It’s him, husband” the whispered words hung in the air. Charlotte decided it was the sea breeze blowing through her straw bonnet, and not words at all that she had heard. Sidney Parker was elegant indeed, with the face of an angel. He was older, experienced and worldly. He would not be interested in Charlotte, and indeed a man such as that was not something Charlotte wanted. She was clear on the type of man that would take her to be his wife. He would be kind, attentive, thoughtful. He would have ambition and a skilled profession, with a practicality and artistry her father showed when he built or made things for his children. He would not be tainted by the loss of love, since his heart may never recover, and would not be fully free to love again. Charlotte wanted a love to surpass all others, a love of breathtaking intensity, that she’d often read about. A heartbroken man would always be just half the man he had once been. Yet Sidney Parker was ...... so much more than any man she’d ever seen. No! Charlotte shook her head, trying to remove the imagine of the handsome but dismissive man from her mind. Sidney Parker would never be interested in a girl from a small village, who read books, and went out shooting rabbits for dinner, whose father was a farmer. With that she knew any attachment was futile and she would guard her thoughts of him. Much better to find a man of equal compatibility, with clear hopes for the future and no dark secrets in his past. Charlotte, she told herself sternly, he took you for a maid.


	5. The Ball

Charlotte was more excited than she had ever been. Her first real ball. She loved to dance, and was quite accomplished. The monthly Young Farmers Dances stood her in good stead, although they were quite different affairs. The girls danced together, practising the new dance steps fashionable in London society, while the boys stood in corners drinking cider. Tonight would be different. She would partner anyone that asked and looked forward to seeing fashionable ladies finely attired and handsome gentlemen graciously bowing and leading the dance. Handsome. There it was. Her mind spun back to that face again. Well, no matter, Charlotte felt sure Mr Sidney Parker would give her a wide berth this evening.   
Mary had left for the Assembly Rooms, as her maid put the finishing touches to Charlotte’s hair. She felt so thrilled to lace up her new blue dancing shoes. As she entered it felt somewhat like entering a dream. The chandeliers sparkled laden with candles. The finery was breathtaking. Charlotte spotted Tom, confidently addressing the crowd, urging them to dance. How alive and happy he looked, after the worries she’d seen furrow his brow over the breakfast table. It pleased her to see him unburdened of his usual contemplations.   
Standing at the dance floor edge, Charlotte was joined by Miss Denham and Clara. Acknowledging them both with a smile, she felt the thrill of the evening building in her veins. Just at that very moment Tom directed some gentlemen towards them. Charlotte’s breath caught in her chest, making her bodice feel a little tight. She glanced quickly to Clara for courage. Clara stood inscrutable beside her offering no comfort at all. The cause of her nervous gasp was again Mr Sidney Parker advancing towards her, trailing two gentlemen in his wake. Charlotte breathed. Sidney Parker would not select her to dance in this company. Introductions were made, and Lord (the first Lord, Charlotte had ever met) Babbington enquired whether the ladies were minded to dance. Looking to her companions, neither of whom seemed to wish to answer, Charlotte spoke up her desire to dance. Lord Babbington took a step forward holding Charlotte’s gaze, but at the very last moment veered towards Miss Esther and held out his hand. Retaining her expression of someone who had smelled rancid cream, Esther allowed herself to be lead away. A momentary stab of disappointment hit Charlotte, much like a paper cut, but she discarded the thought and looked towards Mr Crowe. Mr Crowe’s gaze hadn’t faltered from Clara and as he advanced to take her hand, Charlotte realised that left her alone with Mr Sidney Parker. Her hands felt clammy in her gloves and she bit her lip. He’d turned his back to her while his friends had jollied the ladies into dancing. Charlotte dearly wished he would now stalk off in the direction of some sophisticated lady quite some distance away from Charlotte herself.   
He didn’t. He turned towards her, still standing at a little distance, his eyes impenetrably dark, seemed to flick over her by way of appraisal. As if she were an exhibit, but of which kind she had no idea. He bowed and held out his hand, which Charlotte took as he placed his other arm around her waist. She could feel the heat from his hand in the small of her back. He moved, not smoothly but falteringly and not quite in time with the music, while looking into the distance somewhere over her shoulder. Charlotte felt like a rag doll being tossed about rather than danced with. She attempted to maintain a decorous distance between their bodies but found her attempts voided by the clumsy way he would brush against her. Uncomfortable with the silence as they danced she thought it wise to politely compliment him on his support of Tom. He spoke of his friends and their connections to the Prince Regent, so Charlotte quickly remarked how marvellous such as association would be. He seemed genuinely concerned for the enhancement of Sanditon’s reputation and Charlotte felt embolden to ask him of his feelings. Its was easy speaking to someone who while dancing quite closely, seemed to think Charlotte was several feet away in the distance. She’d taken the opportunity to evaluate his features, looking into his face while his eyes remained fixed away from her. There was a sadness to his eyes, the scar of his broken heart she thought, and a tense set to his jaw. His gaze suddenly snapped back to her.   
“For my brother I do care, yes”. His answer was terse. He stared at her, his face somewhat menacing when so close. The music stopped. Tom introduced new guests and Mr Parker excused himself with a curt bow and strode away. Charlotte felt somewhat relieved.


	6. Sidney attends the Ball

Sidney strode into the Assembly Rooms followed by Babbers and Crowe. They had never been able to match his stride or pace. Babbers being shorter legged and Crowe, because remaining upright and walking briskly disagreed with his constitution.   
Glancing to his left he spotted her. She shone as if a thousand candles lit her, standing between the sour faced Miss Denham and the worldly Miss Brereton. Tom, flushed with excitement greeted Sidney and his friends, directing them toward the ladies. Sidney felt duty bound to make introductions.   
“Let me introduce Lord Babbington and Mr Crowe. Miss Denham, Miss Heywood, Miss Brereton”.  
As he spoke her name he noticed a dipped intimacy in his voice, a quieter tone as if he wanted to keep her name to himself. He’d also fractionally bent towards her as he spoke and realising this he stiffened his frame, took a step away and regarded the room about him, diverting his attention to the far opposite wall.  
Babbers and Crowe spoke charmingly, and Sidney fully expected Babbers to request the arm of Miss Heywood as he stepped forward purposely. But to his surprise he offered his arm to the icy Miss Denham. Crowe meantime crossed towards Miss Brereton and Sidney’s favoured dance partner was whisked away. He held no affection for Miss B. She had a knowing look and a cruel fixed mouth, but he was used to her sort and dancing with her would be without sense or feeling.   
Sidney stared about him, hoping to catch Tom’s eye. He had a habit of popping up when least expected and needing the attention of Sidney to press home a point of business to a new visitor. No such luck this time. He contemplated striding away, but realised this would look more rude than he felt necessary. A small sigh escaped him. Miss Heywood it was then. His eyes took her in, from top to toe. She was a pleasing sight indeed. He bowed, moved forward, a little too close and took her in hold. He knew precisely the effect his presence had. He’d seen it many times before. The quickend pulse in the neck, the high nervous breathing that resulted to a very pleasant heaving in the bosom. Momentarily he was transfixed. Miss Heywood must have been very nervous indeed. Unsure of how long he had stared at her décolletage and entirely unaware of the music he was moving to, he tore his eyes away and settled on viewing the room’s edge with studied indifference. Only the gentle bumping of her soft frame against his chest reminded him who it was he was dancing with. The walls of the Assembly rooms took on a renewed fascination. She spoke. Her clear warm tones took his attention. There was no simpering, no giggle. “And you care about such things?” He peered into her face, vexed by her question. Care? Did she not know to speak only of frivolities? Minded to answer in such a way as to curtail the conversation quickly he hardened his tone. “For the sake of my brother I do.” There, an adequate reply, taking no responsibility for “caring.” The music stopped and rather reluctantly his hand left her small waist. Tom announce the arrival of Miss Lambe.


	7. The Balcony

Charlotte’s first ball had been a contrary event. The lights and music enthralled her. The dresses and dancing were breathtaking. A dance with Sir Edward, the elegant but rather too spirited gentleman, had been unsettling and a conversation with Clara had been confusing if not a little alarming.  
Charlotte decided to take in a view from the balconies upstairs, so she could accurately describe the goings on to Alison in her next letter. Stepping out she saw Mr Sidney Parker. Their dance had been amiable and not wholly unpleasant, so Charlotte felt back to her usual ease. Her mind however was unpicking the conversations of the evening.  
“Penny for your thoughts Miss Heywood?”  
Charlotte tried to explain her inner confusion, people not being what they seemed.  
“And what have you observed about me upon our small acquaintance.”  
Charlotte drew breath. Well if she told the truth, she’d say he was the most beautiful man she’d ever set eyes on, with the ability to make her feel unsettled in a way she had never experienced before. Charlotte decided against those words and chose instead “I think you must be the sensible brother.” She felt she had chosen correctly when his face broke into a most wonderful warm smile, and a chuckle emanated from his throat. He repeated her words. Confident she had now made a friend of Mr Sidney, she continued “from what I have seen, and I may be wrong, but Mr Arthur seems over enthusiastic and ......

Mr Parker turned his full attention to her. His frame seemed larger than before and now almost menacing. His tone was cold and biting. His eyes blacker than she’d noticed and his features set in a thunderous expression which was entirely frightening. She had never heard a gentleman raise his voice before. And she never expected to be the cause or the receiver of such behaviour. She stammered her apology aware that her voice was breaking and her eyes were filling with tears. She begged her body not to let her down now. Remain calm, show no fear, keep your back straight and look him in the eyes.  
His words cut her as he spat them out. Contempt in every syllable. Mocking and vicious he seemed to warm to his subject. His words swam around her, Charlotte could no longer take them in. She heard “Embroidery” and “piano” but could think only about what she’d said to inspire this tirade of hatred. With a final sarcastic flourish he was gone.  
Charlotte steadied herself against the balcony rail, hot tears spilled from her eyes, her chin quivered as she struggled to compose herself lest she should be discovered shaking and distressed.  
Her first impression of Sidney Parker had been that he would dismiss her and she in turn him. Now Charlotte knew she would need to give Mr Parker as wide a berth as possible. 

Sidney escapes to the Balcony. 

After what felt like a interminable time spent dancing sets with a collection of indistinguishable females, their faces all interchangeable, Sidney concluded he’d been seen enough and he could hide somewhere quiet without being missed.  
He slouched over the balcony rail and surveilled the scene below. Babbers was still chasing around the dance floor with Esther. Crowe had taken to drinking and card playing. Mary and Tom happily danced together in their own world oblivious to anything around them. Times like these he felt a stab of jealousy for the relationship Tom had with Mary. Utterly loyal, dependable, always kind, loving and sweet, Mary was a rare woman and Tom was a very lucky man. Sidney scanned the floor for that girl. The ready smile, the bright inquisitive eyes, the dark brown curls, the bosom. Something stirred deep in his bowels. An unfamiliar feeling he’d not felt for many years. He had not laid with a woman for a long time. The bracing shock of the sea took care of those senses. No, this was different, this was...... Eliza. The stirring reminded him how Eliza would make him feel. When he was but a child of 17. He’d promised himself he would never be in the power of a woman again, and certainly this slip of a girl was not going to change his mind. Winsome, pretty, delicate with steel in her eyes, she might be, but he was not about to change a decision that had kept his heart safely cauterised for so many years. But where was she?  
A moment later his question was answered by a shy ‘excuse me’, as she stepped on to his balcony. He felt a measure of annoyance she interrupted his peace, but also relief she was not on the dance floor in the arms of a reprobate. She’d used the word care. Perhaps that was what he felt, care that she was safe, with him. She seemed the same age as his ward, who he knew he was meant to care for, but who illicited quite a different emotion from him. As he studied her, he saw in her face a troubled expression and couldn’t help but ask what was on her mind. She spoke of people not being what they seemed and how could you know of their true intentions. Truly she seem incapable of small talk and he felt exasperation, with himself for starting the conversation in the first place. A seed of irritation sprouted in him and he decided to uncover her true self, the simpering girly vacuous self he knew she was hiding. With a modicum of the Sidney charm, he turned towards her, fixed her with a smile, place his hand on his hip, and asked  
“So what have you discerned about me in our short acquaintance?”  
Miss Heywood smiled, did her eyelashes flutter? Sidney felt vindicated, she was precisely and exactly the same as all the rest. She’d fallen for his trap.  
“I think you are the sensible brother.” Sidney chortled. He had never been called sensible. He encouraged her to go on, feeling quite smug knowing that he hadn’t been misled by this little Miss. Awaiting the simpering and giggling as he congratulated himself, barely listening to her, and distractedly regarding her bosom, he intermittently heard her words  
Arthur ..... contrary, over lethargic .......Tom..... neglects his family.....”  
Fury erupted in his heart. How dare this slip of a girl take it upon herself to pass judgement on his family. To surmise, even accurately, the personality traits of those dear to him. He’d expected vacant observations on ladies dresses, earnest entreaties on outmoded hairstyles, perhaps even wicked asides pointing out clumsy dance steps, not the accurate depiction of his innermost thoughts on his family. His anger was boundless, she had tricked him. In truth he was also embarrassed. His inner mind had been violated as she spoke those words, his emotions had been awakened and his anger was for a large part at himself. But he turned on her. Sarcasm spilled from him, he belittled and crushed her. He would evacuate her from his mind once and for all. Sidney’s armour would not be pierced, ever again. He observed her face flush pink and her eyes fill bright with tears, but nothing could stop him. With a final “what could I possibly expect from you” Sidney left the balcony, fury burning in his throat, matched by a disgust and hatred he could not attribute to Miss Heywood.


	8. Leaving the Balcony

Furious, Sidney stormed from the balcony and decided to look for Crowe. His throat burned with anger, and shame. He wasn’t sure which was worst.   
He found Crowe, semi vertical, caressing a large bottle of rum.   
“Parkha.” He shouted more loudly than was necessary to attract Sidney’s attention.   
Rum. Probably the last thing he wanted but needs must. He poured himself a large glass and knocked it straight back. The heat added to the pain in his throat. He groaned. How could he? How could he have behaved so shockingly. He was a gentlemen. Nothing about his behaviour tonight had been that of a gentleman. He’d left a lady distressed and crying. If he’d been seen leaving, and she was found in a distressed state, both their reputations would be ruined. Not that he cared what people thought of him, but to ruin a lady’s reputation because he hadn’t controlled his temper made him feel disgusted. He might well have ruined her, without even touching her.   
He tried to tell himself he had justification for his tirade. But he’d asked for her thoughts. He’d encouraged her. Her words hadn’t been unkind. They were truthful and insightful. He felt sick.  
How often had he thought Arthur too sloth-like, and Tom too irresponsible.   
She’d reminded him of Eliza somehow, and that was where the anger had come. Well no, she wasn’t in the slightest similar to Eliza, the cool blonde of his youth. But the lurch in his stomach when he first saw her, the need to protect, the desire to touch her, all reminded him of feelings he’d long ago locked away.   
Sidney knew all to well fear begets anger, and he’d felt fearful for his heart when he was close to her. There was something, a look, her voice, her scent, he wasn’t sure, but there was something that disquieted him when he was near her. He had no desire to feel disquieted by her again.  
Why had he been concerned for her at the ball and felt relief at seeing her by his side? She had been far safer whirling around the dance floor with Sir Edward, than she had been with him and his treatment of her.   
He needed more rum. And whisky. Crowe was happy to oblige. Drinking alone was adequate. Drinking with an old friend was to be positively celebrated. The wine and whisky flowed. Sidney had to clear this mind. He felt likely to explode. If he confided in Crowe it was quite possible his old friend would remember nothing by the morning. He took that chance.   
“You fool.” Was the only sense Sidney got out of Crowe. It wasn’t enough to make him feel less dissolute.   
He’d been a brute to a young lady who had felt comfortable enough to share her thoughts with him. He had seen fit to ridicule her, reduce her to tears, undermine her and mock her. The embarrassment and disgust he felt seemed to choke him.


	9. The Day after the Ball

Charlotte rose early. She’d slept badly and felt quite miserable. Thoughts of Mr Sidney Parker has disturbed her dreams. What had started as such a promising night, of dancing and fun had ended in a way she could never have predicted. She scolded herself. Sanditon was not the place to air her thoughts without caution. At home she knew she was free to express herself, encouraged to do so, as were all her siblings. But in Sanditon where strangers mixed freely, that luxury could not be afforded. There were too many contradictory personalities whom she couldn’t make out. They would have the same difficulty making her out and thus misunderstood her sentiments. She would learn to keep her own counsel and her opinions to herself in future.   
There was something to be done however. She had to apologise to Mr Sidney Parker. Although mortified by how he’d spoken to her, she felt he’d misunderstood and wanted to put things right. She had such high regard for Tom and Mary and worried Sidney would repeat her indiscretions to them and they would think badly of her.   
A heartfelt, sincere apology would surely put things right. She trembled as she recalled his words, or at least some of them. She found she could hardly remember what he’d said but only the way he’d said them. She shuddered.   
“What do you know? Nothing; it would seem yet you see fit to pass judgement.”  
Judgement? Charlotte pondered. I was expressing concern and admiration. For Tom, for working too hard, for Mary that she felt she may loose her husband to the town, for his family and the time he spent away from them, chasing his very inspiring ambitions. That was it. She had been misunderstood. He would be able to see that and comprehend she’d had the best of intentions. Galvanised by her refound confidence, she took a walk with Tom to see the terrace.

Charlotte had such great affection for Tom. He encouraged her up to the top of the scaffolding and they were afforded the most glorious view of the town, the new building works, and beyond, the sparking sea. He never expected her to remain indoors, embroidering or playing the piano, which was just as well since, while capable, neither excited her. Nor did he mind her walking alone, to the sea, over the cliffs or through town. In fact he positively encouraged her to take in Sanditon’s delights.   
Atop the scaffold, Tom seemed a new man, revivified with his vision appearing before him. It made Charlotte smile to see him happy. He was speaking to Mr Stringer, his trusted foreman. Charlotte was intrigued. Mr Stringer was tall and strong, with an easy open manner. He’d smiled warmly as she’d climbed the scaffold. Not shocked to see a lady on a ladder. His complexion was of warm honey, from his outdoor occupation and his hair a deeper honey shade. He was altogether a very pleasing sight. He spoke knowledgeably about architecture and plans, explaining to Mr Tom what works were underway and what would be completed next. Charlotte felt very drawn to Mr Stringer. He seemed familiar, like the farmers’ sons from home. She found when she expressed her opinion to him, he was charmingly supportive and seemed impressed by her ideas. Mr Sidney Parker sharply pierced her mind, and she felt a wave of gratitude for Mr Stringer and his warm sincere encouragement.   
“There’s my brother.” Tom had spotted Sidney and descended the scaffold quickly to join him. Charlotte smiled at Mr Stringer. She felt reluctant to descend the ladder and would have preferred to stay where she was, with the lovely Mr Stringer beaming at her and explaining how roof lines draw the eye towards the sea. How odd to feel safer high above ground rather than with her feet firmly planted on soil. The difference was all due to the proximity of Mr Sidney Parker.   
Mr Stringer took her hand, firmly in his and helped her down the ladder. Charlotte enjoyed the feeling of his strength steadying her.   
Before leaving Willingden, Alison and Charlotte had had a midnight conversation on the distinct possibility of Charlotte finding a suitor and husband during her Sanditon adventure. Alison has been all for it. Charlotte less so, but decided if it was to happen, he would be someone she could love and would love her, intelligent, kind, strong and well thought of. Mr Stringer was well thought of. The workers sought his help and listened to his instructions. He was certainly kind, and strong. And very well to look at.   
Tom’s conversation with his brother seemed to come to an abrupt end. Charlotte knew she needed to apologise to Mr Parker and now was her opportunity. She gulped a deep breath, steeled herself and rushed to his side as he marched away from the terrace. Almost running alongside to keep up with him, Charlotte asked for a moment of his time. He stopped and glowered at her. She found it easier to fix her attention on his tightly tied cravat, not his face, as she addressed him and started her heartfelt and a little grovelling apology.   
“I hope you do not think too badly of me.” Charlotte breathed. Her words of remorse had tumbled out, momentary relief that her apology had fallen on sympathetic ears were shattered as she looked into his face to see the same aggressive sneer she’d seen the evening before. This time he was less angry but more vindictive, more personal.  
“Think of you? I don’t think of you at all. I do not care what you think or how you feel. Have I made myself clear?”  
Charlotte felt an anger well inside her that she’d never felt before. She’d fully expected her honest apology and admission she’d been wrong to be accepted. She’d expected to be treated with good manners and fairness, as she had treated him. She gritted her teeth, fingers balled into tight fists. Nothing she’d said today warranted being spoken to like, like, this. Charlotte couldn’t imagine anyone ever being deserving of such vitriol.   
So he didn’t think of her. Good. She neither thought of him. But if he did not, why express the fact in such hurtful terms, purely to hurt her feelings. If he did not care how she felt why bother to be so rude and ungentlemanly, to distress her. She would not be spoken to like this.   
“Only if you don’t care, I wonder that you take the trouble to be quite so offensive and hurtful.”  
With that, she turned away from this infuriating man and marched home, head high, shoulders back, furious she had once again given him the opportunity to be uncivil.


	10. The Day after the Night Before

Far too much had been drunk. Far too much had been said. Sidney woke with the headache he felt he deserved. A thunderous pain over his whole skull, like rocks had be piled on him in his sleep.   
Crowe had seen him to bed and fallen asleep on the chaise in his room, before slithering to the floor, where Sidney found him still fast asleep.   
Memories of the night filled him. Embarrassment was still the overriding feeling but also the motivation to put her out of his mind. Miss Heywood had to be exorcised. Through the fog of too much wine, rum and whisky, Sidney had made his decision. He did not care what she thought. He did not care what she felt. He would not allow her to occupy his thoughts at all. He would spend no time thinking of her whatsoever! Sidney was successful, rich, a batchelor who enjoyed his life of single freedom, unfettered by romantic attachment. That was what he enjoyed and that is how things would stay. He would avoid any further encounters with Miss Heywood. 

His first act was to consume some devilled kidneys to settle his stomach, secondly he packed his things. Meeting Babbers and Crowe, Sidney persuaded them it was time for a change of scene.   
They strode out of the hotel, towards the coach stop, passing the terrace building site where Tom called out.   
Sidney looked up to the scaffold to be greeted with the sight of Miss Heywood. Again! Thank goodness he would soon be away from Sanditon and free of her.   
Tom hijacked him, insisting he stay in Sanditon longer. Babbers caught wind of the conversation and readily agreed. He’d rather wanted to stay for the opportunity to come across Miss Denham again. Crowe could not feel his tongue, so felt ill equipped to have an opinion.   
Sidney meanwhile had been watching Miss Heywood. She was obviously enjoying her conversation with young Stringer up on the scaffold. He was standing close to her, almost touching, as he pointed to buildings and showed her his plans. She in turn was smiling, and didn’t seem to mind the diminishing distance between them. Stringer took her hand, and a vice like grip held Sidney’s stomach. He tried blaming the kidneys but in truth he knew all to well what that feeling was. He repeated his mantra. I do not think of her. I do not care what she thinks. I do not care what she feels. He looked away, to blot the image from his mind, but a thunderous jealous anger pulsed through his aching head.  
Tom implored him to stay and Babbers added his wishes too. Sidney was cornered and angry. He strode back towards the hotel to change the arrangements, furious that his plan to leave had been thwarted.  
Suddenly running along side, there she was, the ubiquitous Miss Heywood, asking to speak to him. Running! It was almost farcical, the lengths she would go to disconcert him.   
He looked down and considered carefully. The town was busy, Tom was close, whatever she had to say to him he would bear with equanimity, his mantra still fresh in his mind but his rage, or her, was making it difficult to concentrate.   
“I hope you do not think too badly of me.” Words had tumbled breathlessly from her, her lips pink and soft, her brown curls blowing across her face in the breeze, and the scent he found so captivating reached him again.   
What had he heard? Think too badly of you? Something inside him snapped. His pounding head, his inability to lead his own life because of Tom and now this! He heard himself say those words.  
“I don’t think of you at all. I do not care what you think or how you feel. Have I made myself clear?”  
This time, surely this time, she would understand. He was to be left alone.  
Her beautiful face hardened, her eyes narrowed and she glared at him, a fire in her eyes that almost made him step back.  
“Only if you don’t care I wonder you take the trouble to be quite so offensive and hurtful.”  
Her words stung. Did she know? Could she possibly understand he was troubled by her. The walls he had erected around his heart were as nothing to her. She scaled them, dissolved them, broken them down with every gesture, movement, word. He deliberately spoke those harsh words to rebuke her, frighten her into leaving him alone. And she knew. Not only did she know but she was quite immune. No woman had ever dared answer him back in such a fashion. Sidney was at a loss, a ship adrift on a stormy sea. Perhaps it was time to change.


	11. In the Tavern

After another night of carousing and revelry, too much wine and whisky. Sidney had managed to numb his troubled heart. He was left with a sickness in his stomach, and a continuing ache in his head.  
“If you don’t care, I wonder that you take the trouble to be quite so hurtful.” Her words had remained with him, and worked their magic. If she was to be nothing to him, he was not required to be unpleasant to her. In contrast, he would be charming to prove she held no sway with him.  
Crowe regarded him with a sharp eye. His poor old friend struggling with his tightly locked heart, slowly being prised open by a nubile young thing. Sidney had no defence. Crowe chuckled, then grew somber. If Sidney’s heart were to be broken once again, it could well finish him off.  
Babbington was in a fine mood. One more day in Sanditon. One more chance to charm Miss Denham. The arrival of the Pineapple Luncheon invitation had further improved things. He was positively grinning.  
Sidney rose with purpose. The back room of the Tavern was hosting a boxing match. Sidney was to fight. Boxing had been his outlet in his youth. The emotions that threatened to overwhelm him subsided when he got a good beating or delivered one.  
His opponent was stocky, strong with a stinging punch. Sidney was taller, with quicker feet and a longer reach. With each blow he landed Sidney felt his mood rise. The sharp pains from the blows he endured exorcised his introverted disposition. After several rounds of intense sport, the opponents shook hands, exhausted, aching, but agreeably satiated.  
After a brief interruption, dealing with his ward, Sidney was back in town, hiring two racing cabriolets. He was in fine form. With a not inconsequential wager between the friends, they set off at pace across the cliffs.  
Arriving at Denham House in high spirits, the chase in a fresh Sanditon breeze had further invigorated Sidney. His superior carriage skills had ensured he’d won the race, and the wager. As he took his seat at luncheon he was not surprised to find the omnipresent Miss Heywood placed next to him. In fact he was rather pleased. He had the opportunity to demonstrate his control, over his temper and his heart. She would not unsettle him today. He decided decorum was in order.  
With what he considered to be a disarming smile, he asked her opinion of the assembled company.  
“As you have no interest in my opinion I shan’t trouble you with it Mr Parker.” She scowled so prettily. Sidney suppressed a laugh, and made another attempt. “I’m certain you have an opinion. Come, share it with me.” He leant closer conspiratorially, turning his face fully toward her.  
She stared straight into his eyes, her beautiful face screwed into an attractive grimace, her saucer eyes narrowed, her perfect nose wrinkled.  
“Not for the world. I’ve endured two tongue lashings from you and I won’t court a third, Save your unpleasantness for someone else, or why not try to be civil.”  
Hmmm, how true her words were. How beautiful her face. He’d long decided his previous uncouth behaviour was not to be repeated. He was endeavouring to be civil.  
“But not with me, prey.” She turned her back to him and engaged Crowe in a lively conversation on the merits of Sanditon.  
It’s felt like a slap. Sidney had been civil, polite with a modicum of charm. He felt in some small way absolved of the embarrassment he’d felt at his appalling behaviour prior. She had every right to speak up, more so. He deserved whatever she gave and he would welcome it.  
Lady Denham addressed her, asking for her thoughts.  
She shot a look up at Sidney, a silent plea for support, that melted him. Her eyes even wider than usual, a stutter in her voice, shy at being put on the spot. Her breathing deepend, her voice faltered  
“I know that young ladies are not meant to have opinions.” Another glance. Sidney felt a stab of guilt. “But I think Miss Lambe values her independence much as you do yours.” Sidney wanted to cheer. Miss Heywood had firmly put Lady Denham in her place. She had been quite unkind to Georgiana and Sidney had considered intervening. He’d stopped himself, not able to trust his ability to be equanimous or to retain his composure, based on his recent record. Thankfully Miss Heywood had seen fit to stick up for Georgiana.  
“Don’t you agree Mr Parker?” She seemed to call upon him for validation. A warm sensation was growing in Sidney.  
Lady Denham continued her cross examination.  
“So Miss Heywood are you still of the mind you are not here to find a rich man to marry?” Sidney felt embarrassment for her. How indiscrete of Lady Denham to question her in company like this.  
A tinkling carefree laugh emanated from Charlotte. He hadn’t heard her laugh before and was quite transported.  
“Indeed not m’am, I have no thoughts of marriage at all. And if I were to choose a husband I would seek equality of affection, money would not come into it.”  
Ahh the naivety of youth, Sidney considered. How wonderful to believe young ladies did not marry for money, only love. Sidney knew all to well that was not the case.  
The luncheon ended rather abruptly at Arthur’s disrespectful handling of Lady Denham’s pineapple.


	12. The Pineapple Luncheon

Charlotte read the gilt edged invitation from Lady Denham. How grand it sounded. She’d read of pineapples, where they grew, but imagine tasting one! Charlotte would have been more excited, but for the spectre of another encounter with Mr Sidney Parker. She could not hold anger long but she felt nervous and even a little reluctant to attend any social gathering he might be at.  
Denham House looked foreboding. Her usual enthusiasm dampened, she stuck close to Mary and Diana. A warm welcome from Clara boosted her as she observed Sidney Parker snap his fingers at the footman for wine. This man had no redeeming characteristics.   
Twice he had behaved unseemingly towards her but she would not allow it to happen again. She dithered at the end of the table, looking for her place, hoping it would be near Tom and Mary and not Sidney Parker. It wasn’t. Now with everyone else seated, Charlotte was acutely aware the only seat remaining was indeed right next to Mr Parker. She steeled herself, stole a sideways glance at him and tried to assess his temperament.  
He seemed quite jovial. He leaned towards her and asked for her opinion of the assembled company. In no way would she fall for that. The charming smile, the closeness. It was the balcony all over again. She was not a fool. This time she was forewarned.   
“As you have no interest in my opinion I shan’t trouble you with it.”  
He persevered “Come, share it with me.” Did he really think she would take leave of her senses and share anything with him?   
“Not for the world. I’ve endured two tongue lashings from you and I shan’t court a third. Why not just try to be civil?”  
He smiled “Perhaps I might.” Was there a note of sarcasm, a hint of mocking? She would have none of it.   
“Not with me. Prey.” With that Charlotte turned her full attention to Mr Crowe on her left. He’d been an amusing dance partner and she’d enjoyed his company and now they had a lively debate on the merits of Sanditon versus Willingden.  
Lady Denham was focussing her not too pleasant attention on Miss Lambe, who gave as good as she got. Charlotte was impressed and gave her a sympathetic smile.   
Then suddenly the old lady’s attention turned to Charlotte.  
“And what do you say Miss Heywood?” In truth she wanted to say nothing at all. She’d promised herself no more outspoken opinions or observations, but now, under scrutiny, she knew not where to turn. She took a peek at Mr Parker, whose disinterested expression was of no help, Mr Crowe gave a slight wink, and Charlotte took great heart from it, breathed deeply and spoke.  
“I know young ladies are not meant to have opinions.” She stopped momentarily, shot a look of what she hoped was derision at Mr Parker.  
“But I think Miss Lambe values her independence as much as you do yours, Lady Denham.” Charlotte could feel Mr Parker staring at her intently, he was uncomfortably close.  
“Don’t you agree Mr Parker?” She spoke directly to him to break the tension. She didn’t dare say what was really on the tip of her tongue. How could he abandon Miss Lambe to Lady Denham’s sharp tongue without standing up for her?   
Lady Denham would not be put off.   
“So Miss Heywood, do you still maintain you are not in Sanditon to find a rich man to take you off your parents hands?” That question again. Charlotte let out a chuckle. Lady D was merely teasing and she wasn’t going to be upset by it.


	13. The Accident

A few days passed. Miss Heywood seemed to be at his every turn. Sidney congratulated himself on his anesthetised feelings. Polite, firm, disinterested, but with a small growing regard.   
Her firm treatment of Lady Denham at the luncheon continued to bring a smile to him, whenever he thought of her, which was ever more frequently.  
She’d been at the coves when he’d emerged from the sea, jolting him out of an idle day dream, featuring the curve of her bosom. She’d expressed her shock at seeing him, and he duly apologised. Nakedness was not a comfortable sight for any lady. She’d taken off at great speed, which relieved him. Being caught together alone at the Coves would have been disastrous.   
After a visit to Georgiana, he met her in the hallway of Miss Griffiths’ lodgings. Rather, they’d collided, heavily. He instinctively caught her, his arm cradling her back. For a long moment  
he held her in an embrace. Her body seemed to soften against his. Sidney felt reluctant to let her go.   
She discovered him sheltering in the peace of the drawing room at Trafalgar House. Of course she would. Sidney contemplated his motives for choosing that spot to relax in.   
During a long walk to Sanditon House to meet the ridiculous Dr Fuchs, Miss Heywood had maintained a more than respectable distance from him, making conversation impossible. She chose instead to walk with Arthur and Diana, taking Arthur’s arm and giggling with him. Sidney had turned to catch their conversation hoping to be encouraged to join, but they were preoccupied and seemed not to notice him. Before him walked Mary and Tom, also arm in arm, their steps exactly matching each other. Sidney walked alone, surrounded by his family which poignantly outlined his loneliness, a hint of sadness hung over him.   
Each time he came across Miss Heywood, the regard he had for her grew. She always behaved like a true lady. Until she noticed him. She would smile and laugh unselfconsciously. She’d play, run and giggle with his nieces and nephew. Compared to the women Sidney was familiar with, she was really quite extraordinary.  
She even managed to order and correlate Tom’s chaotic filing system and desk. Sidney was able to check receipts and payments, and look at outgoings without trouble. He was perturbed by Tom’s lavish spending, but comforted that the paper work was being maintained by the very capable Miss Heywood.   
Sidney made plans to return to London. With some sense of regret, but he had business to attend to and a life to lead. One last visit to the terrace.   
As he rounded the corner, he was met with a commotion of shouting and agonised screams. Old Mr Stringer lay awkwardly over bricks and scaffold, his leg contorted, bloody and obviously broken. Miss Heywood, was cradling his bloodied head, calmly speaking to him and holding his hand.   
“Fetch the Doctor!” she ordered Sidney. Sidney directed Mr Robinson to the hotel, telling him unnecessarily to hurry. She started tugging at her petticoat unable to tear it. She looked to Sidney, requesting he tear a strip from her underskirt. So close to her stockinged calf, aware of her lace undergarments Sidney felt dizzy. Her sudden proximity heated him, unable to avert his eyes, he tore a long strip of fabric. She snatched it from him quickly, without hesitation, strongly wound it above the gruesome wound, stopping the bleeding. Sidney’s stomach lurched. The wound looked severe and frightening, even to him, yet Miss Heywood showed no sign of fainting or revulsion. Sidney caught her eye briefly. Her face clouded with concern, but no fear, he was more than awestruck.  
Mr Stringer was moved to Trafalgar House. Miss Heywood remained by his side, comforting him calmly, while ordering a table, sheets, and boiling water. The doctor arrived, and suggested Miss Heywood leave.   
“I’m not afraid.” She told him, urgency in her voice and no hesitation. The doctor passed her the whisky to numb Stringer’s pain. She held his head, helping him drink. Sidney spoke to young Stringer, who was quite beside himself with fear for his father’s condition. Sidney assured him he’d receive the best care.   
The doctor worked tirelessly, the bones were set and Mr Stringer’s pain subsided in a haze of whisky.  
Miss Heywood slipped from the room. Sidney watched this resourceful, surprising woman walk away from him. Bereft by her sudden departure from his side, he followed her, finding her outside with Young Stringer. She relayed the news his father’s leg was saved, blood flow had been restored. Stringer justifiably relieved and overwhelmed, grasped Charlotte’s bare hands in his. For a second they stood together in their relief until Stringer recovered himself enough to apologise for his familiarity. Sidney approached, the shock of seeing her held by Stringer gripped his stomach and compelled him to intervene.   
“Your father needs you now.” With a colder tone than he’d intended, he directed Stringer towards the house and Stringer gratefully rushed inside.  
Sidney stood and regarded Charlotte. The distress of the day’s events slowly paled as she stood before him in the sunlight. Relaxed and at ease, her smile returned and for the first time, he felt it was for him. Unable to find any words, he reluctantly turned to walk away, but he could not leave her. He needed to stay. Maintaining a few steps distant from her he spoke.  
“Miss Heywood.” He fixed her with an apprehensive smile.   
“You gave a good account of yourself today.” That was almost it. I am overwhelmed at your calmness, aghast at your ability in the face of such a shock, your kindness, your resourcefulness, it would all have sounded far too emotive.   
She cautiously took a step towards him, a laugh playing on her lips.   
“Because you had dismissed me as frivolous?” Her untroubled features open and smiling, gazed up at him and he felt a thawing in his heart. He could no longer resist her.  
“Forgive me.” He had truly tried very hard to dismiss her. His heart did not allow it.   
“How could I not, since I dismissed you also.”  
Time slowed, his eyes locked into hers. A tense intimacy descended. He could have remained there, but propriety engaged. Speak, man, speak! His mind blank, only the incident at the Coves swam into mind. Words formed, they were not his best.  
“Errr. Our ummm meeting down at the Coves. I hope you were not too embarrassed?”   
That laugh again. He’d heard it at the luncheon. Without pretence, a free and natural laugh.  
“Why should I be embarrassed? I was wearing clothes”. She was teasing, but a small bite to her bottom lip gave away her slight unease. She was still wary of him. It pained him that the damage of his behaviour was still there to see. He had changed her, not in a good way. He smiled warmly, still unsure of what to say, but needing to go on.  
“It was unfair of you to ambush me like that.”He teased in return, hopeful she would take it in good heart.  
“I assure you it was not deliberate on my part.” She continued her laugh so joyful to him.  
“Nor mine.” He quickly countered, feeling himself at ease and allowing a laugh at the thought she had deliberately laid in wait for him.  
Time stopped, her face turned up to him, her smile so warm, there were no words. How long, he had no idea.  
“Well then.” Charlotte was first to break the spell.  
“Well then.” His normal easy charm deserting him, he could merely parrot her, with an almost shy smile, he bade her good day.


	14. The Accident

After her daily sea bathing, Charlotte had a habit of visiting the terrace. Most usually with instructions or plans from Tom, but occasionally just to see for herself the exciting works and enjoy some conversation with Young Mr Stringer.  
He always greeted her so warmly, she looked forward to seeing him each day. As she approached she would spot him high on a roof or scaffold, but by the time she’d arrived at the works he was always on the ground, and greeted her with interesting details of his latest progress.   
His happiness at seeing her could occasionally make Charlotte blush.  
Today he was explaining how he would build his very own town in the future, with workers cottages finished to the highest standards before the gentry houses were built, giving his workers secure homes while they toiled for him. Charlotte felt great admiration. He pointed out his father to her, the best stone mason in the district, he was responsible for the grand corbels and keystones that adorned the elegant fascia of the houses.   
They strolled together towards the newest part of the terrace where work was in full swing, Mr Stringer explaining the elaborate use of pulleys to move building materials efficiently. He was very intelligent, thought Charlotte, explaining quite complicated matters so clearly and with great patience to her. It reminded her of her father teaching her animal husbandry, as throughly as he had to her brothers.   
A sudden commotion brought Charlotte sharply back from admiring Mr Stringer’s golden features.  
Before them lay Old Mr Stringer fallen from the scaffold, contorted in agony, blood pouring from his head, his leg badly broken.   
Charlotte instinctively sprang to him. She checked the wound on his head, it was thankfully superficial. She spoke to him and he was able to answer her, he was lucid. She moved towards his wounded leg, bleeding profusely. The sight stunned her momentarily. She’d seen wounds before but this was gut wrenching. Sidney Parker appeared at her side, barking orders and organising men. His strong presence oddly calmed her. Charlotte knew the bleeding had to be stopped quickly. She yanked at her petticoat, needing a length of fabric for a tourniquet. It was no use. She looked at Young Stringer for some help. He was frozen in shock, unable to take anything in.  
“Could you?” It’s was vital now. Mr Parker took hold of her undergarments. Charlotte quickly discarded the thought he had a very good view of her drawers. She’d think on it later. A forceful tear of her underskirt gave Charlotte the length of fabric she needed. Expertly she tied it tightly, above the wound, successfully slowing the bleeding. Mr Parker nodded encouragement to her, time to move Mr Stringer.   
He lifted Mr Stringer with ease, helped by some workers. They carried him speedily into Trafalgar House. Mr Parker organised the servants. Charlotte showed Dr Fuchs into the drawing room, helping him with bags and paraphernalia. Tom and Mary rather bewildered, were of no help at all. Mr Parker approached Young Stringer. He spoke softly to him, assuring him his father would be well treated. He placed his hand gently on Stringer’s arm to steady him and showed him outside. Charlotte watched curiously and with more surprise. Mr Parker had never shown a tender or genteel disposition before. What she saw, the warmth and curtesy he showed, stirred her, reminded her of the ache in her gut on her first sight of him at the cliffs.   
Charlotte helped Mr Stringer drink the doctor’s whisky, but as he cried out in pain, she told Mr Parker to hold his hand. He gripped him resolutely, holding him still as the Doctor manoeuvred his leg to set the broken bones.   
It felt like an age, the doctor working diligently, Sidney Parker so close, meeting her eye frequently, his quiet strength, calmness and assertive manner so soothing in the commotion and distress. She felt very grateful for his presence. How different that was to the dread she had felt on encountering him previously. She perhaps had him wrong. He hid his compassion so well, but it was there. His gentle words, firm but caring touch, calm confidence in the face of Mr Stringer’s torment. She felt great relief he was beside her.  
She remembered Young Mr Stringer waiting outside panicked and scared for his father. She needed to give him the good news that the doctor had imparted, the leg had been saved.   
They stood in the sunlight, gratitude and relief shining from Young Stringer’s face. She thought he might break down as he took up her hands in his, squeezing them gently. She did not pull away. He needed her now. As realisation registered in his face, he hastily dropped his hold and apologised quite flustered. At that moment Sidney Parker appeared and told Mr Stringer he should go to his father.   
Charlotte stood, a little overcome by the day’s events, slowing her breathing and enjoying the warmth of the sun. Sidney Parker stood before her, he seemed equally at odds with himself. Such a shocking event must have affected him also. For a time they seemed just to be, together but not, no word spoken. Charlotte went to go back inside, as Sidney Parker turned towards the Tavern. But he stopped and spoke her name. She was pleased to hear him speak it and turned to him.  
“You gave a good account of yourself today. I should never have expected you to be so capable.”  
It rather sounded like a challenge. Why not expect her to be capable? What expectations did he have of her?   
“Because I am a young woman, or because you dismissed me as frivolous?” He had the good grace to appear contrite, lowering his gaze and shyly smiling.  
“I suspect a bit of both. Please forgive me.” His words seemed to penetrate her soul. He wasn’t the brusque, uncouth man who had shouted at her, this was a man sensitive of feeling, with a warmness to his heart she never expected.   
“How could I not, since I also dismissed you.” He seemed a little taken aback by her admission.  
“And exactly how did I earn your condemnation?” There was a lightness to his tone, a sparkle in his eyes. This tall dark man she’d avoided, almost feared, was looking into her eyes and through his she could see into his soul.   
“Errr our meeting at the Coves, I hope you were not too embarrassed ?” No, she had not felt embarrassed, shocked at the naked sight of him perhaps. She had brothers, she was not totally naive, but his form had been more magnificent than she could have envisaged. She recalled the vision in her mind, blushed deeply, and looked away.   
“It was hardly fair of you to ambush me like that.”  
Gracious! He thought it calculated.  
“Not at all deliberate on my part.” Charlotte retorted quickly, trying to recall if she’d turned her back to him as swiftly as she might.   
“Nor mine.” The laughter in his voice was infectious. He seemed to enjoy teasing her.   
Charlotte was bemused.  
“Well then” sprang from her lips.   
“Well then”, his mock effrontery at her ridiculous words. Charlotte tried to suppress her wide smile, lest he considered it girlish. And then a moment of stillness, a heart beat, she felt a joining with him, as if no other world existed; just him and now.


	15. Young Mr Stringer

Young Mr Stringer lived with his father in a comfortable home, close to the new building works. His father had built their house and lived in it happily for many years, until the recent loss of his wife. Young Stringer missed his mother, the house feeling empty without her. It had been a year since her passing and Stringer felt this a respectful time of grieving. Now he should think about finding a wife, and filling his home with laughter again.   
He’d lived in Sanditon all his life and was very familiar with the girls in the town. They were pleasing enough but Stringer wanted something more. His father had been happy with a simple life. He was a stone mason, as his forefathers before him. Stringer had learned from his father, and worked stone very well. But it was not enough. He yearned for travel and new sights. From his mother, he had an ability to draw and sketch. Combining this with his love of building, he taught himself to draw up plans and design new structures. He hoped to become an architect and build his own town one day.   
But for the moment he worked for a man named Parker, developing Sanditon, claiming Stringer’s ideas as all his own, even his hand drawn plans and rarely having the means to pay him or his workers. Stringer promised himself he would not be so unreliable and untrustworthy with his town.  
Because of his place in life Stringer was required to keep his own counsel and he found this difficult at times. How often had he wanted to tell people the designs were his own, when they complimented Mr Parker on his fine eye. But it was impossible. He knew he would rise above his station one day, but until he did, he had to mind his manners.   
As was usual, Mr Parker visited him in the morning to discuss the workers progress. This morning he brought with his a new house guest. A very beautiful young lady who appeared at the top of his ladder. Mr Stringer was very surprised by her agility and bravery. Ladies did not normally climb.   
She spoke knowledgeably of building materials and took a great interest in the plans. Stringer was impressed. She was exactly the sort of lady he would be very happy to take as a wife. Stringer was ambitious and saw no reason why a lady could not be within his ability to marry.   
Miss Heywood took to visiting the works daily. At first with notes from Mr Parker, but later she seemed just to come by, after her morning sea bathing. Her hair hung in damp ringlets as she walked back from the beach. Stringer would spot her from the scaffolding and make his way to the ground to greet her. He ensured she saw his new ideas and understood the building process.


	16. Down by the River

A poor nights sleep punctuated by gruesome visions woke Sidney early. The previous day had been abhorrent, but yet also so surprising. Not wishing to rise, he turned his thoughts from the grisly sights he had seen and to the memory of stolen glances of Miss Heywood’s petticoats. The scent of her intoxicated him, the curve of her calfquite undid him.   
He had enjoyed the closeness of women, and was familiar with the sight of them unclothed, but none had ever affected his senses the way she did. He could quite have forgotten his own name at the sight of her sun blushed skin. Everything he knew deserted him, at the thought of her.  
The London coach left at 3pm, Sidney had time to visit Tom and Mary before leaving. He knew his real motive for calling at Trafalgar House was to encounter Miss Heywood. He found Mary and the children but no sign of Miss Heywood. Mary suggested he took the children down to the river.  
“They miss their Uncle Sidney so when you are away and they love to play at the river.”  
Disappointed that there was no sign of Miss Heywood, Sidney decided the next best thing was time spent with his nieces and nephew. He had no intention of being back in Sanditon in the near future so would make the best of his time left.   
It was a gloriously warm day, so Sidney was able to remove his topcoat and discard his hat. The children played boisterously and Sidney laughed and played alongside them.   
Miss Heywood appeared over the hill and made her way, a little slowly towards them. Was she still wary, still without a good opinion of him? The thought saddened him, but did not suppress the smile her greeted her with.  
They spent a happy hour playing, sailing boats and sharing the picnic. Sidney watched Charlotte unable to take his eyes off her. He contemplated their meetings. On the cliff, calling her a maid, at the ball, treating her in that awful manner. He almost audibly groaned. Then Stringer’s fall, and her astonishing ability in the face of such anguish to retain her senses. And now here she was, within touching distance. Sweet natured, happy, amusing, playful, she was just divine. Sidney considered if he could allow himself to believe that she might come to think well of him despite his early poor impression. It had been so long since he’d believed he could be happy, like Tom and Mary. With a woman at his side that he trusted, who improved him and approved of him. It was all he wanted and something he had not dared to dream of, for so long. Charlotte had changed him and unlocked his heart.   
As he enjoyed the sight of her, taking in every detail, from the curls in her hair, to the way she sat to accommodate the children in her lap, she gazed out across the river and excitedly announced “I’ve had an idea!”  
Sidney listened as Charlotte explained her idea to him. It was precisely as he had thought. Sanditon needed entertainment, something to attract people such as his friends, used to London and all its excitements. Her idea struck him as a stroke of genius. What better way to show off the delights of Sanditon than a regatta.


	17. The River

The day’s events were difficult for Charlotte to process. Lovely Mr Stringer, so distressed, so warmly holding her hands. Such a pleasing touch.  
Mr Parker physically closer than any man had ever been, grasping her underskirts in a dangerous fashion. A thrill she had never expected and had no idea what to do with. The idea he had seen much of her leg, and her undergarments made her feel uneasy but light in her breath. The same very mixed emotions she’d felt on seeing his naked torso emerge from the waves, Neptune like. Why was he constantly in her thoughts. On her mind both day and appearing in dreams at night? His baritone voice resounding in her ears.  
“You gave a good account of yourself today.” How his words made her senses soar. He thought well of her, and she was so glad of it. His good opinion of her meant more than anything.   
She walked with great joy to her morning bathe, then visited Georgiana, before arriving back at Trafalgar House.  
Mary asked her to collect the children from the river, it was not yet late, so she could take a picnic and the children could eat there. Charlotte strolled towards the happy scene, surprised and delighted to find Sidney Parker with them, extremely glad to have time with him again. Why had Mary not mentioned him?   
Mr Parker was on hands and knees allowing the children to climb and tumble from him into the long grass, laughter ringing out. She slowed her pace to take in more. He was totally at ease, gentle and fully absorbed in their play. His face so beautiful it quite took her breath away. Once again the ache in her stirred. He’d noticed her approach, and stood, stiffening from his previous relaxed form. He welcomed her, his eyes holding hers intently, a look so pleasing it quickened Charlotte’s heart and left her breathless.   
Their time together was the most pleasurable Charlotte could ever remember. To be alone with a gentleman so handsome, felt so thrilling. He was polite, honourable, gentlemanly and correct. The love he showed his family and the gentleness in his voice was so unexpected. She could no longer hold the opinion he was cold and impolite.   
Charlotte gazed out over the river and an idea came to her.  
Sanditon needed visitors, to see how beautiful it was, to take lodgings in the new houses, to spend money and bring prosperity. Visitors were attracted by entertainment, and what better entertainment than a day at the river and a Grand Regatta!


	18. Sidney returns Unexpectedly

It had been less than a week since leaving Sanditon and Charlotte, but Sidney could not wait to return. London had felt miserable to him. The same miserable he’d felt for ten years. The miserable he’d stopped feeling when he was with her. He’d spent his evenings pacing the drawing room at Bedford Place. What was her opinion of him? Did she have any regard for him? He couldn’t blame her if she did not, his treatment of her had been despicable.   
An evening with Crowe and an appointment at the card tables was in order. Babbington was away at his country estate dealing with business and could not join them.   
“He has sheep trouble” Crowe was alway good fun and very droll “I’ve suggested a shooting party”.  
As the evening wore on and much money had been won and lost, the gentlemen walked home through Holborn.   
“What of Sanditon old friend?”  
“I return tomorrow.”  
Crowe had held the secret of Sidney’s growing regard for Miss Heywood for some weeks. Since the late night, drunken conversation after the ball.   
“Been on any balconies recently?” Crowe could not hold his tongue, his wicked humour liberated by a bottle of port. Sidney stopped, incredulous. Could his friend so wine sodden have actually remembered?  
“See here Parker. It’s got to be said, and I’m the only one who will say it. Miss Heywood is uncommonly pretty, with intelligence and good humour. She would make you a very happy man. Enough of this infatuation with Ice Cold Eliza. She brought you only misery and the fact you have let her continue to do so is quite ridiculous. The misery she brought her late husband accelerated his demise and I will not let that woman claim another victim. Make Miss Heywood an offer, before someone else does.”   
Crowe had never liked Eliza. She’d taken his witty, adventurous, confident, affable friend and ground him down to a shadow. Having got him at her mercy, hanging on her every word like a dog, she took up with Mr Campion and promptly forgot all about Sidney. 

His business concluded, Sidney took the earliest coach back to Sanditon, and went straight to Trafalgar House. He found Mary alone. A sudden concern gripped him. What if she had returned home? Momentarily he felt panicked, but stilled his worries when Mary described all the wonderful events Charlotte had imagined for the Regatta.   
“And to bring people down to the sea, there will be donkey races and the Sandcastle Competition. Tom has been amazed at how very resourceful Charlotte has been. She is quite invaluable.”  
Tea concluded, and still no sign of Miss Heywood, Sidney excused himself, explaining he needed to see Mrs Griffiths about Georgiana.  
His thoughts were with Charlotte, and Crowe’s words. How had she so successfully managed to disappear at the very time he needed her near. He laughed to himself recalling all the moments he’d happened upon her when he had wanted so badly to avoid her. It was so clear now. His avoidance had not stopped his heart. Nothing could stop his heart from loving her.   
Mrs Griffiths looked bemused to see him and explained Georgiana was with Miss Heywood and Mrs Parker. The realisation that Mrs Griffiths had been deliberately misled caused a panic in him like no other. Abduction had always been a possibility for a lady in Georgiana’s position. It had been the reason for her removal from London where her wealth had drawn the attention of the worst of society. To think that Sidney, placing Charlotte in the path of Georgiana and thereby in danger made him feel wretched. The party of Sidney, Mrs Griffiths and Rev Hankins, who had to be trusted not to relay any tales of the ladies’ disappearance, went out in search.   
After the Coves, the beach, the river, the cliffs, the waterfall, Sidney was in town. He tried to calm himself. Perhaps they were just out walking, or choosing new bonnets, or even visiting Old Mr Stringer. He stood in the main square desperate, hoping no harm had come to them.   
Then he heard Charlotte’s voice. Relief hit him, but percolating through were her words.  
“You see, Georgiana, this is exactly why I locked you up in Mrs Griffiths’ dungeon, while I, Sidney Parker, galavant around town with my high society friends”. Her real thoughts of him, mocking, no time to consider them now. As they giggled, Sidney stepped forward from behind the coach, relief and anger swirled inside, mild irritation was all he allowed to show on the outside.  
“Please go on, I’d like to know what I might say next”. Sidney stepped towards them and discovered Otis Molyneux beside Georgiana, his arm linked in hers.   
“Unhand her Molyneux.” His tone was menacing, he advanced, his frame towering over Otis.  
“I might have expected to find you here”. Sidney stood deliberately with his back to Charlotte. He had to concentrate on the matter in hand and not the voice in his head telling him what a fool he had been. He directed Mrs Griffiths to remove Georgiana and she was dragged away almost hysterical. Sidney felt his breathing steady. This silly girl could have been lost to him, his promise to her father broken, and somehow Miss Heywood had been complicit.   
“Listen to me, Molyneux.” A cold threatening tone. “If I find you in Sanditon or near Miss Lambe again, I will not be responsible for my actions.” He pushed him towards the coach. “Do not come back.” He growled the words slowly.  
Sidney now turned his attention to Miss Heywood.   
“Did we not agree you were to look out for Georgiana? I should have known you were not to be trusted.” The relief he felt that she was safe gave way to feeling bitterly disappointed in her. The longing he felt for her, made worse the feeling of disappointment that she had let him down. He turned away, needing to be alone.   
“And I should have known you care nothing for her happiness.” Miss Heywood was following him, a fire in her eyes. He turned on her “Please refrain from making judgments of a situation you know do not understand.”   
“I understand perfectly well.” Her anger seemed to grow. Her eyes fixed on him, ablaze.  
“Of course you do, despite knowing Georgiana a handful of weeks and Molyneux just a few hours.” Sidney felt quite exasperated, his sarcasm biting.  
“That was enough time to learn Mr Molyneux is as a respectable gentleman that I could ever wish to meet”.   
If only she knew what an truly undesirable character Molyneux actually was.  
“You do not know the truth about that man.” Sidney spat the words out, his voice raised, he was aware of several interested stares.   
“The truth!” Miss Heywood grew more incensed. “The truth is you judge a man by the colour of his skin.” It was a low blow and it hurt, breathing heavily, he wanted this finished swiftly before a crowd formed.  
“That is enough.” He found himself shouting in her face, a momentary loss of control. He gathered himself. How to get this girl away from him? He spotted Stringer at a respectable distance, trying to appear disinterested. Sidney gestured to him. Calmly he asked Stringer to accompany her home. He was aware they had a friendship as he’d often seen them together. Sidney wanted them together now. Miss Heywood distressed, Stringer the galant saviour. Let Stringer work his charm and remove the problem of Miss Heywood from him entirely. Crowe’s words were “make her an offer, before someone else does.” Let Stringer be that someone else.


	19. A Day in the Woods

It was a beautiful summers day as Charlotte called on Georgiana. She found her restless, and spirited. She begged Charlotte to release her from Mrs Griffiths’ detention.  
Mrs Griffiths, never far from a book of poetry, looked pensive as Charlotte requested that Georgiana be allowed some sea air. Recalling their behaviour last time, ankles on show, skirts up, laughing loudly and splashing in the sea, Mrs Griffiths was not to be easily persuaded. Georgiana spoke up “Surely the presence of Mrs Parker will make for respectable company?” Charlotte was aghast. A blatant lie and Georgiana showed no discomfort speaking it. Mrs Griffiths could not disagree, and Georgiana with renewed energy, dragged Charlotte from the parlour quickly.  
Troubled by the lie, unhappy at being part of it, Charlotte cautioned Georgiana.  
“What if we are found out?” Georgiana laughed and kept running, with Charlotte chasing and no idea where they were going. In a clearing in the woods, Georgiana called out and a man appeared from behind a tree. Charlotte was shocked and really quite put out. She knew she had been manipulated into a clandestine encounter. They obviously knew each other well, far too well, and now Charlotte had the responsibility of protecting Georgiana and defending her reputation from a stranger. She was quite peeved but resigned. Georgiana could not be stopped, so it was fortunate Charlotte was there to accompany her. Charlotte had to make the best of it.  
As it turned out, it was a pleasant afternoon with Otis, a disarming man, Georgiana obviously loved deeply. All too soon their time together was at an end and the London coach stood waiting. They were in good spirits.  
“Imagine if Sidney knew, he’d burst into actual flames.” Georgiana had explained to Charlotte why Otis was unwelcome in Sanditon. She’d been shocked to learn Sidney held such views, but not entirely surprised. He was still very much an enigma, despite the glorious afternoon they had shared by the river.  
“You see Georgiana, this is exactly why I locked you up in Mrs Griffiths’ dungeon.” Charlotte stood, one hand on hip, happy to make her friend laugh with her mimicry, to dispel the sadness at saying goodbye to Otis.  
A wild look in Georgiana’s eye made her look around.  
There, statuesque, dark, foreboding and angry stood Sidney Parker his features sharp, controlled and cold.  
“Please go on, I’d like to know what I might say next.” And then the grimace she’d seen so often. Each time she’d run into him and he’d been unable to hide his displeasure at seeing her. Memories of the river vanished, she was back on the balcony. Only this time the ground had been swept from under her feet. How could she? She’d tried so hard to keep her opinions, behave like a lady, be genteel. But this, to mock him, ridicule him publicly, the man that made her heart fly, it was contemptible. Charlotte felt ashamed.  
Mr Parker, despatched Georgiana from the scene, her pitiful face hurtful to see. He roughly dealt with Otis, and then he turned on her.  
“I might have known you were not to be trusted.” How his words stung. He had trusted her, and she had lost that trust. He walked away.  
“And Georgiana? Does her happiness mean nothing?” Charlotte couldn’t let him go like this, she was resolute and needed him to hear her. Sidney chose to be prejudiced, not give Otis a chance. He had to see he was wrong to think like that. She strode after him, seeing his back turned to her, dismissing her, made her angrier still.  
“You cannot understand the situation” His features dark, she couldn’t read him, save for exasperation as if speaking to a child.  
“I understand perfectly well. You choose to judge a man by the colour of his skin.” Charlotte knew as soon as she’d spoken those words she had wounded him deeply, she regretting them instantly, Hurt registered across his face as if she had slapped him.  
“That is enough!” exploded from him. Townsfolk stopped. Charlotte breathless and mortified, could not speak. She never wished to cause pain to him. Suddenly his rebuke of her felt deserved. He was quite right. She was much too free with her opinions. She knew nothing, and her judgement had been poorly influenced. She had ridiculed a man she liked, and she deserved his contempt.  
Sidney turned to Young Stringer.  
“Please accompany Miss Heywood to Trafalgar House.”  
He turned his back once more, leaving Charlotte with a maelstrom of feelings. How she hated herself.


	20. A Walk with Miss Heywood

Stringer watched from a distance as Sidney Parker once again treated Miss Heywood in a rude and ungentlemanly way. He felt his blood rise. How much he wished he could go to her, stand between them and tell Parker he was out of order speaking to her like that. He knew his place did not allow it. He had a low opinion of Mr Parker. He remained close, to be of assistance when their disagreement had finished.   
He was surprised then to be called over and requested he accompanied Miss Heywood home. He was very pleased to do so, but remained impassive. Parker left smartly.  
James walked beside Miss Heywood in silence. He enjoying the feeling of her skirts blowing delicately against his legs, watched her hair drift across her face and her expression soften as she came to relax. Walking beside her in companionable silence was exactly what he’d needed.  
She apologised to him for being poor company.  
He wanted to tell her he admired her for standing up to Mr Parker, that whatever he’d said to her, she had been right to rebuke him. He wanted to say so many things, but he did not.   
“I’m rather ashamed of myself, loosing my temper like that.” How he admired her for her strong counter to Parker. There was nothing to be ashamed of.   
“I’m sure you had good reason.”  
Miss Heywood seemed to calm herself.  
“I did, absolutely I did. Certain people are inherently disagreeable, don’t you think?”  
Disagreeable, uncouth, ungentlemanly, rude and a drunken rogue was more what Stringer thought of Parker. How laudable she was for speaking up for herself.  
“Perhaps I should not speak my mind, perhaps I should just simper, that is what is expected of young ladies.”  
“Please don’t change.” You are perfect as you are he thought. Head strong, opinionated, confident and intelligent, she was exactly what he aspired to for his chosen wife. He’d known from their first meeting, seeing her climb up the scaffold, she was a rare woman and one he could easily love.   
He’d watched Parker over the last weeks look at Miss Heywood, in such a way that no gentleman should ever look at a lady in public, certainly not one that wasn’t his wife. The expression on his face should never be seen outside the bedroom. He regarded her like a starving man looked at a feast. Stringer knew exactly what was on that man’s mind and it angered him greatly. Parker was no gentleman.   
“Thank you Mr Stringer, would that all men could be like you.” It was a wonderful compliment. Miss Heywood thought him an example to all men. It should have made James feel happy and secure in her regard for him. But it did not. He was a little lost. Had she wanted all men to be like him, or just Mr Parker in particular?


	21. A walk with Mr Stringer

Charlotte felt so many emotions she had no idea what to do with herself.   
She felt ashamed of accusing Mr Parker of prejudice. She was angry at his treatment of Georgiana. Shocked that he’d again shouted at her. Embarrassed that she’d shouted back at him.   
Mr Stringer walked silently beside her, a comforting presence of calm to her stormy thoughts.   
She apologised for being such poor company.   
Mr Stringer graciously accepted her apology. He seemed always to know the right thing to say.   
“I feel quite ashamed I lost my temper.” In fact Charlotte felt more ashamed of accusing Mr Parker of prejudice. She searched Mr Stringer’s face for his reaction, she was now a little more guarded in expressing herself.   
“I’m sure you had good reason to loose your temper Miss.” Mr Stringer’s warm words soothed her.   
Charlotte considered how disagreeable Mr Parker was, how unreliable his behaviour, how wary she had felt of him in past meetings, and how pleasing he had been also on occasion. But overall unfathomable.  
“Some people are just disagreeable, Mr Stringer, and impossible to know.”  
“Upon my word, Miss, you are not afraid to express your opinions.” Mr Stringer smiled charmingly, full of admiration for her. How different from Mr Parker’s reaction to her opinions. No look of admiration from him, just disdain, and venom.   
“Perhaps I should keep my own thoughts, is that not what is expected from young ladies?” Charlotte looked to Mr Stringer, his kind face turned to her.  
“I should never wish for you to change, not for the world.” Mr Stringer’s eyes shone as he spoke to her. He was truly a kind and loving man. She would do well to think on him. But her mind was filled with Sidney Parker; harsh, unexpected, disagreeable, mysterious and despite herself, a man she felt an attachment for.   
“Would that all men could be like you Mr Stringer” or just one man in particular.


	22. Babbington’s Letter

Back in London, Sidney doubled his efforts to raise his spirts and forget Charlotte. Babbington was back in town, looking almost as miserable as Sidney felt. Crowe jollied them, but even his best efforts could not make Sidney smile.   
There was the round of banks to visit, to raise more credit for Sanditon. This time he was laughed out of them. Tom’s reputation for aggrandisement and overspending had reached London.   
Nightly entertainment was card playing and visits to gambling houses in the less salubrious parts of town, with a fair amount of wine thrown in.   
Sidney settled into this pattern with resignation. Better the life he was used to than one that brought so much hurt and disappointment.  
He felt certain Stringer would have taken advantage of the situation with Miss Heywood and convinced her of his quite obvious affection for her. Her agreeable opinion of him had been quite obvious too. Sidney hoped the next time he had to visit Sanditon, they would be wed and he could merely wish her all happiness. She would trouble him no longer. He had no plans to visit again this summer anyway. In fact Sidney decided an extended period away from Sanditon, his family and Miss Heywood was in order, to raise all of their spirits. Crowe and Babbington had often asked to visit Antigua with him. Now was a good time.  
The London season was in full swing and there was lots to detain him, business as well as pleasure. Once the season had ended they would travel together and Sidney would show them his beloved second home. Crowe would certainly enjoy the rum.  
One early morning, Babbington looking positively flushed, came chasing up the steps of Bedford Place, he’d run all the way from Russell Square, too excited to wait for his carriage.  
“She’s written! She’s written at last.” He was waving scented note paper as if it were a prize of unequalled value. Sidney laughed at his old friend. Why on earth would a letter bring him so much joy?  
“Don’t you see, she must regard me, or she would never have written, she is too true to herself.”  
The letter was short and lacking in any curtesy, but it contained information there was to be a cricket match at Sanditon. Babbington felt certain Esther wanted to see him. Sidney decided she wanted to see him demean himself before her.   
Meeting Crowe at his club in Bloomsbury, later that day Babbington was still full of joy.  
“We have to go. Immediately!”  
“WE?” Sidney and Crowe incredulous, in unison, and not inclined to agree.   
“Come on chaps! I’d like my men beside me, if I am to secure Miss Denham’s affections. And there’s the cricket.”  
Sidney groaned and rolled his eyes at Crowe, who ordered more wine.  
They took the morning coach and alighted in Sanditon by early mid day. Crowe and Babbington headed straight for the Tavern.   
Sidney had the difficult task of imparting the unwillingness of the banks to loan any further money on the building works. He wanted to get that meeting over with before any wine was drunk. He hoped to get in and out of Trafalgar House without encountering Miss Heywood. He wasn’t sure how he would feel on seeing her again. Thankfully Tom took the news in reasonably good heart, or at least appeared to. With that, Miss Heywood crossed the hall and entered the drawing room.  
In a simple white dress, and hair curling around her shoulders she simply shone. He could feel himself relax as he saw her. He stood up, all the while unable to take his eyes from her. He had managed to forget how beautiful she was, how being near her made him feel, the comfort of everything being right in the world when she was there, and nothing else was needed.  
Tom made his excuses and left the room.   
Sidney let out a deep sign. He could have stood there forever, just taking her in. He felt no need to speak, a stillness descended between them, which Miss Heywood was the first to break.   
“I assume you are here for the cricket, Mr Parker.” An icy tone to her voice.  
“Assumptions again Miss Heywood.” Any thoughts he had that she might have held some small liking for him disappeared. He attempted a very poor semblance of a smile.  
“I was not expecting you back so soon.” She seemed unable to look at him.  
“Believe me, neither was I.” Sidney shifted uncomfortably now. It was rather obvious Miss Heywood had a strong disliking for him. Well, it couldn’t be helped, and anyway, this was his last visit to Sanditon.


	23. The Cricket

The morning of the cricket match finally arrived. Charlotte was looking forward to it. Another exciting day in Sanditon. No Mr Sidney Parker to cloud the day. Charlotte had cleverly organised a meeting between Otis and Georgiana, during the match. She felt extremely pleased with herself. Acting as their go between, she had posted Georgiana’s letters to Otis. They would meet during the cricket. Charlotte would accompany her. How happy that had made her friend. It was wonderful to see her smile again after laying in her bed, curtains drawn, for so long.   
Dressed in her finest white dress, Charlotte came down from her room to the sight of Mr Sidney Parker. She let out a little gasp, she hadn’t expected to see him today. Taken aback, her heart beat a little faster. Tom dashed off to the terrace leaving them.   
Annoyed that he’d turned up to ruin her day and Georgiana’s plan, Charlotte could not hide her irritation. They stood in silence. Mr Parker showed no sign of addressing her, it was up to Charlotte to break the silence.   
“I assume you are here for the cricket?”  
“More assumptions Miss Heywood?”  
How he irritated her. His superiority. His sarcasm. Poor Georgiana, no wonder she disliked him so. He cared for no one and nothing besides himself. Charlotte wished he did not return to Sanditon so frequently.   
Down at the sea, determined to enjoy the day, Charlotte busied herself with preparing refreshments with Mary and Diana. The whole town had turned out for the match. When she saw Mr Parker stalking closer, she decided avoidance was her best tactic. She veered away from him to greet Georgiana.   
The workers team eventually arrived, lead by handsome Mr Stringer, who would be team captain. Of course, thought Charlotte.   
Before settling into her seat next to Mary, Charlotte wished Mr Stringer good luck. She moved closer to him and whispered to tease him at the admiration he had from the Beaufort sisters, who could not contain their gawping and giggles as he removed his coat. His cheeks reddened a little.   
“I hope you are among my admirers Miss Heywood?” James was feeling quite emboldened by Charlotte’s smile and gentle teasing.   
“Ask me again when I’ve seen you play!” Charlotte smiled broadly at Mr Stringer.   
If Mr Parker was going to stand glowering at her, she was going to show him she did not care. Mr Stringer was much more a gentleman than he was and she would favour him with her attention. Mr Sidney Parker would realise she really did not care one bit what he thought of her, or how he felt. As Charlotte turned to sit with Mary, Sidney Parker loomed before her. Avoidance was impossible, so she chose to say good luck, adding “although I imagine you don’t think you’ll need it.” He chuckled, not in a derisory way, an honest enjoyable laugh. How very odd.   
Mr Parker made to bowl to Mr Stringer the first batsman. Mr Stringer gave her a cheery smile as he finished his first run, having whacked Mr Parker’s ball quite far. Mr Stringer was quite the accomplished batsman and continued to strike the ball, sending it flying far, and making lots of runs. After each success, he looked towards Charlotte and she enjoyed the feeling of pride in his accomplishments and the thrill of his obvious regard for her being displayed publicly. Mr Sidney Parker would notice too, no doubt. That, Charlotte thought, would show him.   
When it came to the end of the innings the last batsman standing was of course Mr Stringer.   
As the teams exchanged, Mr Stringer went up to bowl. He was an even more impressive bowler than he had been batting. Quickly Mr Stringer had got most of the gentlemen out. Tom was last up. Mr Robinson seemed to have words with Tom, an altercation occurred “you haven’t paid us in weeks Mr Parker” rang out. Mary gasped. Tom, looking like thunder, left the pitch and the beach. Without Tom the gentlemen had to concede. Charlotte knew if the match finished now, all the town would talk about was Mr Robinson’s words. She had to do something. She had to distract them.   
“I can play.” She ran towards the wicket. The gentlemen all looked quite astonished, except for Mr Crowe, who loudly shouted “Bravo Miss Heywood.”  
Mr Parker walked towards her. Charlotte expected the worst. A telling off for being a silly girl, being told to go home, worst still being escorted home.   
“Are you sure?” He looked quite concerned.  
“Yes, I know what I’m doing.” Long summers spent playing cricket with her brothers, Charlotte was practised in the art of swinging a bat.   
“If you can’t hit the ball, don’t worry.”  
“I’ll be fine.”   
“I can tell you when to run.”  
“I know what I’m doing. You are putting me off.”  
“Alright then.” Mr Parker walked back to his end, looking briefly over his shoulder at her. He seemed, softer.  
But this was important. Mr Stringer was going to bowl to her and she needed her wits. This had to look good if the town was going to stop gossiping about Tom. Fortunately Mr Stringer bowled to her gently, underarm. Charlotte’s brothers would have laughed at him. They made no exceptions for their sisters and bowled as hard to them as they would to each other, taking no prisoners. Charlotte took her swing and whacked the ball way over the last fielder’s head, allowing her two good runs. Running past Sidney, Charlotte noticed a broad smile as they passed, his eyes fixed on her. It made her more nervous than she’d felt taking her place at the wicket.   
With only one more run to get, Charlotte looked towards Sidney. A small nod and smile was all she needed. It stilled her nerves. Charlotte hit the ball with all her might, and made the winning run.   
Ladies, Gentlemen, townsfolk and workers, all cheered. No one seemed to mind who won or lost. Tom’s disgrace forgotten.   
Sidney congratulated her warmly, his smile making Charlotte completely forget how annoyed she’d been at him that morning.  
“Mr Parker! I’ve lost her!”


	24. Sidney enjoys the cricket

Sidney arrived at the beach for the cricket. The townsfolk had gathered. Mary and Diana were laying out a wonderful spread, being helped by the ubiquitous Miss Heywood. Dressed in that light muslin dress she seemed to favour, it appeared so frequently, or maybe that was just in his dreams. Sheer and so fine, it allowed his imagination to discern what might be underneath. In a breeze, the outline of her thighs was clearly visible. Since she displayed only antipathy for him, he felt quite justified to observe her. It would do no harm, and give him a little sport. He took up a position close to Mary and waited for the teams to collect. From his spot he was able to enjoy the view of Miss Heywood’s dress caught in the breeze, with an occasional glimpse of ankle from the stronger gusts.   
He strode across the sand, towards her. It amused him to see her quickly turn and run from him. Not quite the opinionated young lady now. He smiled inwardly, a treacherous smirk visible on the outside.   
The gentlemen welcomed the workers. Stringer won the toss. That irked Sidney a little.   
As the gentlemen took their positions in the field, Sidney watched Stringer advance on Miss Heywood, slowly peeling off his coat as he spoke to her. Their heads dipped closer and they spoke quietly and laughed. Sidney heard her words to him.  
“Ask me again when I’ve seen you play.”  
He felt the familiar stabbing to his gut, he wanted to put it down to the breakfast of devilled kidneys and the remains of the port, but he knew all to well it was the cold stab of jealousy.   
Miss Heywood turned to Sidney “Good luck to you Mr Parker, though I imagine you don’t think you need it.”  
Sidney laughed. A clever little insult, disguised as a compliment from such an angelic face.   
He went up to bowl, facing Stringer. He needed to get him out. He shot a look towards Miss Heywood, to see her smiling at Stringer. Sidney’s stomach clenched.   
Stringer was more accomplished at batting than Sidney had expected. Sidney bowled faster and Stringer hit the ball harder and further each time. Sidney was finding it difficult to concentrate. He couldn’t stop himself looking across at Charlotte, and each time he did, she would be smiling at Stringer. Wasn’t this what he’d wanted? Why did it make him feel so lacking? His need to impress her was so strong.   
Eventually all workers were bowled out, expect for Stringer, despite Sidney’s best efforts. Change of innings.   
The workers took their places in the field. Sidney was first up to bat. He was a better batsman than bowler, so feeling confident he stepped up to the wicket. Stringer turned out to be an even better bowler. He seemed to take particular pleasure in bowling hard and fast directly into Sidney’s body. He considered if Stringer held some hostility towards him.   
Tom was the last gentleman to go into bat, but was bowled leg before wicket by Stringer almost on his first ball. A row ensued, “you haven’t paid us in weeks” rang out. Tom left rather rapidly. Sidney, embarrassed, was unable to stop him.

It hadn’t escaped Stringer’s attention that Parker had been regarding Miss Heywood in that manner he found so disrespectful. Like a wolf sizing up its prey. As she watched, smiling at Stringer, he noticed Parker glancing over, far too often and far too obviously for his liking. It made him determined to bowl faster.   
Tom was next to bat. Stringer’s anger at not being paid, the treatment of his men, his father’s accident, exploded from him and into a bowl of such ferocity the crowd gasped and Tom ducked to preserve his head. The next ball was more finely aimed and hit him firmly in the thigh. A shout of “out” and the row started. Angry words were spoken.   
“You haven’t paid us in weeks Mr Parker.”  
Sidney tried to calm things, but anger bubbled up, from somewhere not related to cricket and a flash of temper hit Sidney.  
“Don’t you dare speak to my brother like that!”  
Tom left.   
“You don’t have another batsman. We win.” Mr Stringer addressed him. Sidney couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Impudence maybe, irritation certainly.  
“I’ll play.” Miss Heywood was removing her Spencer and striding towards him. Sidney smiled inside. Of course she would, to protect Tom’s reputation, to distract the townsfolk after hearing Tom couldn’t pay the workers, to diffuse the animosity. His admiration for her grew, but he didn’t want her to look foolish just for the Parker name.   
“Are you sure? You don’t have to.”  
“I know what I’m doing.”  
“I’ll tell you when to run.”  
“I know when.”  
Sidney nodded. She undoubtedly did know what she was doing. She always seemed to.   
Stringer was mercifully easy with his bowling to Miss Heywood.   
With only a few runs to get, Sidney enjoyed the sight of Charlotte swinging her bat confidently, chasing towards him for their runs, as he encouraged her.   
She’d managed to surprise him again, just like her capability with Old Stringers leg. Here she was, a slip of a girl, playing cricket, running and batting like it was a daily occurrence. The admiration he’d felt for her on the day of the accident came flooding back to him.   
Mrs Griffiths came running.


	25. Mrs Griffiths’ Parlour

Perhaps Georgiana had just got bored at the cricket. She had not seemed that keen to attend. Sidney overreacted last time she had absconded, imagining she had been kidnapped. He tried to remain calm this time. But she wasn’t in her room.   
Sidney paced, unable to think. Miss Heywood came in, she seemed about to speak when Mrs Griffiths and Stringer entered.   
Stringer spoke first, Georgiana had been seen in town, a coach had approached and she had been taken by a man. It was exactly Sidney’s worst fear. Abducted for her fortune.   
“Was he black?” Miss Heywood asked.  
Sidney looked at her. Why ask that? Did she suspect Molyneux?  
Stringer wasn’t able to give any more detail, but seemed reluctant to leave. Sidney firmly asked Mrs Griffiths to show him out. He didn’t want Stringer around when he questioned Miss Heywood.  
Sidney turned, a thunderous look on his face.  
“You know something. Tell me.” Sidney was controlled, quiet. He stifled his emotions, he must hear what she had to say.   
“I’ve been acting as a go between for Georgiana and Otis. They were to meet today, during the cricket.” Her voice quavered.  
“What?” Sidney was a little reassured. Georgiana might be with Otis which would make it easier to track her down. But Miss Heywood had been the catalyst to this episode. A pain seared through him. He had trusted her and she had failed him.  
“I couldn’t bare to see her so unhappy. I was to accompany her. I’d never have let them meet alone, but the cricket...... I forgot.”  
“You forgot.” Sidney whispered the words, trying very hard to keep his fury but he could not.   
“YOU FORGOT?”  
Miss Heywood drew breath and continued “Georgiana was desperate. She couldn’t be stopped.”  
Sidney left the room, he couldn’t look at her, and he needed to get to London quickly.

James rushed to Mrs Griffiths lodgings. He had news he knew Parker needed, to save Miss Lambe. He had also seen Miss Heywood go inside and wanted to make sure she was safe.   
Parker paced the small parlour, while Miss Heywood looking frightened, stood to one side, suppressing sobs.   
He explained that men were seen taking Miss Lambe from the Square, and bundling her into a coach. He had no more details. James lingered, unwilling to leave. Parker looked murderous, Miss Heywood terrified. He wanted to stay to protect her. Parker looked capable of anything. After a moment Parker thanked him and directed Mrs Griffiths to show him out.   
How he hated Parker and his status. James knew he couldn’t confront him, take Miss Heywood out of the room with him, protect her from his temper once again. How impotent that made his feel, a lesser man. James promised himself he would not be answering to gentlemen the whole of his life. He would change his standing, he would be more than equal to any gentleman.   
He waited outside a moment, heard Parker shouting, heard Miss Heywood answer him clearly, sounding unafraid. There was nothing more he could do. 

Charlotte searched the Square. There was no sign of Georgiana. She knew she had to go back to Mrs Griffiths and explain all to Sidney. Oh Mr Parker. Just when they shared a smile at the match, and he seemed not to hold her in such contempt anymore. When she thought they could be friendly without anymore disagreements. Charlotte steeled herself. If the previous tongue lashings were anything to go by, this one would be far worse. At least this time she was prepared. She wouldn’t be caught off guard. Steadying her breathing, she stepped into the parlour like the fly to Mr Parker’s spider.   
“Mr Parker, I.” Mrs Griffiths rushed in, closely followed by Mr Stringer. They had news.  
“The men saw Miss Lambe bundled into a coach in the Square.” Mr Stringer looked as worried as Charlotte felt.   
How could this be? Why would Otis harm her, or take her? It made no sense. Charlotte’s head was spinning.  
Mr Stringer left the room, gently nodding to her as he left. It gave Charlotte courage.   
“You know something.” Mr Parker seemed calm.  
Charlotte explained everything, from the start, the letters, Georgiana’s heartbreak, the meeting, the cricket. She waited.  
Mr Parker, his face dark, spoke quietly, only shouted once, then departed. Charlotte had expected, and felt she deserved, to be torn to shreds for being in large part to blame for what had happened to Georgiana.  
Confused once again by Mr Sidney Parker, Charlotte made her rescue plan.


	26. Searching for Otis

Charlotte had failed to find Otis. Unsure of what to do, she walked and thought. London was treacherous and frightening and now she was lost with nowhere to go.   
Suddenly grabbed from behind, Charlotte knew she was fighting for her life. She bit into the fleshy hand that tried to silence her screams. Her attacker screamed louder as Charlotte broke the skin and tasted blood. She struggled free only to fall as her attacker stumbled, hit hard by another. Charlotte terrified, tried to run but was knocked to the ground as the man holding his bloodied hand escaped. Behind she saw a tall man barely visible, his dark clothes perfectly camouflaged against the night.   
“Are you alright?” The voice! So familiar, so welcome.  
“Mr Parker?” Charlotte was pulled to her feet and now in the light from a tiny window above, she could see Mr Sidney Parker. Sheer relief flooded her.  
“Miss Heywood?” He seemed astonished to find her.  
“What on Earth? Why are you here?”   
“I had to come. I had an address for Otis. I need to find her Mr Parker” Charlotte wanted to cry with relief. His presence, as with Mr Stringer’s accident, calmed her. Sidney Parker was here and everything would be alright.  
He seemed less than pleased with her.  
“What possessed Mary to allow you here?”  
Charlotte explained Mary had forbade her, so she took the coach and left a note.  
“And you came regardless?” he spoke kindly, but flabbergasted.   
Sidney indicated his coach to Charlotte. Charlotte resisted. Sending her to Tom was a waste of time, they had to search for Georgiana.  
“I think I know where we can find Otis, Mr Parker.”

Sidney alighted his carriage in the part of London he knew would best hide Otis and an abductee, and he knew exactly where to look for Otis. The owner of the Shoreditch gambling house knew he frequented a nearby Tavern and Sidney headed straight there.   
Down a darkened street he was aware of a woman being set upon by a man. Sidney saw the flash of a blade, jumped into action, felling the man with one blow to his spine, and a couple more blows to his guts to render him pained enough to be of no further threat. He turned to the woman. Sidney was aghast to find he was helping Miss Heywood to her feet. He could barely think of the words to ask her. How, what, why she was here?  
“Mary expressly forbade me to come, I took the coach, I have to find her, Mr Parker.”  
Sidney was aghast and overcome with regard for her bravery, her determination. But her stupidity could have got her killed. Sidney marched her to his carriage.  
“We cannot waste time Mr Parker. I think I know where Otis might be.” Sidney decided it would be wise to listen to her.  
They alighted close to a church hall in Whitechapel where they did indeed find Otis. But the evening took a turn for the worse.


	27. Back at Bedford Place

The events of yesterday weighed heavily on Charlotte. The places and things she had seen were troubling to say the least.   
She watched over Georgiana sleeping off her ordeal. Charlotte shuddered as she considered Georgiana could have been lost to them, forever. Her life sold. Charlotte’s own life saved by a man she could not fathom. Back in the comfortable safety of Bedford Place, Tom in situ, distracted but cheery, the events leading to this quiet moment disturbed Charlotte greatly.   
The cricket had been joyous and fun. Mr Sidney Parker seemed enlivened and amiable to the point of friendliness towards her. It was as much as she could hope for. This reserved and bothersome man had finally shown the chink in his armour.  
Then of course, the awfulness of confessing her part in Georgiana’s disappearance. His abject disapproval of her actions, taking his leave of her without comment. She utterly deserved his fury and she hadn’t received it.   
Charlotte could not dwell on what might have been if he hadn’t found her. The thought was too terrible. His reaction had not been what she could have expected. There was a softness to him she had not seen before, or it had not been there before. Watching him deal effortlessly with characters of a very dubious nature, race from London mastering horses at great speed, rescuing Georgiana, these were not actions of a man with tenderness in his heart. Or were they? He had sat beside her in the carriage. His leg had come to rest against hers. Perhaps from the perplexing nature of the circumstances they found themselves in, his normal gentlemanly manner was forgotten.  
He was discomforted at her shock, discovering his familiarity with the house of ill repute. She blushed as she remembered what she had seen.  
Sidney Parker’s whole personage seemed altered, certainly improved. Even more changed when it transpired he was responsible for paying off Otis’ debts.   
“A man should not be condemned for one terrible mistake.”  
Charlotte had always been so certain of her own judgment, but now she did not know what to think, about anything. She was beginning to realise she had been blinded by her sentiment and naivety. She felt she had got everything wrong or at least she had got everything about Mr Sidney Parker wrong. No wonder he had such a poor opinion of her.  
Sidney appeared at Charlotte’s door, hesitating to step into the room.  
“Tom has sent me to persuade you to come to the party tonight.”  
Charlotte gathered her thoughts. Now was the time she needed to apologise, for thinking Mr Parker held a prejudice against Otis, for her naivety, for, for everything. He stopped her.  
“I do not accept your apology.” Charlotte recoiled. Was another tongue lashing coming her way?   
“I should be the one apologising. I have done you a great discourtesy. I have underestimated you.” He looked so regretful as he delivered those words. With that, Sidney nodded and left her room, leaving Charlotte more confused than before.  
Her next visitor was Babbington’s younger sister, who had been charged with lending Charlotte a gown for the party. Celia Babbington arrived with a beautiful array of wonders. Charlotte had never seen such a shocking abundance of satin, and could not make a choice between them. Celia had the disposition of her brother in female form. Joyful, spirited and excited at the prospect of dressing Charlotte in her finery, Celia pressed Charlotte to choose her finest dress. It was gold, with a sheen that reflected in Charlotte’s eyes and lifted her complexion to serene. Charlotte was uncertain. Was not gold a colour for a more mature lady? Young ladies were seen in pale pastel gowns to highlight their youth and inexperience.   
“Charlotte”, Celia was not one to stand on formality where fashion and enjoyment were concerned “I shall dress you in my best gown because it’s looks so well on you, you are not seventeen and need not fear looking sophisticated and elegant.” Charlotte put herself into Celia’s expert hands. Her maid was commissioned to create as elegant a hair dressing as was suited to the gown and Celia left Bedford Place having made a new and very grateful friend.


	28. Mrs Maudsley’s Masked Ball

Charlotte descended the stairs of Bedford Place to be met by Sidney Parker in a gold waistcoat, the exact match to the dress she had been pressed to wear. Her hair was fashionably coifed and the gold dress stunning. Charlotte however felt unassured and hesitant. She searched Sidney’s face for reflection. Would she do? He remained inscrutable save for a small smile that crept up to his sparking eyes. Charlotte had only ever seen his dark brooding eyes on her, not these lights to his soul.   
Mrs Maudesley’s Party was well subscribed, hot and stuffy. Charlotte felt ill at ease but grateful for her mask to hide her disquiet. People moved around, the music was loud, any conversation quite impossible. Charlotte wished to return home to Georgiana.  
It seemed to rather amuse Sidney when Charlotte asked his permission to retire for the evening. When she remonstrated saying she felt disquieted he reassured her she was more than equal to any woman at the Ball. This sentiment said so tenderly, touched Charlotte’s heart. A sensation she had felt before returned to her. The warm sensation of completeness she had first felt after Mr Stringer’s accident when Sidney had said “you gave a good account of yourself”. Why was his opinion of her so important?   
At that moment Babbington appeared and Sidney was called away by Tom. Charlotte attempted small talk with Babbington, so as not to appear rude. He was caught up in his own thoughts when he asked her “can a lady’s opinion of a gentleman alter entirely in the space of one day?” The question echoed around in Charlotte’s head, and brought on a fierce swirl of emotions. It was true her opinion of Sidney Parker just yesterday was not what it was today. Her dismay at seeing him in the drawing room. Her relief on seeing him in London. Her joy at his smile as he took her arm this evening.   
She had loathed him, feared him, avoided him and disparaged him. She had behaved badly, chastised him, let him down and mocked him. He could hardly be expected to think well of her. And yet, the smile, the eyes. He had listened to her and acted upon her entreaties. When she had asked; despite full of temper, he had unhanded Otis and saved beating him.   
Charlotte found some air and a rather charming lady named Susan. They spoke of Sanditon, Georgiana, Mr Tom and the coming regatta, until kindly Susan asked “Charlotte, you seem somewhat befuddled.”  
Charlotte could not contain the thoughts that swooped in and out of her mind in a continuous contrary loop. She spoke slowly of Mr Sidney Parker, her anger towards him, her need for his good opinion, her confusion above all else.   
Susan spoke to reassure her “my dear, you are in love with him.”  
Charlotte startled, jumped to her feet “oh no if I were to fall in love it would not be a man like that.” But as she spoke those words, she could not discern if Sidney Parker was a man like ‘that’. Had he not proved himself to her, allowing Georgiana her proper parting from Otis. He had admitted underestimating her and expressed his opinion of her worth, more than equal to any woman there. Charlotte quite incredulous, let Susan’s pronouncement wash over her with the slow realisation it might well be correct. At that moment Sidney Parker appeared. He seemed a little impatient to dance and she allowed him to lead her away. Her senses now more bewildered than ever before.


	29. Sidney at the Ball

Sidney sat with a glass full whisky and a head full of despondency. Charlotte had refused her invitation to the ball. After her ordeal, he could not blame her. He wanted to be with her, needed her near. Hearing Tom talk of Mary and her lost trust in him, cleared Sidney’s mind. He would give anything for a wife like Mary. His Mary; was Charlotte. Beautiful, fearless, opinionated, brave, calm and spirited, kind, loyal and intelligent. She had disconcerted him, when she’d let him down, but her loyalty lay with Georgiana, not him. He’d found her well to look from that very first dance. The warmth of her near him stirred feelings he’d not allowed himself for so long. What a fool he had been for ten years, protecting the broken pieces of his heart instead of allowing in the light to heal. Had he loved her? Eliza. It was too long ago now to be certain. But he knew he loved Charlotte. She had seen the worst of him. The temper at the first ball, the humiliation in the street, threatening Otis with his life, the brothel. Sidney’s despondency grew. She must surely be lost to him. He had tried, so hard. Even before realising it, her words had taken effect. He had become more civil, almost without a mind to. He had listened, and encouraged by her appeals he had made efforts for improvement, with both Georgiana and Tom. But it must surely all be of no avail.   
Having persuaded her Tom wished her at the ball and sought out gowns through Baddington, Sidney comforted himself that perhaps there was still a some small chance of a favourable opinion.   
The vision of her, appeared before him, descending the stairs, serenely beautiful with a hesitancy that was utterly enchanting.   
The Ball was tiresome, but afforded him time with her, for some conversation although not substantial. Until Tom called him away and she disappeared from sight. Searching for her, Sidney heard ladies speaking in an outer chamber. He took a moment to listen.  
“It sounds to me that you are in love with him” an unknown genteel voice.  
“That cannot be. I would not fall in love with a man like THAT” Charlotte’s clear sweet voice cut him. He knew it to be true. She was too good and too pure to be enthralled by a man such as him.   
“You cannot help who you fall in love with. It is an affliction.” Sidney could hold back no longer and not wishing to allow Charlotte time to impart her insightful opinions on him to the genteel voice, he strode into the chamber.   
“Ah there you are.”  
The genteel lady spoke “Am I to assume you are Mr Sidney Parker? We were just discussing you.”  
Take aback by the lady’s frankness Sidney could merely mumble “err right.” He wanted to remove himself and Charlotte from the Lady’s interrogation smartly before things became more embarrassing.


	30. Dancing with Charlotte

He could see her hesitation and it was all he could do not to enfold her in his arms. He wanted more than anything to be close to her, to touch her and the dance would afford him that special intimacy he craved. He took her hands in his, such a perfect fit, so warm, the gentle hold of her fingers around his, made his breath catch. His eyes fixed on hers, he saw her come to trust him so close, and he moved to hold her small waist virtually captured in his hand. He drew her to him unable to stop himself, her nearness was intoxicating. Slowly they relaxed together, the music took them. He was himself, his best self in this moment with her. He could love, he did love, and in Charlotte he felt he could trust his heart. The years of pain fell away. This confounding girl was all and everything. She held his power and gave him strength.  
All too soon the dance ended, her face so close he could almost touch her, would have touched her, but for the sense of Charlotte stepping from him and remembering they were not alone.   
Sidney felt suddenly draw to look towards the steps, a long forgotten instinct gripped him, and as he torn his eyes from Charlotte, there at the entrance stood Eliza.   
His heart stopped, his head swam, his stomach knotted, his legs grew weak. There she stood, unchanged by time. Elegant, beautiful, perfect and aloof. She motioned to him with a whisper light smile and he felt the pull of her once again.  
His mind a blank, his legs somehow carrying him towards her through the throng, he found himself before her and he spoke her name.  
She turned to him “Sidney.” Their eyes met and the room around Sidney swam.   
The conversation was polite, stilted after so many years. Sidney desperate to know everything of her life since their time together, but fearful of what he might learn. Eliza seemed most happy to share and her laughter rang out, almost a little too loudly.  
“Are there children?”  
“Sadly we were not blessed. Mr Campion was in poor health. The disruption of children would have been a nuisance to him, and a tedium for me.” She spoke of her departed husband with a coolness Sidney found chilling, but dismissed it as a way of hiding her grief.  
“Are you to reside in London?” Sidney hoped she would be close.  
“Why yes! Mr Campion was barely cold in his grave when I shut up the estate and moved all the good servants to the London House. I’m staying at Claridge’s for the moment. The house is desperately in need of updating. It still has all the furniture from his first marriage, imagine that!” The tinkling laugh he so adored, sounded incongruous to him now.   
“Have you been in London for some time?” Sidney imagined a grieving period of about a year would be respectful before Eliza would be seen to publicly socialise again.  
“A matter of two weeks. I’ve been exiled in the country for so long, I couldn’t bare it a single moment longer. Fortunately Mrs Maudesley sent an invitation for this evening. I have so many friends to meet. It feels just like coming out all over again!” Her joy disquieted Sidney. Here was a widow of barely three weeks, joyful at the thought of the unfolding London season. But grief did strange things to people, so he could not think badly of her.   
“What of you, Sidney? Married?” Sidney blushed, suddenly ashamed to admit he hadn’t allowed himself that joy, because of her.  
“And your family, well I hope, not still chasing silly plans of developing that dreary fishing village?”  
Sidney’s blood rose, but he was improved, he held his annoyance at her disparaging remark.  
“Sandtown, blandtown or something wasn’t it?” She laughed, again too loudly. Her sarcasm hurt him, and then the memory. Her sarcasm had hurt so many times. He’d thought she was clever, witty to make the asides she had, but even as a young man the fallen faces of her victims had pained him. Young ladies hung on her every word. Her pronouncements on their looks and fashion, had broken their tender spirits. How could he have forgotten?  
“Are you here alone?”. Her eyes narrowed “or did you accompany someone?”  
“Here with Tom, it’s work really” he lied.   
“Not Crowe? That drunkard, I imagine he’s been found dead in a ditch by now.” The tinkling laughter, was starting to grate in Sidney’s ears, much like the sound of breaking glass.   
“Mr Crowe is indeed here, still living.” Sidney could feel his voice hardening, a tone he hadn’t heard for several weeks.   
He felt the need for wine.  
They danced together just as they had some ten years previously. Eliza moved gracefully, light on her feet, perfect in every step, but stiffly held, her finger tips barely placed on his shoulder, her hand limp in his. Sidney considered how he could have danced with any lady present and felt the same, felt nothing. Her perfume and powders a sweet scent that was overpowering and not entirely pleasant. He felt himself pull away from her a fraction.   
But the years fell away and he was seventeen again, holding the most beautiful creature in the room, all eyes on the couple as they moved about the room. Sidney felt his young self healed, but his older self felt lost. Had it been love, was it still love? Sidney felt very strangely ill at ease, desperate for the happiness he had felt just a hour previous. It must be the shock of meeting her like this, without warning.  
The end of the evening came, Sidney felt relief to be in a carriage on his way back to Bedford Place. He was tired, wearied by the tumultuous emotions of the night. In his dreams he had often met Eliza again, but the reality of the encounter left him wanting. He felt empty.

The Next Day  
Sidney heard Charlotte and Tom prepare to leave the house. He remained in his chambers, unable to face her. At the sight of Eliza, he had forgotten her. He’d forgot. Charlotte, the girl who had prised open his heart, brought him back to life, able to feel, wanting to love. And he hadn’t given her a second glance, hadn’t seen her leave the party, hadn’t said goodnight. What an uncouth fool he had been.  
He couldn’t face her now. How could he explain. Eliza was back and it was meant to be. It was always meant. He would forget Charlotte.


	31. Return to Sanditon

On the long carriage ride back to Sanditon Charlotte was silent. Georgiana slept and Tom reviewed new plans.   
Charlotte stared out of the carriage window not seeing the views flashing past her. Sidney consumed her thoughts.   
He’d wanted only to dance with her. He held her hands so tenderly. His grip on her waist was less tender. It felt like he held her very soul in his grasp and she could give herself up to his strength. His eyes had not left hers for a single second. As she danced with him it was as though no other person existed, only Sidney. The music lifted and carried them, as they twirled together, never moving far apart. Charlotte’s senses overwhelmed by his strength and passion. She felt he might kiss her, their faces almost touching. But the music had ended. She recovered herself and gave a deep slow curtsy still holding his eyes with hers. But the perfect spell had been broken.   
The moment came that he departed without a backwards glance and took his place at the side of a stunning woman Charlotte came to understand was the infamous Eliza. A hot searing pain shot through Charlotte’s stomach as she replayed the image of them together, reunited in their love. In one night, one dance, Charlotte had loved and lost him. If only she had not learned what her feelings had meant. Blissful seemed the confused ignorance she had felt. Should love be this painful? The most terrible hurt, unspoken, secret, hidden, and shameful. Ten years of his life waiting for the moment she returned to him, and it was the moment Charlotte had fallen in love with him.   
Charlotte wanted love that brought joy and laughter, not this misery. She could never speak of it. The shame of falling for a man who was spoken for, in love with a woman all of his adult life. He could have no interest in her. Eliza was back and had claimed her property, his heart. He had always been hers.  
Charlotte considered her heart, torn into tiny pieces. It would mend. She would learn how to protect it. She would give her heart again to one that could love her back. But for now she would have to hold firm, show no one the hurt, especially Sidney. In time his joy at the refound love would comfort her. His happiness meant so much, and would bring her some semblance of relief. Sidney would be healed, the man he once was, before the betrayal. Charlotte felt sure other Parkers would rejoice in the return of Sidney’s true love. Mary had wanted him settled. Tom wanted the brother back he had lost. Eliza’s return would bring rejoicing to many. Charlotte contemplated her misery; she would bare it silently.  
By the time they reached Sanditon, Charlotte had fixed her resolve. Mr Sidney Parker was a friend, and she was happy for him to be back beside his one great love. How she felt was of no matter.  
Over the days, Charlotte busied herself with visits to Georgiana and playing with the children. There was lots to prepare of the Regatta too. She missed her daily visits to the terrace, but her heart could not see the happiness in Mr Stringer’s face greeting her. She understood more now. His open smile at seeing her was not something she could return. It was easier to stay away.   
M


	32. Sidney Returns to Sanditon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (For this episode I must apologise. Men are men, and often found wanting)

Sidney met Eliza for luncheon. She spoke unendingly of the modernisation of Berkeley Square, the party invitations she had received since arriving back in town, the new high society friends she had met, and her order of dresses for the season. Sidney found his wine glass more interesting, and struggled to suppress a yawn. She may have been beautiful, but he did not recollect her being this dull.   
“So tell me about Sanditown?” Sidney’s eyes almost rolled, but he forced his mouth into a smile.  
“You really must visit, Tom has done wonders and we are holding our first Regatta.”  
Sidney wanted to take her away from London. Take London out of her, go back in time, when she was just Eliza and they laughed together as they walked the cliff tops. Now Eliza was influential, he also could not pass up a chance for the promotion of Sanditon, even if it meant sharing her with his family.   
“I’ll have my carriage take us Sidney, so you can entertain me on the journey, otherwise it will be far too tedious.”  
It was slowly dawning on Sidney, that in just over the course of one day his feelings for Eliza had altered. He was no longer his seventeen year old self. Whatever charms she possessed, they seemed less enticing now. Perfect white teeth, shiny golden hair, slender tall frame, he felt like he was appraising a horse at Ascot. Was it worth a bet, would it win the race? He concentrated on her conversation, she was bound to be witty and amusing as he remembered her, but no, she was vacuous and at times unkind.   
They visited her Berkeley Square home. Shut up for years, during Mr Campion’s illness, it felt more like a dusty mausoleum than a happy home. Sidney could feel some of the torment of her life with Mr Campion and he felt sorry for her. She too had given up their happiness, and suffered for it. Fortunately now they had their chance to live with the joy they had experienced in their youth. To make up for the lost time apart, to heal the last ten years. He dismissed the strange feeling of loss deep in the pit of his stomach.   
As they travelled back to Sanditon, Sidney’s thoughts turned to Charlotte.  
She must certainly think badly of him. He hadn’t seen her since the dance, when he’d felt like he could burst with joy and pride at being close to her. She would have seen him with Eliza, he was certain. What must she have thought? It pained him to realise he had been such a rogue. His behaviour at the ball had been very much less than perfect. He knew too well the effects of the Sidney charm, usually dispensed without thought, and resulting in heartsick young ladies writing him notes and sending scented handkerchiefs. He had the wherewithal to disappear from their lives, hiding out in the country estates of friends, indulging in hunting and fishing until he was forgotten. Had he enchanted Charlotte? She had certainly bewitched him. He had wanted her good opinion, not her beguiled devotion to a charm so insincere and easily dealt that he felt only disdain for those he mesmerised with it. He’d held her close, too close, all his attention had been for her. They danced slowly and he’d held her too long. This won’t have gone unnoticed among the beau monde.   
He resolved to do better. Charlotte was a lady, refined of feelings, with a touching naivety. He must take absolute care with her. She thought him insensitive to feeling and his brutish ways had hurt her. He would retreat from her, provide her time to forget him.  
Sidney hoped to avoid Charlotte but his senses missed her, and unsurprisingly she popped up quite expectedly. Calling on Georgiana he found Charlotte visiting her also.   
“Ah Miss Heywood, I wonder if I might wait for you?” She was reserved, careful, keeping her distance from him and her face quite neutral, impossible to read. The smile he cherished was not visible, instead there was a guarded, wary look in her eyes that saddened him. Meeting like this afforded him the chance of speaking with her and making his position clear.  
Sidney walked alongside Charlotte. Despite their differing strides, they fell into step with each other naturally. He remembered the comfort of feeling her close to him, the peace that she brought to his soul.   
Charlotte spoke gently “We must be patient with Georgiana. You know how sharp the agony of separation can be.” Sidney flinched, he had missed Charlotte, he wondered if was she missing him. He could only agree.  
“Yes, I suspect you are right. But fate has a strange way of surprising even the most jaded amongst us.” Fate should be hung for what it had done to him. Eliza and Charlotte, he hadn’t asked for this. Being close to her again lifted his spirits.   
She turned her beautiful face up to look at him “You are not nearly so unfeeling as you pretend.”   
Sidney was happy to see the light return to her eyes and felt the need to tease just a little.  
“I’d ask you to keep that to yourself, I have a reputation to uphold.” Charlotte had identified him as insensitive of feeling. How he wished he really was.   
Sidney was glad to have had a substantial conversation with Charlotte. They parted amicably and he went to find Eliza.


	33. A Short Walk with Sidney

Charlotte knew the time she would come across Sidney Parker would come soon enough. It happened to be as she visited Georgiana. He appeared from her room. Charlotte had practised this moment in her head since returning from London. Her heart stalled as she saw him but her face remained impervious.  
“Ah, Miss Heywood, would you mind if I wait for you?” Charlotte wondered what he could possibly want from her. She hoped she managed a breezy and indifferent reply.  
“No, not at all.” The thought of him waiting, overshadowed her visit and she left Georgiana rather sooner than she wished. They walked back together, talking of Georgiana, with an uneasy tension.  
“You must be patient with her, Mr Parker. Well, you know how sharp the agony of separation can be.” She didn’t mean to say it, it slipped from her lips before she could stop. She promised herself he would never know of her misery. Luckily he seemed caught up in his own thoughts and answered absentmindedly .  
“Yes, I expect you are right. Although fate has a strange way of surprising even the most jaded amongst us.” Indeed fate had gifted him Eliza. Charlotte smiled. He was happy, that made her feel slightly better.  
“You are not so unfeeling as you like to pretend.”  
“If that is the case, I’d ask you to keep it to yourself. I have my reputation to uphold.” Charlotte enjoyed this much improved jovial Sidney. For the briefest of moments the spectre of Eliza was forgotten.  
Later at Trafalgar House, hearing the children’s excited cries as Sidney appeared, only this time sensing another presence, Charlotte hung back in the shadows of the hall. She heard his laugh, a rare sound to Charlotte. Such was his contentment with Eliza that it was now more freely given. From where she stood she could see Tom and Mary warmly greeting her, Eliza, like a long lost relative. Charlotte was right. They were quite delighted to see her. Even the children were beside themselves with excitement at this new visitor.   
Eliza stood beside Sidney, happy, smiling, comfortable and at ease, her arm entwined with purpose about his, claiming her property. She looked for all the world like she belonged by his side, and he, hers in return. They certainly made a handsome couple. Charlotte looked at Sidney, his beautiful face relaxed and smiling, almost serene, until he noticed her. As their eyes met, his face fell, his jaw clenched almost imperceptibly, his eyes dipped and he turned away from her, the smile only returning to his face as his eyes swept over Eliza. He could no longer meet her gaze, preferred not to look at her. Charlotte felt dismissed, and of all the times he’d made her feel like that, this was the most painful. She knew now she meant nothing, the dance had been merely a dance, and her immature musings on how close they had felt, how attentive he’d been, the glow in his eyes she took for regard, had been nothing more than a reflection of the candles and too much wine. 

The time had come to properly reintroduce Eliza to Tom and Mary. Sidney knew it was a futile hope to expect Charlotte to be elsewhere. He had walked her back to the house some time earlier. But he hoped that perhaps she was at the terrace smiling warmly at Stringer, so he wouldn’t have to see her. The thought of her disturbed him. Her fresh sweetness, her calm demeanour, no empty small talk, just the stillness that overcame his soul when he was close to her. He couldn’t understand it but being near her felt like coming home from a storm.  
Eliza was excited to see Mary again and Sidney felt his pride swell in his chest as he introduced her to Tom. The children rushed up to him, throwing themselves at him to catch and he noticed Eliza recoil from them. She was possibly not used to children and their boisterous ways. Sidney’s happy family welcome was exactly as he expected, everyone full of joy for him and Eliza. Then he noticed Charlotte. She stood back in the shadows of the hall, not wishing to be seen, but he could not help but notice the hurt in her eyes. Looking into them Sidney felt the pain of loss too. They shared a moment until he could no longer stand it. This wonderful spirit of kindness and love was in pain, because of him. He looked at Eliza beside him and forced a smile on his lips.


	34. Eliza’s Luncheon

In order to welcome Eliza back into the Parker family, Mary decided to give a luncheon in her honour. She took Charlotte to one side.  
“May I assume you would prefer not to attend a dreary family luncheon? I can arrange for a picnic at the beach for you, Georgiana and the Miss’s Beauforts. Hodges will bring the chairs and parasols so it will be a civilised affair. No need to eat on the ground like savages. Be sure to invite Mrs Griffiths along with you.”  
Charlotte was quite relieved. The less time spent with Sidney the better, and anytime at all spent near Eliza, the idea made her feel nauseous. And what could be better than a day by the sea in the sunshine.  
Mary, Tom, Sidney and the children sat in the dining room. Eliza arrived late for luncheon, swept into the dining room rather grandly, apologising profusely.  
“I’m so sorry to be late, Mary, Tom, do forgive me. I was held up in town at a dress fitting for the Regatta tomorrow. The wretched seamstress seemed to know nothing of fine French styling. If Sanditon is to become fashionable, the quality of tailoring will have to be much improved.”  
Almost everything Eliza said was accompanied by her tinkling laughter, as if saying something unkind was immediately rendered inoffensive. Not for the first time Sidney cringed at her words and reached for wine. His drinking had rather increased since Eliza’s arrival. He put it down to needing to blot out the memory of sweet Charlotte as he adjusted to life with Eliza. Things would improve soon.   
Eliza continued “How very quaint of you to eat with the children, Mary. Do they not have a nurse to eat with in their rooms?”   
Sidney noticed a frostiness in Mary’s reply.   
“We enjoy the children’s company Eliza. Tom works so hard he doesn’t have enough time with them.” Mary looked at her coolly and Sidney saw a strange look come over Eliza’s face, a pinched tightness he had never noticed before.  
“So Tom, you are working too hard and neglecting your family. I’m sure you wish you never started your Sanditon folly.” Tinkling, grating laugher.   
Sidney spoke slowly and coldly.  
“That is enough Eliza. Do not take it upon yourself to criticise. Tom is expending his energy to make a difference, leave his mark, make Sanditon a better place. What is the better way to live? Expending your energy buying dresses and going to parties or making the world a better place?”  
Momentarily Eliza looked startled, but the sickly sweet smile was soon on her face again.  
“Oh pay no mind to me Sidney dearest, I am the last person to criticise any man’s endeavours. I have no idea of betterment, I merely pay people to do things for me. It is all I can do to dress in the morning.”   
Tom decided it would be prudent to change the subject.  
“Now Eliza, you really must enjoy the delights of Sanditon during your visit. I suggest a sea bathing party this very afternoon.”  
Eliza looked more startled.   
“Gracious no! If I wanted to go sea bathing I’d go to Brighton, at least there I could be assured to be seen by the right people.”  
Tom seemed immune to her insult, Sidney squirmed in his seat, she was becoming really quite intolerable.  
Mary continued.  
“Perhaps we can persuade you to stay a few more days then, so you can fully enjoy the air.”  
“Oh I’d love to Mary, but I’m already missed in London. Lady Rothermere was quite upset when I had to turn down her invitation to a soirée, for your little Regatta. And I’m missing high tea with the Duchess of Gloucester. They all rely on me so, their events are much too dreary when I am not there.”  
“What a terrible pity you have to leave so soon, we will miss your wit and sunny disposition.” Mary spoke through gritted teeth. Sidney had never heard sarcasm from her before, and snorted into his wine, trying to suppress a laugh.  
“Really Sidney! Your manners have not improved. That will not do. If you are to accompany me, I will expect better.” Eliza followed with a sickly sweet smile and a grating laugh, looking around the table for approval.   
Henry flicked a pea at her. Eliza continued.  
“Mary, we must get you away from Sanditon, it has made you look quite dowdy. Come to London with me. We can fit you out in some new bright dresses and enjoy some lively company. I’m sure Tom and the children can spare you for a few days?”  
Tom, always wanting to please, agreed it sounded like a wonderful idea. Mary shot him a look of absolute contempt. She couldn’t imagine anything worse.   
The children were getting bored trying to behave at the table, so Tom suggested a cliff walk to aid digestion. They walked along the beautiful cliffs and stood to take in the views.   
“Oh I remember this so well Sidney. The sea, the sky, it’s not changed at all. It’s still all so unutterably dreary.” Eliza’s words seem to hang on the breeze. There was a long uncomfortable silence, as they turned back to go home.   
Tom and Mary walked in front, their arms loosely entwined, their steps exactly matched, they seemed to move as one. By contrast Eliza gripped Sidney’s arm, her stride in opposition to his which meant they bumped shoulders and hips uncomfortably as they walked and he felt like he was almost dragging her along. They slowed down. He wanted some time with her alone.   
“We will stay a little longer, to catch the sunset.” Sidney shouted to Tom, more cheerfully than he felt. “Go without us.”  
He turned to Eliza.  
“I was hoping to spend some time with you alone.”  
The girl he remembered turned to him, looked into his eyes.  
“You were?”  
He moved closer, he so wanted to kiss her.   
“Ch...Eliza” Sidney turned puce, there was nothing for it now, he had to kiss her quickly before she realised he’d almost called her by another name. He moved in too quickly, they bumped noses, and foreheads, Eliza squealed “Ouch” and stepped back.   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry that was clumsy. Are you alright?”  
Eliza was holding her face, looking shocked.   
“Really Sidney you have not improved at all. Has ten years taught you nothing?” They looked at each other, and Eliza began to laugh.  
“Oh Sidney I’d completely forgotten what a clumsy oaf you are. Please try and kiss me again.”  
This time his lips reached for hers tenderly. They felt thin and cold. From the sea breeze whipping up over the cliffs he decided. He continued, his lips searching for warmth and softness. He gently pulled her lower lip into his, and he felt her stiffen and pull away.   
“Yes, thank you dearest, that was lovely.” He felt like a boy being thanked by his maiden aunt.   
They walked on. Had Eliza held him as they kissed? He couldn’t remember feeling her arms around him. Just the cold firm touch of her lips against his, unmoving, and unfeeling.


	35. Eliza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little aside, which gives us an insight into Eliza and her background

Eliza Deschamps came to London for the season at the age of seventeen. She had been in Paris for many years completing her education.  
Her father Sir Arthur Deschamps was a landowner of reasonable wealth and social standing.   
Arthur had married Olivia Potterton. His superior position in the military enabled a good match for both families. Olivia Potterton, eldest daughter of Sir and Lady Potterton, had a keen interest in horses and very little else. Their marriage settlement supported a comfortable but not extravagant living, and Arthur took to pursuing his interests outside of the home. He was a great shot and his shooting parties were the highlight of the locality. He enjoyed racing and parties, was quite the wit and very gregarious.   
Lady Olivia, had not intended to marry, but her father had decreed it. Rather than attempt a happy union, Olivia spent her time with her horses and treated her husband with sour faced contempt.   
A year into their marriage Sir Arthur fell in love with Olivia’s Lady’s maid. Clarissa was a beautiful girl of fine features and golden hair. Her breathtaking smile captured Arthur’s heart. It was not long before she was with child. The scandal could have finished Sir Arthur, but undaunted he forged a clandestine agreement with Olivia. The child would be raised as their own, with Clarissa as nurse and governess. They had long agreed their marriage would not be consummated and Olivia had no interest in raising children, so to avoid any scandal she agreed.   
Clarissa was quickly married to Thornton the gardener, and installed in a cottage in the grounds.   
Her confinement passed without note. By happy coincidence Lady Olivia took to her bed with a fever and remained in her chambers for several months during this time.   
Before the child’s arrival, it was not a difficultly to ensure Clarissa was attended in the main house by a midwife sought from some miles away. And so it was that baby Eliza came to be born to Sir Arthur Deschamps and Lady Olivia.   
Eliza was a bewitching child, with the brightest blue eyes and golden hair. She was adored by her governess Thornton, and by her father. She rarely met her mother.   
It was a most unfortunate riding accident during the local hunt that ended her doting father’s life, when Eliza was just six years old. Overnight Eliza’s life was changed. Her governess Thornton no longer attended her and a succession of distant governesses followed until Eliza was taken to France to be brought up in a convent. She remained there until she was sixteen, when she was recalled to England to live with her mother, a woman she could not remember.   
Olivia held no great resentment against Eliza. She was just of little interest nor entertainment. Similarly Eliza found she had little regard for her mother. She had been brought up by many women, with varying degrees of care, and Eliza had learned that to care for herself was of much more value.   
Olivia allowed her a small income and with that Eliza contemplated her future. Well aware of her superior looks, her slender neck and enchanting smile, Eliza decided a small income would not do.   
She embarked on her first season with military precision. Her education in France had afforded her impeccable style, excellent dance tuition, grace and wit. She moved through the party throngs with charming detachment, careful not to draw the eye of anyone unsuitable. She cultivated the friendships of the titled ladies enchanted by her gracious flattery and sought to accompany them to more and more fashionable and splendid gatherings.  
It was at a summer garden party of Lord and Lady Babbington that her eye was impossibly drawn to a young man of magnificent features. Not at all the prize Eliza sought, but the chatter of ladies around him peaked her competitive spirit. By the end of the evening he was enslaved.


	36. Charlotte's Regatta

Charlotte was woken early by the children, who were quite over excited by the thought of the sandcastle competition. She promised Mary she would take them down to the beach, while she and Tom got ready for the Regatta.  
The town was certainly busier than usual as Charlotte and the children ran through the streets to get to the beach first. They set about making the biggest and best sandcastle they could. Charlotte sat on the sand with them, taking directions from Jenny. She counselled herself on the likelihood of running into Sidney Parker. Unfortunately he appeared almost immediately, with Eliza positioned at his side, with a grip on his arm. They seemed deep in conversation, Eliza’s laugh ringing out and Sidney with that half smile, she had seen so often when he was talking with Tom. They looked for all the world a perfect couple. They approached. Sidney no doubt wanting to speak to his nieces and nephew. Planting his cane firmly in the sand he spoke directly to her.  
“Miss Heywood, a fine construction.” Charlotte dearly wished she wasn’t sitting on the sand with Sidney towering over her. She felt young, foolish and insignificant. At least he had smiled kindly down to her. Sidney played with the children for a few moments while Eliza gazed around looking bored. Then turning to Charlotte with a strange smile, more like baring her teeth, Eliza said “well done children.”  
Charlotte felt diminished and inconsequential. Eliza had obviously included her in the “children” comment. She really didn’t seem at all pleasant. But Sidney looked happy. Charlotte watched them walk together in the direction of the bathing machines.

Sidney’s Regatta

Sidney woke, not quite ready for the day. Babbington and Crowe had arrived the previous evening and Sidney had spent the entire time with them, trying to extinguish the gnawing ache in the pit of his stomach. Feeling quite unwell, Sidney opened the window and looked down at the Square from his rooms at the Crowne. As he gulped in the fresh sea breeze, he was greeted by the sight of Charlotte running, skirt hitched up, hair loose and flying, surrounded by mini Parker’s, all quite abandoned to the excitement of the day. A wave of happiness passed over him briefly, until he remembered she was not his. The next wave of nausea washed away any remaining traces of happiness. He’d remembered he was to breakfast with Eliza. He closed his eyes, drew some deep breaths and tried to remove the vision of Charlotte from his eyes.   
At breakfast, Eliza viewed him coldly. “You are looking tired dearest. I hope you slept well?”  
Babbington appeared.   
“Slept? Sidney is not one for sleep when there is port to be drunk.” With that he slapped Sidney on the back, which jarred poor Sidney’s aching head.  
“Mind if I join you.” It wasn’t a question, as he had already sat down.  
Eliza tolerated Babbington, for the only reason that he was a peer of the realm and acquainted with the Prince Regent. Eliza was ever hopeful of a Royal Garden Party invitation. She liked to tease Lord B, her name for him, which Sidney found rather ingratiating.   
“Lord B, how delightful. Now tell me, how goes your search for a lovely young Lady B?”  
“I’ve rather given up that hunt. It was a futile pursuit.” His normally happy features clouded, a sad tone to his voice.  
Eliza continued, oblivious to his discomfort.   
“Well you can leave that all to me. I know of several young ladies who will suit you most well. We will have you wed by Michaelmas.” Eliza patted Babbington’s hand in a most condescending manner. Sidney flushed with embarrassment and wished she would stop talking. Fortunately breakfast was a short affair.  
Sidney escorted Eliza to the beach. While he was beginning to feel uneasy at the thought of being reunited with her as his beau, there was still the matter of the promotion of Sanditon.   
Eliza regaled him with stories of other, far grander regattas she had attended, clippers in Venice, stallions in Rome. Sidney felt it was with a mind to belittle Tom’s efforts with the Sanditon regatta. But perhaps he was being unkind. She may just have been trying to be entertain and amuse. It was what ladies in her position did. Speak amusingly about matters of little consequence.   
They arrived at the Sandcastle competition and found the children all engrossed in an elaborate construction of piers and pillars. In the middle of it all, Charlotte was sitting on the sand, passing spades and buckets, as engrossed as the children. It made a charming sight. Sidney hugged the children, wished them luck with the competition and bowed to Miss Heywood. Eliza had seemed a little disinterested, but she might have other things on her mind. She looked absentmindedly at the scene and said “well done children” rather unenthusiastically.   
As they walked away Eliza continued.  
“It is very generous of Mary to allow the maid a day off”. Sidney wasn’t sure to what she was referring.  
“Maid?”  
“Yes, that sweet little thing, playing with the children. Mary’s maid?”  
Sidney choked back his displeasure. “  
That is Miss Heywood. Tom and Mary’s house guest.”  
“Ah, so she helps with the children? A governess?”  
Sidney thought of Charlotte. She had received the very worst of him. He had behaved disgracefully. She had withstood his temper and more than matched it. She had shown him his behaviour was severely wanting. He had learned from her. Charlotte had accepted him with all his faults and she had seen his darkest self.  
And now Eliza, was testing his patience, her quite vile tongue in need of checking. But Sidney was no longer the Sidney that would have exploded with rage at a lady for such rudeness. He was a better man, and the person least deserving of his betterment was benefitting from it. He couldn’t have been the man he was now, without Charlotte. She had been the one to bring him back to his senses. Sidney held his tongue.   
They walked down to the river, where the town and all its guests had convened for the Regatta. With much of London emptied to visit Sanditon, Eliza welcomed some of her many friends. Sidney took the opportunity to escape and found Crowe.   
“Sidney, what of the delightful Eliza, not lost her again?” Sidney was very aware of his animosity towards Eliza. He chuckled at Crowe’s enunciation of de-light-ful, making it sound anything but.   
“And Miss Heywood? Where might she be?” There was a teasing glint in Crowe’s eye, Sidney did not care for. He considered punching him, but not in polite company. He settled for a glare.   
“Eliza is speaking with friends. Somewhere.”  
Crowe was rather on form. He pointed Sidney in the direction of Eliza in a close tete a tete with the Earl of Chichester. A tall fine looking gentleman with hair the colour of ripe corn, a stiffly held demeanour and piercing blue eyes.  
“Twins, separated a birth.” He slurred. Sidney could not suppress a guffaw. Despite Crowe’s wit, or perhaps because of it, Sidney felt the familiar cramp of his stomach. He knew the Earl of Chichester, Oliver, from school. They did seem to be having a rather substantial conversation.


	37. The Rowing

Charlotte busied herself at the rowing start line. There was a little more than an hour until the race. She was enjoying the peace and solitude when Sidney arrived. He removed his coat and hat and stood before her.  
“Well Miss Heywood, do I look ready to you?” Charlotte really hadn’t wanted to look closely at Sidney, but he seemed to be demanding that of her now. It felt cruel, or mocking. She didn’t understand what he meant by ‘ready’ either. Ready for what exactly? Ready to hold her, because that’s how it looked, or ready to... No, she couldn’t think about Eliza. His outstretched arms seemed to call to her. She wanted to rush into them and feel his hard chest, and his arms folding around her. But she knew he was merely asking if she thought he’d make a good show at the rowing.   
Charlotte helped move the oars into the boat.  
“A man cannot step into the same river twice.” Sidney looked towards her. Charlotte knew the quote and finished it.  
“For he is not the same man and it is not the same river.” For a brief second Charlotte considered if he might have been thinking of Eliza, but that couldn’t be. He smiled almost shyly at her.   
“Of course you’d know that.” Charlotte felt her heart swell, but she didn’t want it. From the boat, Sidney stretched out his hand towards her, he was looking away as she recoiled a little. She had felt his fingers touch hers on the oars. The touch of him thrilled her, but she didn’t want that thrill. Charlotte’s emotions spilled from her, despite her best efforts to control them. She wanted none of Sidney Parker.   
“I need a second person to balance the boat, would you mind.” The last thing Charlotte wanted was to be alone with him in a small rowing boat. She wanted to run, as she had when he’d emerged from the sea, run and keep running until he was out of her sight.   
But he stood there insistent, and irresistible. Charlotte could not refuse him. She took his out stretched hand and jumped into the boat. It was a clumsy jump as her knees were trembling from his nearness. His hand held her’s tightly, his arm steadied her at the waist, for a moment it felt like the embrace when they had danced.  
“Sit down behind you.” Finally he let her go.   
Charlotte sat uncomfortably close to him, she turned herself to one side to avoid looking directly at him, wishing she’d been able to resist his request to join him.  
“May I ask you something Miss Heywood?” He seemed a little lost and sad. Such a different countenance to the dance, when he’d smiled and seemed happy to be close to her.   
“Why is it when I finally have a chance of happiness, I cannot accept the fact.”   
Charlotte was a little confused. Sidney continued.  
“I had convinced myself I would remain alone. I was ill suited for matrimony.” Charlotte still unsure but with an opinion to give.  
“I don’t believe anyone is truly unsuited to marriage, not even you. I suppose it’s just a question of compatibility.” Sidney chuckled, and Charlotte felt herself relax.  
His face became wistful and distracted.   
“Yes I suppose you are right.” He continued his rowing while Charlotte tried her best not to watch him, and considered his words. He finally had a chance of happiness, with Eliza, but couldn’t accept it. Perhaps the enormity of finally getting his heart’s desire was too much. He had decided against marriage because of his heart break and now he had to reconsider that decision. Charlotte concluded he must be thinking of asking for Eliza’s hand. She felt empty and detached, utterly emotionless, and very grateful for that feeling.  
Sidney took up her hands, wrapping his over them around the oars, guiding her in the movement of the pull. Unable to turn away from him now, she was facing him directly. With each pull of the oars, he moved towards her, and with each roll, she moved towards him. It was just like the dance without music, but instead the gentle swaying of the boat. Avoiding his gaze was futile, Charlotte was drawn into his eyes. Her resolve to remain impassive in his presence was impossible. She knew she loved him, and she knew she must not. 

Sidney  
Sidney watched Charlotte and Stringer walk away from the throng and towards the river. It was unbearable seeing them speaking amicably, Charlotte looking up at him with a smile Sidney had rarely seen bestowed on him. He knew this was a good thing. Stringer would make Charlotte happy. It was obvious he loved her. Sidney knew it was for the best. Stringer was talented, and with Sidney’s patronage he would become very successful. Sidney would ensure it. With Charlotte by his side, he could become an architect of influence, ensuring his wealth and Charlotte’s comfort. This would give Sidney some peace of mind.   
Eliza was engrossed in conversation with Lady Susan, her (grating) laughter ringing out over the general hubbub of conversation. Sidney took his opportunity to take a walk down to the river. He needed some rowing practice he told himself. But he knew he could not stand the idea of Stringer being alone with Charlotte. As he approached the river he found her getting ready for the race.  
“Miss Heywood, do I look ready to you.” He could well have said “Charlotte, look at me.” He stretched out his arms, as if to wrap them around her. Just warming his shoulders before taking up oars. He knew really his display was just that, a display for her attention. His body was not obeying orders. He had made the decision to retreat from Charlotte, leave her be, but here he was, in shirt sleeves, arms open before her, wanting to embrace her.   
“I’m no expert.” Her eyes were diverted from him, she was keeping her distance. Sidney lifted a pair of oars easily to his shoulders, stood and looked at Charlotte again, adjusting his posture to push out his chest. She was still averting her gaze from him. Sidney stepped lightly into the boat. Charlotte passed him another set of oars, as he took them from her, he was able to just brush her fingers with his. He tingled at the feel of her skin. She seemed not to notice and started to walk away.   
“A man cannot step into the same river twice. Have you heard that?” He knew why the quote popped into his head, he had been thinking of Eliza. Now it was the first thing he thought of to keep Charlotte from walking away from him.   
“It’s Heraclitus.” There was a slight smile on her lips. Sidney began to feel a little more confident. He had her attention.   
“Of course you’d know that”. He enjoyed the feeling of being able to compliment her. She did not smile, merely looked a little puzzled. He couldn’t let her go, so very casually he said.  
“I need a second person to balance the boat, would you be so kind?” He held out his hand to her, looking towards the river, to keep the lightness in such an trepidatious moment. She looked very reluctant and he felt sure, about to refuse him. Now was the moment to employ the Sidney charm, because he couldn’t bear to let her leave him.   
He dipped his head slightly, looked her in the eyes, gave a scant nod and quietly said.  
“Come on.” Hoping the desperation couldn’t be heard in his voice. It was with enormous relief that he felt her hand slip into his. Charlotte jumped into the boat, which was quite unsteady. The boats lilt threw her closely to him and he caught her deftly, then guided her to sit down safely. Sidney began to row.   
“Tell me Miss Heywood, why is it when I finally have a chance of happiness I cannot accept it.”  
The scales were falling from Sidney’s eyes. He was happy with Charlotte yet something was making him chase the long forgotten dream of Eliza, a dream that was rather a let down. Why couldn’t he accept his happiness with this remarkable woman sat before him.   
“I don’t believe anybody is unsuited to marriage, not even you.” Her confident, freely given opinion made him chuckle. He wished he felt so certain.  
“It’s just a question of compatibility.” How her words struck him. Compatibility. Compatibility was everything. Not a seventeen year olds idea of perfection, a person with whom he had nothing in common, an unchanged immature child-woman who had lived a marriage of extreme privilege, with no understanding of anything outside of high society and wealth.   
He needed to touch Charlotte, her closeness to him was irresistible. He reached the oars towards her.  
“Now your turn.” He folded her hands around the oars with his and they rowed together. The rhythmic ebb and flow of the boat, the push and pull of the oars transported Sidney back to the dance, when she was in his arms. He couldn’t help himself but reach out to touch her, placing his hand on her waist with the excuse of adjusting her back, and trailing his hand gently over her thigh back to her hand on the oar. The forbidden touch was very pleasing to his deepest desires. Her eyes mesmerised him. Not for the first time, he felt complete in her presence.   
“Sidney!”


	38. In the Study, after The Regatta

Charlotte gazed at the model of Sanditon in Tom’s study. Her regatta, a day that should have been full of fun and triumph had been a torment. She berated herself for getting into the boat with him. It would have been so much better to run away. She’d allowed him into her thoughts once again, enjoyed the feeling of his strength rowing the boat, holding her hands, looking into her eyes, charming her with his wit. Then in front of Lady Susan and the quite awful Eliza he had belittled her, his condescension had been agonising. Others had laughed, she didn’t care, but for his words only and the hurt they inflicted.   
Why had he bothered to run after her? Guilt perhaps, or concern for what others might think. Chasing her through the crowd had made that worse. He’d asked for a moment and then said nothing. Then a half apology. Not for mocking her, but for Eliza. It didn’t matter. He had shown his true feelings and it helped to know he thought so little of her. She had felt glad to stand her ground, state she knew how he regarded her. Perhaps now he would stop playing with her feelings, leading her to believe he felt something for her, when it was obvious he did not. He’d stopped her running from him, taking her arm, but then he did not speak, did not explain, did not apologise. Charlotte wanted him out of her life. She begged him to leave her alone. Being faced with him was unbearable. She had thought so highly of him, believed herself in love with him. All the while she had been amusement for him, a game to be played in times of boredom. Charlotte wished she had never been taken in by him, kept up a guard against him, as her father had advised. She had been too open, too naive, too trusting. But no more. Where Sidney Parker was concerned her heart was under lock and key. It would have been simpler if she could hate him, for his crushing words, his deeply hurtful witticism, but she could not.

Sidney in the Tavern after the Regatta

Sidney stared into his glass of whisky, his fourth in quick succession. Clarity had finally come. He was grateful for solitude.   
The last few days had been tumultuous. That dance with Charlotte. Then Eliza. Every hope and every dream was suddenly within his grasp. And the slow realisation that Eliza just wasn’t what he wanted or what he needed anymore. She was beautiful, there was no doubt, but she was cold. She was, he was ashamed to admit, superficial, as he had been in his youth, when he loved her. Coming to understand he no longer loved her, was excruciating. She had been all he ever wanted. But it was a fantasy. The reality of her was so much less. She was less.   
After the regatta, they had walked together by the river, now deserted. She had professed her love for him and her wish for them to reunite. It had been a harrowing conversation for them both. Sidney had been honest with her. As gently as he could, he explained the hurt had been too great, the time apart too long, the change in them both too much, to go back. He could no longer love her, it was too late. Eliza had begged, real tears streaming down her face at the thought of loosing him again. Her whole marriage spent waiting for the chance to be by his side once more. She wanted to start again, as if strangers meeting for the first time, with no past, no hurt, and no history. Sidney had cried with her, finally letting go of the lost love he thought he’d wanted. Finally he grieved for her. Eliza returned to London, broken at the loss of him, ever hopeful for a change of heart in time.   
Sidney turned his thoughts to Charlotte. Had his behaviour killed any regard she could possibly hold for him, was her esteem irretrievably lost?   
He had gone to her, immediately, unable to stop himself from chasing her. Her face streaked with tears, her plaintive expression rendering him speechless.  
“What is it you want from me?” There was no answer that could be spoken, Sidney did not know what it was he wanted, he just knew he wanted to stop her leaving, stop the hurt he felt.   
She had asked that he leave her alone. He knew he could not.   
Emboldened by the whisky he walked to Trafalgar House.   
Sidney walked slowly to the doorway of Tom’s study. He thought better of stepping too far into the room. What he had to say was vital, critical even. He could not advance too closely on Charlotte, the gravitas of his words needed space  
Charlotte was startled by the sound of the front door and heard his footsteps coming close. She recognised his step. Dread filled her, but anger too. She felt a hot prickle in her eyes, but he would never see her cry again. Her hands formed fists, her arms tensed and she asked.  
“If you are looking for your brother”. Sidney interrupted her before she could finish. He had to speak before he lost his courage to do so.   
“I’m not.” Sidney took a deep breath hoping his voice would not let him down. “As a matter of fact I was looking for you”.   
Charlotte stared, unable to speak for a moment and then pulled herself together.  
“I thought you and Mrs Campion would be heading back to London.” Charlotte drew up her chin, holding on tight to the emotions welling up inside her, she clenched her jaw. She noted the softness in him she’d seen once before.  
“She has already left.” Sidney looked down, he needed more courage.   
“I decided against joining her. On reflection I realised I would much rather be here.”  
There was a long pause. Charlotte remained as impassive as she could, not able to take her eyes from him. Sidney gulped, drew breath and forced himself to continue.  
“I, I am a great deal less than perfect, you’ve made me all to aware of that. But for whatever it is worth, I believe I am my best self, my truest self when I am with you”. He stopped. Charlotte’s face remained composed, her eyes slightly brighter in the candle light, her lips slightly parted. She did not speak. Sidney had said what he needed to and now could only leave her with his words.  
“That is all.” He turned and strode back to the Crowne, his eyes wet with tears, no hope in his heart.   
Charlotte steadied herself against the desk unable to take in what she had heard.


	39. A Walk on the Cliffs

Charlotte could not sleep. Her mind would not rest. His words replayed over in her head. He had spoken truthfully to her, showed his true nature, been his best self. She had seen his worst. She knew him capable of cruelty and violence. But also great tenderness and forgiveness.   
Charlotte rose early and walked along the beach. Today the sun shone brighter, the breeze felt warmer, the world had taken on a sparkling hue. Charlotte felt joy. She was still very confused and unsure, but a seed of hope had been planted. He was his truest self with her. There was no other way to interpret that but well. His best self. Charlotte liked his best self. She wished she could confide in Alison. She would know what to say and do. She always did when it came to matters of the heart. Alison had read every book that advocated love. She knew everything. Without Alison, she would confide in Georgiana. Charlotte knew she held a low opinion of Sidney, but perhaps her opinion could change.  
As Charlotte knocked on Mrs Griffiths’ door she saw Sidney emerge from one of the new terrace houses with Tom. He caught her eye for the briefest moment, as Tom prophesied.  
“It’s all coming true”. Sidney looked wistful, but calmer that yesterday in the Study.   
As it turned out the discussion with Georgiana was of no benefit to Charlotte. She was dismissive and warned Charlotte.   
“You cannot trust a word he says.” Coming from Georgiana, Charlotte felt that was a little ironic and dismissed it from her mind. Georgiana had no finer feelings for Sidney, so it was best not to dwell on what she had said. Charlotte returned to Trafalgar House, no wiser. She busied herself in Tom’s study, until she heard the door bell and his voice. She would not hide from him this time and with trepidation stepped into the hall.   
Sidney stood before her, his demeanour quite changed. He looked hopeful, light and playful, if a tiny bit nervous. Certainly the heaviness and brooding that surrounded him had lifted. He seemed younger, and energetic and his face glowed.  
“Good morning Miss Heywood, I’m going for a walk and wondered if there was anything you needed in town.”  
Charlotte felt a huge rush of warmth for him. Like lightening she knew this was her opportunity to take some time with him.   
“I have a dress fitting in town, perhaps I could walk with you?” Charlotte tried to sound casual and relaxed.  
“Of course. It would be my pleasure.” There was a half smile on his lips, almost as if he wanted to smile broadly but was holding it back. Charlotte was rooted to the spot, just taking in his lovely face. Sidney was equally mesmerised. Charlotte’s quick thinking so overwhelmed him with joy he was struck dumb. It took Mary to break the tension between them by urging them.  
“Off you go then.” As if speaking to her children.   
They walked through town and without realising continued on to the cliffs, speaking occasionally about trivial matters. Charlotte enjoyed the feeling of him next to her, the silences and his amiable but nervous attempts at conversation. Charlotte felt as nervous as he sounded, so discussion was short and awkward.  
“Fine weather we are having.” Sidney was not at all good at small talk, and his nerves were taking hold.  
“Yes indeed.” Charlotte despaired at her reply.  
“Bodes well for the ball tonight.” Sidney struggled on, searching for something more intelligent to say, his brain deserting him.  
“Yes.” Good grief, Charlotte thought, he will think you a simpleton.  
“Although being an indoor occasion, weather is not such a consideration.” Sidney couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth, utter drivel.  
“No, quite.” Charlotte had to suppress a giggle at his valiant attempts to converse.  
The conversation continued in painful stuttering fragments. Sidney searched for words, Charlotte unable to help.   
Sidney felt a strong need to hold her. His arm, of its own accord strayed to Charlotte’s back and touched her so lightly, a touch of tenderness and care. It felt so welcome, in a moment it stilled Charlotte’s nerves, steadied her, and allowed her to calm. As Charlotte spoke her nerves receded, and Sidney felt her growing ease. Encouraged by Charlotte’s stillness Sidney let go of his awkwardness. Their conversation flowed and Sidney took his chance.  
“I was hoping to find a moment for us to be alone together.”  
He stood before her, shielding her from the sea breeze, captivated by her eyes. Charlotte looked up at him, moving closer, drawn to his warmth.  
Sidney was unable to stop himself from kissing her. His arms encircled her and his lips brushed against hers gently. Charlotte welcomed the kiss, her body relaxing into his, her arms pulled him to her and she kissed him back. For Charlotte this was the most wonderful moment of her life. For Sidney too. They felt embraced forever, but also for only a moment. Charlotte felt secure, held in his arms, safe, loved and warm. Sidney embraced her with his whole heart and soul. He could only feel her in his arms, not the ground below his feet or the wind in the air. Her arms around him tethered him to her. It was a moment they wished could last forever. 

The Midsummer Ball

Mary accompanied Charlotte to the ball. She was feeling exceptionally nervous. Her tight bodice made breathing difficult, so her shallow high breaths could be easily seen in the heave of her bosom.   
The Ball was very popular and the room filled with the bright, fun and fashionable.   
Charlotte searched for Sidney, spotting him with Babbington across the room. He saw her, and making his way towards her, his eyes shone as he fixed on her. Tom swooped towards him, taking his arm and introducing him to a new Sanditon resident. Sidney’s eyes registered anguish and he held Charlotte with his eyes for as long as was not rude.   
Eventually Sidney extricated himself from the conversation, but while crossing the floor his arm was taken by Georgiana, wanting to discuss Charlotte with him. Fortunately Arthur came forward to ask for a dance and Sidney ensured Georgiana danced with him. Sidney had watched his younger brother’s interest in Georgiana grow and it made him happy. He believed his fun and blithesome brother would be a good match to Georgiana’s dour nature. Having despatched Georgiana, and with sight of Charlotte, Mary came towards him. She gave him a few words to wish him luck and mentioned Charlotte was rather nervous. At this moment Stringer took Charlotte into hold and they started a lively dance. Charlotte was whisked from him.  
James had wanted to speak to Charlotte since the Regatta. He’d painfully had to stand by as Parker had run to her, Charlotte in tears and visibly shaken. He had heard Charlotte tell Parker to leave her alone. Now he was watching Parker circle the room, in search of her. James took his chance. He asked Charlotte to dance, in order to keep her out of the clutches of Parker. James hadn’t understood exactly what had happened at the Regatta, but Parker had been there with an elegant lady, and Charlotte admitted her regard for someone was futile. Later Charlotte was in tears and Parker was bothering her, as James had seen him do before. Parker had upset her, and must have been the object of her affection. James saw his chance now. Charlotte might not favour him, but James was not going to let Parker win again. He kept the conversation lighthearted and the dancing fun and nimble. He told her his wonderful news of his apprenticeship, and kept her dancing as long as he felt he could. Charlotte imparted her news that she believed she would be staying in Sanditon. James came to understand whatever the disagreement she had with Parker must have somehow resolved. Much as he wanted to, he could no longer stand in her way. He wished her luck and hoped Parker would prove worthy of her. In reality he knew her to be much above Parker in honour and character.

Charlotte was a little vexed to be asked to dance by Mr Stringer. She so wanted to dance with Sidney but he was caught up again, this time with Mary. Mary’s parting words to her were “your heart knows”. Charlotte wondered if she said the same thing to Sidney. Now she was being whirled around the dance floor at a spirited pace by Mr Stringer, alive with the news of his London position. He was so happy and the dance was so jolly Charlotte felt pained not to continue, despite catching Sidney’s eye at each turn. He seemed to enjoy watching her. Eventually Mr Stringer tired and she excused herself from him. Charlotte had seen Sidney head for the Balcony, their Balcony. She knew it would be different this time.   
Sidney took hold of her hands, so tiny in his. He looked earnestly into her face, the nerves that had gripped him before were forgotten now. She was beside him and nothing could disrupt the strength she gave him. Sidney spoke from his heart.  
“I have never wanted to put myself into someone else’s power before. I have never wanted to care for anyone but myself. Charlotte, I..”

“Unhand me you blaggards”


	40. After the Fire

The mood was sombre as the Parker family awaited the return of Sidney from London. Charlotte ever optimistic felt certain Sidney would return with good news. He would have got extra credit from a bank, who could see the value of the work done in Sanditon, she was sure of it.   
His carriage drew up outside Trafalgar House and Charlotte saw him descend. He looked weary, and troubled. Sidney and Tom secreted themselves into the study and spoke in hushed tones. The whole house seemed to hold its breath. Eventually Tom emerged, back to his loud, exuberant self.   
“Mary, Mary, Sanditon is saved, Sidney has saved us all.” Charlotte allowed the family to celebrate, everyone hugging Sidney in turn, as she waited for the excitement to abate. Tom and Mary needed to give the good news to Lady Denham and rushed to her. As the front door shut behind them, Charlotte went to Sidney. His face did not look exultant. He looked downcast and ashamed. A chill gripped Charlotte’s heart. Sidney walked towards her unable to look into her eyes. His face twitched into the half smile she’d seen before. It wasn’t so much a smile as an involuntary spasm of his jaw muscles. The smile he employed to hide his inner feelings, Charlotte knew there was only bad news to come.   
“What is it?” Panic was rising in Charlotte, she had to know what was causing Sidney’s discomfort. He looked like he might cry.   
Sidney took hold of her hands, he gripped them tightly, as if they were the only thing holding him from breaking down.   
“My dearest Charlotte, I had hoped, on my return, I’d be able to make you a proposal of marriage.” His breaths coming in gulps between phrases, almost sobs. He swallowed hard.  
“But that cannot be. I have been obliged to engage myself to Mrs Eliza Campion.” A cold stab of pain hit Charlotte. The hot tears that filled her eyes spilled down her cheeks.  
“Please believe me if there was any other way to resolve Tom’s situation.” Charlotte could hear no more, she blinked back her tears. Almost controlling her sobs she managed.  
“I understand. I wish you every happiness.” With that she fled for her room, where she all but broke down completely. Stifling her cries, Charlotte let the full wave of despair engulf her. She did not know how long she cried, but when the tears eventually dried, the afternoon sun had set and she was in darkness.   
Sidney slumped into a chair in the drawing room. He couldn’t leave Charlotte alone like that, nor could he go to her. He sat and listened to her sobs, each one feeling like a dagger in his own heart. Sidney cried alone, silently.

Sidney’s week in London had been humiliating and tortuous. News of the fire had spread quickly and no bank would give him an audience. The surety he could raise did not cover the debts. Sidney even tried Beacroft, promising him Bedford Square if he failed to repay the loan in a year. Mr Beacroft laughed saying he wasn’t in the habit of setting fire to piles of cash. Sidney considered asking Georgiana if her fortune could guarantee his credit, but he knew it was the wrong to risk her security. Sidney didn’t trust Tom that much. He considered taking over the loan from Tom, so that he would be the one imprisoned. But the debt was so huge the banks would have incarcerated them both and thrown away the key. He briefly thought to ask Babbington, but wasn’t sure he could meet that sort of debt, and he couldn’t humiliate himself and place his oldest friend in such a predicament. He still had a modicum of pride. There was one last chance. Eliza. He hoped their shared history, the sadness they’d gone through, would be enough to appeal to her best nature. That she would see how much he needed her help. And that she would want to help him. It would go some way to resolving the years of hurt he had endured at her hands. He sent a note to Claridge’s.


	41. Sidney visits Eliza

Eliza received a note from her butler at her Claridge’s suite. Since returning from Sanditon and that quite pathetic excuse for a Regatta, Eliza had thrown herself fully into the London social scene. Much as she elevated her standing, aged just seventeen, due to her superior looks, fashion and flattery, now with her vast wealth to add to her attributes Eliza found her counsel was much sought after all over town.   
The rejection from Sidney smarted, her pride had been bruised, but there was always an event to take her mind off these things. There would be other, more worthy suitors. Sidney was rich, but she was far richer. Sidney was handsome, possibly the most handsome man in the world, but looks were not everything. What Sidney lacked was a title. Since she had everything else, a title was very much on her mind.  
Eliza looked at the note, her name written in a familiar scrawl. Eliza felt quite smug, she knew Sidney would come crawling back and it had only taken a week.   
The note explained Sidney was in London and should she predisposed, he would like to visit her. Eliza had always been his Achille’s heel, and she knew she always would be. Rather than reply immediately Eliza put his note to one side. Sidney could wait. Eliza had a party to get ready for.  
Some days later, Eliza’s curiosity got the better of her and a note was sent to Bedford Place saying she would welcome a visit.  
Sidney arrived for a late supper. He looked tired, older than his 27 years, drawn with dark circled eyes.   
They shared an intimate dinner. Eliza had her dining table lit prettily with many candles, with the rest of the room in semi darkness. This had the effect of lighting her skin to a glow, offset against the darkened room. They sat close together which increased the romantic ambiance.  
Sidney knew what she was doing. But he was immune to her charms. He tried to keep things businesslike.   
“Eliza I have a proposal.”  
Eliza glowed pink, she’d won, it had been that easy.  
“Tom’s development has an opportunity for another investor. We are certain that Sanditon will be immensely popular by next summer. I’d like to offer you that opportunity to invest.”  
Eliza slammed down her glass. That wasn’t the proposal she was expecting. She recovered herself, fixing Sidney with her sweetest smile.  
“Dearest Sidney, what would I have to gain by doing that. I already have enough money.”  
Sidney would have to humble himself before her. He signed.   
“The truth is; there was a fire. We need additional funds to rebuild. But it will be better than before.”  
“The truth? The truth is you need my money to keep your family from the poor house.” Eliza sneered. She had Sidney back in her power.   
“It’s a very good investment.”  
“But Sidney, dearest, I am not in need of an investment, I am in need of a husband.”  
Sidney looked astounded. Would she really want him as her husband? After he’d told her he no longer loved her, did that not matter?  
“I errr, I. Eliza?” Sidney stuttered, really quite unsure of what to say.   
“Dearest, it’s very simple. Marriage is a business arrangement. Love has nothing to do with it. You need funds. I. want. you.” Eliza gave him a knowing smile. The smile of someone about to get exactly what they want.


	42. Cliff top Goodbyes

Charlotte took a walk along the beach for the last time. She considered giving up balls. They just did not suit her. Not one had ended merrily after such promising starts.  
The faint stench of burnt wood and smoke still hung in the air, despite the fresh sea breeze. It tainted the town and all who lived there. Charlotte’s Sanditon adventure had come to an sudden end, all her hopes incinerated.   
Mary had not stopped crying when alone, thinking no one could hear her. Tom was distant, a shadow of the man he had been.   
Sidney. Charlotte would have to forget Sidney. The family circumstances relied on Sidney making a fortuitous marriage to save them all from the poor house. He was in the happy position to do that. 

There was one final thing Charlotte had to do before returning home.  
She walked along the cliffs to Sanditon House, the imposing beautiful home of Lady Denham. It was Lady Denham she wanted to speak to.   
Charlotte was warmly welcomed. Now without a companion, the days were long and tedious for Lady D. She was still utterly furious at the wasting of her investment in what was now nothing more than a pile of charcoal.   
They took tea together, discussed the fire and the future for Sanditon.   
Charlotte spoke eloquently of Tom’s vision, and truthfully of his inefficiency with the finances. She gave her opinion freely that continuing the development was the best way to protect the investment already spent. She shared her dreams with Lady Denham, of a new terrace, a society hotel for visitors, and entertainment for guests. Charlotte explained how Lady Denham would benefit greatly from her investment in the future as Sanditon became fashionable through the patronage of Lady Worcester, of whom Lady Denham knew a great deal.   
Lady Denham shared her thoughts, pithy and near the mark about Tom, her hope of a donkey stud and the idea of donkey rides providing much needed exercise on the beach, cheaper to keep than horses and more docile.   
Lady Denham was an exceptionally astute scholar of people and saw Charlotte to be in pain. She had a strong mind to know the cause although her heart already knew it. After much questioning and probing Charlotte broke down.   
She had not been able to tell anyone of the pain she had endured since the fire. She expressed her love for Sidney and how her chance of happiness had been taken from her by Tom’s ill judged spending. Sidney had saved the family from disgrace, ensured Lady Denham’s investment by matching it with his own, or rather with money from his betrothed. Their future happiness lay in Sanditon and Charlotte was away to Willingden that afternoon and would not return. Her heart did not allow it. Lady Denham appraised Charlotte with a critical eye. A very clever girl indeed, with grace and spirit that reminder her of herself as a young girl. Charlotte’s heartbreak reminded her of the lost love she had suffered at that same age, and how it had shaped her life since. Lady Denham known for her temper and sharp tongue, had a softer side, particularly now with more time to reflect. How could she bring about a better outcome for Charlotte without being seen to meddle. She would think on it.   
They parted very much as friends, and Lady Denham requested that Charlotte write to her and keep her abreast of developments in Willingden. 

Sidney knew today was the day Charlotte would leave Sanditon. He couldn’t see her at Trafalgar House, in front of his family. He was certain he could not hold back his heartbreak, and quite certain his temper would get the better of him if he set eyes on Tom. From his rooms he watched her tearful goodbyes in the Square with Mary, Georgiana and the children. Even Tom looked moved to tears as she boarded his carriage with her things.   
Saddling his horse quickly in the stables behind the Crowne, Sidney took the cliff road, to meet the carriage on its way to Willingden.   
Galloping across the cliffs, Sidney’s heart thumped in his chest. He knew he had hurt Charlotte badly, he’d seen the heartbreak in her eyes when he’d told her of his engagement. But he needed to say goodbye. He hoped she would reject him, tell him she never cared for him and never would, he was not the sort of man she wanted. She would reproach him for his callous treatment of her. He deserved it, and so much more.   
As the carriage stopped, Sidney walked towards the door, to see Charlotte jump out, a glint of hope in her eyes which he could not bear. He had to say goodbye, this was to be final. Looking into her tear streaked face, Sidney could only mumble.  
“I don’t love her you know.” Would that be some cold comfort, to know he suffered as she did. Charlotte was further distressed, finding it hard to hold back tears, she made him promise to love the woman he had chosen over her, and make her happy. That was the comfort Charlotte needed. To know all this was not in vain, that they would be happy.   
“Tell me you don’t think badly of me?” He did not deserve the soothing balm of her hatred for him, he deserved only the excruciating pain he felt at taking her naivety, crushing her love for him and turning his life into a living hell. Charlotte barely managed the words.  
“I don’t think badly of you.” Before she lost control she turned from him, the sight of him too painful. Charlotte had forgiven him. She was by far the most exemplary woman Sidney had ever encountered and her forgiveness increased his destitution ten fold. He could never forgive himself, as she had forgiven him.   
As the carriage pulled away, Charlotte did not turn to look back. She had the journey home to cry and lock away the pain he had inflicted, as once home the luxury of her visible heartbreak could not be afforded.


	43. Back home in Willingden

The pain that Charlotte felt as she left Sanditon, she believed would last forever. Etched into her heart, unable to ever let herself love again. She counselled herself. She was young, he was older, worldly. Not a man she would ever have chosen for herself. His heartbreak had hardened him and it had taken Charlotte to crack his shell and release him from his self imposed prison. She had allowed him to love again, and love the girl of his dreams, the owner of his heart. Charlotte never wanted to come second. He said he did not love her, the other, Charlotte couldn’t allow her name, but he would come to. He had to. The loss of her, he’d felt for ten years, would be healed and he would be whole again. He may have thought he did not love her, but he was wrong, he would again, otherwise every pain, every tear, every sob, every wish, every thought Charlotte spared him was for nought. To salve her, to mend her tattered spirits she had to know he was well, happy, prosperous, amiable, enjoying his life. It had to be.  
Charlotte was pragmatic. She’d loved Sanditon, had incredible adventures, loving dear friends and amazing stories she was able to tell her siblings, with a little editing. Her dear Mama and Papa, so pleased to see her home again. How she had missed everyone.   
Over the weeks her thoughts sorted themselves. Sidney’s choice was for Tom and Mary, for the family and for Sanditon. She could not disagree with his decision. The thought of Tom in debtors prison while she and Sidney; no she could not think it. It was impossible. This was how it was to be, and it was for the best.  
As the days grew shorter, Charlotte’s thoughts turned to the consideration that perhaps she had just been his source of amusement. Had she just invented his regard for her, was it a ploy. She would not be the first young lady taken in by a gentleman for his sport and entertainment. Did he have a conscience, or a sense of what was decent? He had after all, kissed her. She had wanted it, but she knew it wasn’t the behaviour of a true gentleman. Perhaps that made her less of a lady. Perhaps. 

Sidney back in London  
Sidney woke to the doorbell ringing in Bedford Place. The sound felt like tiny hammers punching holes inside his skull. He groaned. It was rudely early. Bates came to his chamber to inform him Mrs Campion was waiting for him in the drawing room. Sidney dressed, trying to remember the events of the previous night. He’d been in London a few weeks now and most evenings were spent with Crowe and large amounts of whisky. Sidney preferred the feeling of not being able to think, over a tortuously clear head. His days were spent with the affairs of his long neglected business, and managing Tom’s debts. The less money he took from Eliza, the less beholden he’d feel.   
Eliza had made herself comfortable in the drawing room and ordered tea. She looked mildly annoyed when he eventually came downstairs.   
“Sidney this really will not do. It is almost 12 and you are just rising. I have been out riding and seen the modiste while you have been sleeping. The order for the silks for my wedding clothes has been delivered and will be ready this coming May. I’d like to set the date for our wedding.”  
Sidney was in no mood to discuss dates, and Eliza would do whatsoever she pleased anyway, so why bother him with trivialities. He sank down into his father’s chair and groaned. Everything ached.   
“Please just chose. I am in no mind of a date.” He tried not to sound that disinterested. Eliza tried not to notice.  
“Well in June there is Mrs Belvoir’s party, the racing at Ascot and the Duke of Montefort’s ball, so that just will not do.”  
“We are required in Sanditon for the first ball of the season also.” Sidney growled slowly, he had told her before, but she had a habit of forgetting.   
“Oh really? I’m sure we can have much more fun in town and avoid the dreary fishing village dance.”  
“Tom is counting on us.”   
“Sidney while you might work for your brother, I do not. But as your fiancé, I will accompany you to Sanditon. We will arrive on the day of the ball and depart the following.”  
“I’d like to spend some time with my family, wouldn’t you?”  
“Really Sidney? Listening to Tom and his quite fantastical schemes. Spending time with Mary looking tired and dowdy and those feral children. I can think of things I would rather do.”   
Since he had taken the pains to explain to Eliza of the seriousness of Tom’s debts, as a mark of respect to her, her behaviour and treatment of him had got worse. She took great pleasure in diminishing and disparaging him. Sidney was learning to ignore her, and deaden the pain with whiskey.  
“I should like for the wedding to be in Sanditon.” He heard those words as if he had not spoken them, emotionless. He did not want a wedding, least not to Eliza, but it had to be.   
“Did we not agree, bringing our guests to Sanditon for the wedding was the best way to promote the new terrace and safeguard your investment. You’d like a quick return after all.”  
Eliza looked furious, but decided against losing her temper, preferring to attempt to cry.  
“Oh Sidney! Please don’t. I’d like so much for the wedding to be in London.” She started to sob into her handkerchief. Sidney could not stand it, uncertain if she was actually distressed or not.  
“Whatever you wish.” He said it flatly, without tone or emotion. Eliza stopped immediately, put away her handkerchief, a satisfied smile on her face.  
“Now this evening we are at Mr and Mrs Willoughby’s Candlelight Picnic. I understand Lord B will be there, so you’ll have a playmate to carouse with. Please try not to drink too much and make a fool of me.”  
Thank goodness for an evening with Babbers. He could always cheer Sidney up.


	44. Letters from Friends

Charlotte received letters regularly. Mary had taken over Charlotte’s organisation and financial management, which she was enormously grateful to her for. Mary held the purse strings firmly. Two labourers were employed, Mr Robinson and Mr Carter. They were to work on one house at a time and finish it before moving to the next. The Parkers were at last living within their means. Charlotte had suggested that commissions be sought ahead of building, and Mary confirmed Lady Susan had commissioned a Summer Villa, in order to spend part of the season in Sanditon in a house befitting her standing, where she could entertain.   
Lady Susan wrote with great excitement at the plans for her Summer Villa. Under Charlotte’s guide she had employed Mr Stringer as her architect and hoped it would be ready by the next summer so she could welcome Charlotte to her new home for the season.  
Georgiana wrote of her tiresome days with the Beauforts, the Gorgon’s deepening regard for Rev Hankins and his almost daily attendance at tea.  
Mr Stringer wrote from his lodgings in London. Charlotte had persuaded him to take up his studies with the architectural firm, as works had slowed in Sanditon. He travelled back whenever he could, and sent Tom updated plans frequently.   
No one wrote of Sidney. It was almost as though he had never existed, such was his absence.  
Charlotte thought on it. It was kinder not to be updated on elaborate wedding plans, visits by ‘her’, to the family Charlotte loved, her place assured by his side because of her fortune.   
Mr and Mrs Heywood, so happy to have their daughter back, safe and unharmed by her adventures, unaware of the scars Charlotte hid so well, understood that perhaps Willingden did not hold the excitement that Sanditon had. They decided it was time for Charlotte to take on more responsibility for the estate. Having come out, and not returned with a husband, the Heywoods had to consider Charlotte may decide spinsterhood suited her better.   
One evening over dinner Papa proposed his plan. Charlotte would be charged with the refurbishment of the tenants cottages. Harvest had been plentiful, the tenants productive and rents paid. There was money available for upgrading to a modest standard. Charlotte was thrilled. She set about her plans immediately and invited Mr Stringer to visit when he could, to advise her.   
To accommodate Mr Stringer’s visit, Charlotte decided to prepare one of the empty farm cottages. Not dissimilar to his home in Sanditon, the simple cottage was perfect. Charlotte aided by Alison, set to work. Alison was an accomplished seamstress, with the patience Charlotte lacked for close detail and fine finishing. She created curtains with swags, as Charlotte had described from the big house in Sanditon, and bedding to rival the most comfortable.  
Of all the stories Charlotte told of Sanditon, Alison revelled in those that featured Mr Stringer the most. Her description of his hazel eyes, curly auburn hair, kindness, politeness, sporting prowess and artistry, fascinated Alison. Surely this man was made in heaven and a deserving suitor for Charlotte? Why could she not see it?  
On the day of his arrival, Alison placed flowers on the table, lit the fire in the grate, filled the jugs with water and once more swept the floor. If they were to fall in love, keeping him in a comfortable cottage was the best thing Alison could do for them. Alison was the romantic of the family, her inspiration her parents loving marriage. Charlotte was less inclined to fancy, and would value practicability over hearts desire, but Alison knew better. Charlotte’s fondness when she spoke of Mr Stringer was unmistakable and Charlotte would just need to become aware of his finer qualities to know he was the man of her heart’s desire.

Charlotte took the small gig up to the coach stop, a few miles from Willingden and awaited Mr Stringer’s arrival with excited anticipation.   
James was looking forward to seeing Charlotte too. Their long letters over the weeks had been of great comfort to him. Her help in finding lodgings, and her introduction to Lady Susan had settled James in London well. He had come to realised he loved Charlotte, but not in a passionate way. She had entered his life at a time that the loss of his mother was still keenly felt. Her spirit and kindness filled a hole in his heart that she had left. Charlotte provided the need for femininity and warmth he lacked. He’d believed he was in love with her, but those feelings were protective, like a brother, gratitude for her ability during his father’s accident, astonishment at her enthusiasm for all things and admiration of her intelligence. She really was quite unlike any other woman he’d ever met. Charlotte had been his awakening, bringing forth the idea he was ready for marriage and a woman at his side. Charlotte prepared him, for the true delights of real love, because her own love for all things shone through. When it had become clear she favoured another, and it was Sidney Parker, his protectiveness grew, his heart although bruised by the perceived rejection was not broken, but merely primed, ready for love.  
His coach drew up and a new improved Mr Stringer descended. His clothes now finely tailored, his top hat shiny and well fitting, his boots of finest leather, a deep peacock blue velvet topcoat finishing the ensemble.   
Charlotte was quite taken aback, but greeted him warmly before commenting on his changed appearance.   
“My word, Mr Stringer. You are as fine a gentleman as I have ever seen.”  
“Aye, that’s London for you, Miss Heywood. Lady Susan invited me to a social gathering to exhibit my plans for Sanditon. She suggested I meet her tailor first.”   
They laughed together, Charlotte knowing how Susan could manoeuvre things to best advantage.  
The drive home to Willingden was quick and amiable. Charlotte was grateful Mr Stringer did not mention Sidney Parker, but then he would have no cause to.  
They arrived to the full battalion of Heywoods and James solemnly greeted and shook hands with each and every one of the Heywood brood before arriving before Alison. For a moment the world stood still for James, as before him was the most exquisite creature he had ever set eyes on. The younger Miss Heywood, with brown eyes and brown curls just like Charlotte, but smaller, finer boned, less exuberant, more calm. James was utterly speechless. Alison was beetroot red.   
Charlotte, now more experienced in matters of the heart, quickly intervened.  
“We must get you settled in the cottage, Mr Stringer, your journey must have tired you.”  
James reluctantly followed Charlotte after bidding everyone farewell until dinner. He would have preferred to stay, never to tear himself away from Young Miss Heywood again.   
Back in the Heywood kitchen, Alison steadied herself at the stove. Mr Stringer had been a tumultuous surprise. She’d expected a well turned out but simple man of practical means. What she saw was a gentlemen so fine, so unexpected, she had quite forgotten to breathe. He had removed his hat and bowed deeply to her. His hair was the beautiful autumnal brown Charlotte had described, his eyes hazel as she expected. But the rest!   
Mama spoke kindly to poor shaken Alison, having also noticed the flush to her cheeks.  
“What a fine gentleman Mr Stringer is. How wonderful of Charlotte to bring him to us.”  
Alison stirred the stew, unable to look at her mother, unable to unscramble her thoughts.  
James sat in the simply furnished but very comfortable home Charlotte had prepared for him.   
The fire crackled gently. He drew the curtains and contemplate the heavy swags and gold brocade edging, a little incongruous against the simple wooden furniture. As was the delicate tablecloth, the deep and comfortable cushions, the very comfortable bed linens with finely worked inlays of intricate embroidered design. He appreciated the mastery in the work. All the while he could think of nothing but Miss Alison.  
Dinner was a somewhat riotous affair. The younger Heywoods all demanded attention from the new man at the table. Alison kept to the far end where there was less candle light. From there she could regard Mr Stringer and her sister. Charlotte, she noticed, had a tenderness towards Mr Stringer, and an admiration for him as he talked of his apprenticeship. He in turn seemed quite enraptured, not taking his gaze away from her. Alison would have to put away the burning esteem she felt for him. She could not stand between Charlotte and Mr Stringer’s happiness.   
James, not fully understanding what had occurred when he set eyes on Alison, knew he had to maintain the utmost propriety in another man’s home. Speaking to her directly, or gazing at her exquisite features would not have endeared him to her father, and his good opinion was paramount. James was therefore quite relieved to find Alison at a distance from him, busying herself with the younger Heywoods, serving food, cutting vegetables up and helping the little ones eat. He was able to watch her, without being discovered as her face reflected in the window behind Charlotte.


	45. Mr Stringer Visits Willingden

That night, Charlotte slept fitfully. Memories of Sanditon uppermost in her mind, her dreams full of Sidney Parker. She woke to find Alison gently rousing her.   
“Charlotte are you alright?” Alison had to silence her. The house was large but in the dead of night, sounds carried and she didn’t want anyone woken by Charlotte’s cries.   
Her face wet with tears, Charlotte tried to make light of her distress.   
“Just a nightmare dear sister, try not to worry.”  
“What is Mr Stringer’s given name Charlotte?”  
It was a strange question at a strange time of night. Still not quite awake Charlotte mumbled   
“James, why do you ask?”  
“He is a very handsome gentleman, a girl could do much worse.”  
“Alison!” The girls giggled very, very quietly. Charlotte now fully awake was intrigued.  
“Do you find him very fine?”  
“Oh yes, Charlotte, very fine indeed. And you?”  
Charlotte explained that London had changed him and now he was becoming a sought after architect he no longer dressed as a foreman.  
“But do you find him handsome?” Alison persisted. Charlotte considered.  
“He has a pleasing face.”  
Alison could not contain herself.   
“Are you to be betrothed? I believe he regards you highly?”  
Now Charlotte knew her sister well, her fanciful way of seeing love where there was none.  
She explained gently and patiently to Alison that young ladies do not fall for every pleasing face they meet, that compatibility is most important.   
“He loves you. I see it!”  
Charlotte took the rest of the night convincing Alison that she and Mr Stringer were not a match. 

Stringer rose early the next morning and walked around the estate. He wanted an idea of what was to be done for the tenants cottages and needed a clear head. Alison was still on his mind, but how to proceed. He had but two days in Willingden before returning to London. With time short, he knew of only one course of action. He would need to speak to Charlotte. 

After her long night with Alison, Charlotte was somewhat tired but happy to find Mr Stringer already surveying the cottages. They tramped over the morning dew, once again in companionable silence, although this time it was Mr Stringer who needed Charlotte’s help.   
“What do you make of the cottages Mr Stringer.”  
“Forgive me, Miss Heywood, I have a lot on my mind.”  
“Anything I can help with? Perhaps we are of the same mind?”  
James took a deep breath, it had to be now.   
“Young Miss Heywood, Miss Heywood.” James stopped, they both laughed.  
“I really think it may be time you called me Charlotte.”  
“Thank you Miss, er Charlotte.”  
“And you were saying Mr Stringer?”  
“James, please.”  
“James. So you have my sister on your mind?”  
James blushed deeply.  
“Charlotte, I am gainfully employed by Mr Parker and now also Lady Susan. My apprenticeship continues. My home in Sanditon has been under refurbishment and is comfortable and warm.”  
Charlotte smiled, she knew all these things.   
“I have elevated my position and hope to continue to do so. I hope you know me to be deferential in all matters. I will only act from my heart and promise to be most loyal, courteous and appropriate always.”  
Charlotte laughed. She had been aware of a certain tension between James and Alison when they had been introduced. James had been struck dumb and Alison had almost melted into a swoon. During their long conversation into the night Alison had admitted her regard for Mr Stringer, once she had been convinced that he was no match for Charlotte.  
“What is your point James?” Charlotte was teasing but trying to be kind.   
“I, I wonder would Young Miss Heywood, err.”  
“Miss Alison, perhaps?” Charlotte wanted to make the conversation easier for him, but was not sure how.   
“James, I believe my sister may be predisposed towards you.”  
“That makes me very happy, Charlotte, very happy indeed. And without any obligation on her part, please inform her she has my sincere regard.”  
“James you have met but once, and exchanged only a greeting.” A little concerned as James’ earnest face imparted the strength of his feeling.  
“Of course. I wish not to distress her, or you, in these matters. I am here but for two days, and cannot remain silent.”  
Charlotte thought on it.   
“James, leave it to me. I have a plan.”

To thank Lady Susan for her kindness, Charlotte had sent her a lace handkerchief which Alison had fashioned, complete with beautifully embroidered ‘S’. Lady Susan had been quite taken with it and asked that she be able to commission Alison for lace finery in her new Sanditon Villa. Alison worked every spare minute she had with her bobbins creating more lace samples.   
On the day of Mr Stringers arrival, a letter from Lady Susan had also arrived. The letter indicated which lace sample Lady Susan most favoured for her curtains and Alison was commission to produce six panels for the Villa windows.

So it was that the evening arrived, after dinner, after the little ones had been persuaded into bed, that James, Mr Heywood and Charlotte sat down to discuss their plans for the tenants cottages. James had measured, remeasured and started sketching.They spoke at length of wood and slate and stone, until Papa Heywood decided he really would prefer his bed. Assured of Mr Stringer’s integrity, Mr Heywood made to leave his daughter, until Charlotte remonstrated with him.  
“Papa! Please do not do Mr Stringer the disservice of leaving us unchaperoned.”  
Mr Heywood laughed lightly as he knew he was being teased.   
“I shall send Alison along directly, to oversee your conversations.”  
Mr Heywood was a kind and attentive father, not distant from his daughters and not unused to their ways. The lightness of spirit he had noticed in his second daughter since the arrival of Mr Stringer, had not displeased him as he found Mr Stringer to be of excellent character. Should Alison find him so also would be a happy coincidence. He suspected Charlotte was of the same mind and was perhaps indulging in a little match making.   
Alison entered the snug and gave a quick curtsy as James stood up to welcome her. Neither seemed able to speak. Charlotte stepped in.  
“So, James, you may not know, it is Alison who will be making the lace curtains for Lady Susan’s Villa. Your beautiful windows will be adorned by lace made here on the farm.”   
James, blushing hard attempted to form words but failed. Alison too stared down at her hands unable to lift her eyes. Charlotte cleared her throat and continued.  
“Alison is quite the seamstress. She made the furnishings in your cottage.”  
Alison found her voice at last, “I hope you have found your stay comfortable Mr Stringer?”  
“Aye, most comfortable Miss.”  
“And the cottage, was it warm?”  
“Yes, very warm.”  
“The furnishings were to your liking?”  
“Very much.”  
There was silence once more. Charlotte started to laugh. She had not truly laughed for many weeks and the sound surprised her.   
James found his courage.  
“Miss Alison, I have my drawings for Lady Susan’s Villa windows if you would care to see?”  
“That would be most fine.” It was Alison’s turn to blush.  
“Also the measurements, so perhaps your panels could be made to an exacting size?”  
“An exacting size would be most ideal Mr Stringer.”  
James unrolled his perfect drawings of the Villa on the table. Covered in tiny numbers and indications, the drawings were intricate and quite beautiful. Alison gasped “They are a work of art Mr Stringer.”  
“Much like your furnishings Miss Alison.”  
Charlotte felt a joy swell inside her. James and Alison had found their compatibility, their conversation now easing into friendly familiarity.   
“I shall collect more fire wood from the kitchen. I will be gone some five minutes.” Charlotte spoke it, almost as a pronouncement.  
She lingered briefly in the kitchen, but not too long and returning to the snug found James explaining in his patient and eloquent way what the annotations on his plans signified. Alison was spellbound.   
Later that night Alison confided in Charlotte. She had allowed Mr Stringer to write to her once he was back in London.


	46. The Willoughbys’ Candlelit Picnic

The Willoughbys’ picnic turned out to be quite a fun affair. The garden was lit with thousands of candles and looked quite magical. It reminded Sidney of Mrs Maudseley’s masked rout, just two months previous. He felt the familiar pain of loss stab him low in the chest. How much he missed Charlotte. He was now in a habit of conjuring up her sweet face in his minds eye daily, for he felt sure he would forget what she looked like if he did not. The fear of forgetting her beautiful features was unbearable. So he chose the pain of memory and enjoyed the sharpness of it.   
Eliza saw Lord and Lady Babbington as they entered, and rushed to greet them. Sidney followed feeling like a small dog being dragged along on a leash.   
“Lord B, Lady B, how marvellous you both look. Married life obviously suits you. I cannot wait until dearest Sidney is mine, so I can reflect the glow of his love, just as you do.” Babbers laughed indiscreetly, not seeing much of a glow about Sidney’s countenance.   
“Excuse my husband Eliza, he has laughter in his bones it seems and cannot help expressing it.” Esther tried to make light of his rudeness.  
Crowe stumble into the quartet, looked Eliza up and down and stated loudly “Rumours of my recent demise have been greatly exaggerated.”  
Eliza squealed with delight. “Oh Mr Crowe, I’m sure you’ll be found face down in a ditch sooner or later.”  
“Madam, I am oft found in a ditch, however I rise Lazarus-like despite gossip to the contrary.” He gave a deep bow, but rather spoiled it by loosing his balance and staggering sideways into a hedge.  
Esther took Eliza by the arm.  
“Let us leave the men to their games and find some worthy entertainment elsewhere.”  
Babbers, completely in love with his wife, had explained what he knew of the circumstances of Sidney’s betrothal to Eliza and while she was indifferent to Sidney, her husband’s despondency was of her concern. She knew spending time and jollying Parker into a better mood would make her husband happy.   
Crowe went in search of proper drinks, having had quite enough of the fruit punch being served. Babbington looked earnestly at his friend.  
“You don’t look well old man.” Sidney could not hold his gaze. He felt his eyes prickle and knew what would happen if he didn’t change the subject fast.   
“Where is Crowe and the blasted whisky?”  
Lady Susan appeared before them. They both gave a deep bow. Sidney was immediately on edge. Lady Susan was a great friend of Charlotte’s and Eliza knew it, but she was also Sanditon’s latest and greatest patron. Her commission of a Villa had allowed Sidney to pay all the workers the pay they were owed, and buy materials for the Villa to be built.   
“Please take a turn with me around these beautiful gardens Mr Parker. Do excuse us Lord Babbington, we have business to discuss. I’m afraid it would be quite tiresome for you, and I believe Mr Crowe requires rescuing.” Lady Susan looked over Babbington’s shoulder and as Sidney and Babbers turned, they saw Crowe once again staggering into a hedge.  
Lady Susan gently took Sidney’s arm and they strolled together, as she told Sidney of her news.  
“I have commissioned that rather marvellous young architect Mr Stringer, for the design of the Villa. His early drawings are very promising indeed. It will be most stylish and well proportioned but befitting its position high on the cliffs”. Sidney felt the tension in him increase at the mention of Stringer. If it wasn’t bad enough that Lady S would have knowledge of Charlotte, and know why she left Sanditon abruptly, now she was employing Stringer who he knew held Charlotte in great esteem.   
“He has recently sent me new plans which I will forward to Mr Parker for his approval. He has taken some time away from his apprenticeship to visit Willingden and was able to send them to me from there.”  
At the mention of Willingden, Sidney turned white and thought he might collapse. The ground under his feet seemed unstable and he staggered a little. Lady Susan felt his distress and steadied him.  
“My dear boy, perhaps a little judicious care with your imbibing. You wouldn’t want to let a certain young lady down, now would you?”   
At this moment Eliza came towards them and greeted Lady Susan rather more warmly than was reciprocated.  
“Lady Susan, well met. Do tell what you and my betrothed are discussing in such a covert manner?”  
Susan unsmiling “Why Mrs Campion, your forthcoming wedding of course. It must be very much on your mind. Do you have a date yet?”  
“Alas no, Sidney is singularly trying to thwart me and there are so many parties and balls. I must, at all costs avoid a conflict.” Eliza shot a cold look at Sidney, who was still being held steady by the formidable Lady S.   
“Do please call on me and I shall share my diary with you. Together we will find the most auspicious date.” With that Lady Susan let go of Sidney’s arm and moved on. Without her holding him, Sidney slumped to one side and steadied himself on a chaise.  
“Really Sidney! You’ve drunk too much already!” In reality Eliza was taking little notice of the crumpled and desolate Sidney. She was glowing with self satisfaction. Imagine, invited to share Lady Susan’s social diary! Ignoring Sidney, Eliza swept off to greet friends and share her marvellous news of Lady Susan’s invitation. She found her way to the Earl of Chichester, a slight acquaintance introduced to her by Lady Susan at the Sanditon Regatta. He was a fine handsome gentleman, of easy nature and perfect manners. He greeted her warmly and asked after her fiancé.   
“Sidney has deserted me, Lord Chichester, in favour of his school chums.” Eliza feigned despair with a giggle and lowered her eyes.  
“I wonder Mrs Campion if I could appeal to your charitable nature, as I am in a position that leaves me wanting. Do you believe your betrothed could spare you for a small amount of time? I am in dire need of an enchanting companion for an event of a most exciting nature. I can only think that you, Mrs Campion would the ideal companion for such an event.”  
Eliza was intrigued and flattered. She had a secret regard for the Earl. His golden hair and bright blue eyes fascinated her. She knew of his vast estate, with herds of deer.  
“I’m sure Sidney would be happy for me to bestow charity upon you, Sir, since you so earnestly require it.” Eliza’s heart was beating fast, her excitement almost unparalleled, she remembered to flutter her eyelashes.   
“My lady, you do me the greatest honour. You shall accompany me to the Prince Regent’s Winter Garden Party at St James’s Palace.”  
Had it not been unacceptable to do so, Eliza would have screamed with delight. Instead she showed her great pleasure with a deep and long curtsy, holding her face up to the Earl bestowing her best smile before lowering her gaze coquettishly.   
“I believe Lord, you do me a far greater honour.”

Sidney sat on the chaise unable to move. Stranded like a new born foal, his legs were not under his control. His mind spinning, his stomach churning. He looked to be suffering apoplexy. There could be only one reason that Stringer would visit Willingden. The idea crushed him.   
Fortunately Babbington and Crowe found him.  
“Well there’s a dreadful sight, Crowe.”  
“Isn’t that what Lady E says every day?” Crowe had taken to calling Eliza, Lady E, in mockery.  
Sidney struggled to stand and grasped a drink from Crowe. “Steady man, you look like you’ve had quite enough for the night.”  
“Wine.” Sidney growled, downed the glass and waved it around searching for more.   
Babbers and Crowe looked at one another. They needed to get Sidney home, with the least fuss and spectacle. Babbington found Esther and quickly explained in hushed whispers, she was to travel home with his sister Celia. Esther guessed Sidney was drunk and making a fool of himself again. It wasn’t the first time in the recent weeks. Crowe meanwhile walked Sidney around the darkest parts of the garden to where the carriages were waiting. Fortunately Sidney gave no resistance. Together Babbington and Crowe manhandled Sidney into the carriage.   
“Did Eliza see?” Babbers wanted to ensure there was no scandal.  
“No, but she is going to wonder what happened to him.” Crowe didn’t care what she thought, but a lady arriving accompanied and leaving unaccompanied would raise eyebrows.   
“Esther will see to it. She’ll explain he’s been indisposed.” They chuckled. They were getting quite practised at surreptitiously removing Sidney from social gatherings because of his drinking. Only this time he looked rather more ill than drunk.


	47. In Sidney’s Study later that Night

Back home in Bedford Place, Babbers and Crowe deposited Sidney into a chair by the fire. Sidney called for brandy and was dispensed a large glass. Babbers and Crowe, shared a look. There was little point in trying to stop him. They drew smaller glasses for themselves and settled in for a long night.   
Sidney was morose, gulping down several mouthfuls of brandy rapidly, the burning soothed him. It detracted from the pain in his heart. After an age he spoke.  
“Stringer has visited Willingden.”

The three friends had never openly discussed Charlotte, but both Crowe and Babbington knew their oldest friend well enough not to need any explanation. They’d seen his rebirth to the Sidney they knew in their early years, fun, jovial and even tempered, and the reason had been Charlotte. They’d seen his recent decent into abject misery, and his testy mood around Eliza. They were at a loss at his decision to punish himself with a life in London and Eliza when with all his heart he wanted to be with Charlotte.   
“Go to her man. You’ve a horse.” Crowe was always one to act with his heart and think later.   
“It’s impossible. She could never accept me.”  
Babbington was more of a strategist. “What if we were to invite her to the Point to Point on the estate. I believe she is a fine horsewoman. I’ll give her my best horse. She’d do well, I can see to it.”  
Sidney covered his face. He had to unburden himself of the responsibilities he carried, the knowledge he had not imparted. He began the whole sorry tale, leaving nothing out, for his incredulous and saddened friends to hear.   
As dawn broke the three sat in silence, Sidney’s torment laid bare and his friends silenced by the tragic misfortune.   
Crowe and Babbington eventually left Sidney sleeping fitfully as the morning sun rose. The true horror that he had foretold distressed them both deeply. Babbington, in the first flush of new love could not bear the idea of being parted from his wife and could feel the agonies Sidney described. Crowe, a wily business man, despaired at Tom’s ineptitude.   
They breakfasted together at Crowe’s Gentleman’s club, spurred to do all they could to save Sidney from his fate.   
Babbington had long been searching for the perfect gift for his new wife and had struck upon the idea of a Summer House in Sanditon, in sight of the coves. It would be their summer residence. By summer next Lady Susan would have her Villa and Sanditon’s place in fashionable society would be assured.  
Crowe had long needed to extricate himself from too much society in London, and his flourishing business needed expansion. He would open his next Gentleman’s Club in Sanditon. He had had quite enough of the dreary Tavern and could not step inside it with ease or pleasure.   
There was unfortunately the problem of Tom’s mismanagement of funds. Neither gentleman wanted to advance sums to Tom to begin their projects as they felt, quite rightly, funds would be squandered.   
So the plan came together. Sidney would be the man for the job. His excellent and prospering Rum distillery business showed how reliable he was at financial management. But how to rest control of the finances from Tom without causing a family rift? This is where Babbington knew his clever wife would be able to help. Esther would explain the situation with great delicacy to Lady Denham. She knew of the financial status of Tom’s business and had threatened him with bankruptcy. She had been placated by the additional investment that would come from Sidney’s marriage to Eliza. But it was believed she knew little of the circumstances of the hearts involved in the bargain.   
The following morning Babbington travelled with Esther, back to Sanditon with the plan. Lady Denham would be persuaded that Sidney was the better man to uphold and protect her investment, since it would be his investment that completed the project and would give her the return she craved. Lady Denham, a fiercesome and forthright woman would have no compunction in telling Tom that his days handling the blunt were well and truly over. He could be dispensed a small income, and for that he would continue to oversee his dream, bring forth new ideas and promote Sanditon exactly as before. All other responsibility would be removed from him and Sidney would be given that burden. Since the wedding of Esther to Lord Babbington, Lady Denham had had a rather Damascene conversion from her fierce and stinging nature. Still sharp witted and sharp tongued, she rather liked to tease and she especially liked to meddle, believing herself far more able to direct the lives of those around her, than they were able to do for themselves. Babbington was sure she would see the sense in their plan.


	48. Eliza visits Lady Susan

Good to her word, Lady Susan sent a note to Eliza inviting her to tea at her palatial home in Kensington Gardens. Eliza felt a rush of excitement as she climbed the steps to Lady Susan’s front door.   
Eliza had finally arrived. No more the least liked girl at school, she was finally a lady of importance, friends with the right sort. Sidney of course had been the one to open doors for her originally. His good looks and easy charm made him the most popular man in their circle, and Eliza had basked in the glow of his affability. Now her wedding to him would confirm her place in society. The richest widow married to the most handsome, eligible and sought after man. How jealous would everyone be!   
Eliza was shown into the Orangery, a huge glasshouse off the main drawing room, filled with lemon and orange trees. Eliza made a mental note to add an Orangery to Berkeley Square.   
Lady Susan entered the room, and welcomed Eliza. She called for tea and asked after Eliza’s health.   
Eliza was utterly thrilled to have a private audience with Lady Susan.   
“Please do sit down Mrs Campion.”  
“It would give me the utmost pleasure if you were to call me Eliza, Lady Susan.”  
“Eliza it is.” Susan smiled benignly at Eliza. She did not however, offer her the same informality.   
“So as I understand it we have a wedding date to plan, an auspicious date that the whole beau monde can attend without conflicting with another society event? Roberts would you be so kind to fetch my diary from the library, please.”  
Smarting a little from the perceived insult from Lady Susan, Eliza frowned briefly then thought it best to ignore the slight and get her wedding date into Lady Susan’s diary.   
Roberts returned with a very large, gilt edged book that looked more like a ledger from its size, but owned by a king from its gilding. He placed it on a table of its own, open on today’s date, with Lady Susan’s script showing Eliza’s invitation to tea.   
“Now do you have a season in mind? Or a month perhaps?”  
Eliza had one aim for her wedding date, that it be remembered for its opulence for years to come. That is was attended by the very highest of society and the wealthiest. The ladies looked through the endless days of the diary, mostly filled with parties, luncheons, balls, shooting weekends, sporting events, musical soirées, dinners, weddings, sailing and hunts.   
Lady Susan turned to Eliza. “There is a great fashion in Paris as I understand for Winter weddings.”  
“Unfortunately the silks I have ordered for my dress will not arrive in the country before May, so this winter is impossible.” Eliza liked the idea of doing something so achingly fashionable but it was impossible.  
“Oh my dear, I was thinking of next Michaelmas for your wedding, not this one.”  
“Lady Susan, that would be such a long time for me to wait. My heart breaks daily that I am not by my Sidney’s side. If I could walk down the aisle with him tomorrow, in a simple country church I would. But everyone expects so much more from me.” Eliza tried looking tearful, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.   
Lady Susan looked thoughtful.  
“I am building a new Villa, at the coast. It will be my palace for entertaining. I would be so pleased to hold your wedding in my chapel and grounds, with grand celebration in the Ballroom. Would that suit you?” Lady Susan kindly held Eliza’s hand, although there was a steely look in her eye. She was far better at pretence than Eliza.   
“Oh Lady Susan I would be greatly honoured. That’s is so very kind.” Eliza gushed. Having her wedding hosted by such a high society socialite would ensure it was talked about. She might even have a Royal guest! The idea made Eliza almost faint, her heart beating so fast.   
“Well that is settled then. The Villa will be ready at the end of the summer. We will plan the date for the 22nd September. You have just ten short months to get ready my dear.”  
Eliza quite giddy at the thought of the Prince Regent attending her wedding and Lady Susan ensuring its success, started to wonder how exactly, she now had ten, very long, months to wait. Her dress would take a month to fashion after the silk and pearls arrived, but then, the summer did seem to be full of endless events that she could not possibly conflict with. Some very influential families were on tours during this time too. So, yes, it had to be late summer. She accepted it with a little sigh.   
“Oh Lady Susan, your Villa. You didn’t say where on the coast it is being built?” Eliza wanted to clarify details before regaling her friends with her marvellous news.   
“Why Sanditon of course. I imagined Sidney had mentioned it.” Susan smiled a little smugly at Eliza, and enjoyed how her face flicked from joyful to sour in a second. Eliza felt she had been drenched in icy Sanditon seawater. Overjoyed one moment, then rather put out the next. Eliza huffed, Sidney would be happy she had deferred to his wish for Sanditon. And there was still the distinct possibility of a royal wedding guest!   
Departing from Lady Susan, Eliza could not wait to tell Sidney the favourable news. She directed her driver straight to Bedford Place.


	49. A Pagoda

Meanwhile Sidney suffered on. He knew nothing of the plans and machinations of his dearest friends. His embarrassment would have been the end of him. Instead his mind was consumed with Stringer and Charlotte. He thought back on the Ball before the fire. Stringer dancing with Charlotte, ensuring he did not get the opportunity. Only when she had managed to slip from his grasp, had they a moment together on the Balcony. In Sidney’s misery, he contemplated whether Stringer had deliberately kept her from him. Sadly the nightly imbibing of too much whisky was delivering Sidney into paranoia.   
Sidney sent a letter inviting Stringer to visit him. It was with a mind to designing a pagoda for the garden at Berkeley Square which would be built for the engagement party. It was Sidney’s gift to his bride. Charlotte had said he should make her happy, and Sidney could not let Charlotte down. Providing a gift was part of his duty.   
The burning question for Sidney was, what had occurred to take Stringer to Willingden. He could only imagine the worst, but imagining was more tortuous than knowing. He needed to know for certain.   
Mr Stringer was shown into Sidney’s study at the top of Bedford Place. Sidney favoured a light airy room with many windows, overlooking Russell Square.   
He was rather aghast as a very finely dressed Mr Stringer entered. Sidney called for tea and the two men sat down to discuss business. Sidney explained the reason for his patronage, the commissioning of his engagement gift. A Pagoda to be built in the garden at Berkeley Square while the refurbishments were underway.  
James was exceedingly pleased to be given such an auspicious commission. He was well aware of Eliza’s standing in society and her many parties. His work would be seen by all her fine friends.   
James looked at Sidney. He looked much older than when he’d last seen him at Sanditon on the night of the fateful ball. He looked weary, gaunt with a grey pallor. His eyes looked unseeing, as if elsewhere. The heavy weight of responsibility, James considered. Or was it more. He’d seen the same faraway look in Charlotte’s eyes, more fleetingly, during his visit to Willingden.   
Together they discussed the design of the Pagoda and Sidney forwarded a bankers draft for part payment towards the building. James was thrilled and could not contain himself. His letters to Alison were well received and her replies frequent and encouraging. He was very hopeful of being in a position to ask for her hand quite soon. The payment from Sidney ensured it. James jumped up, thought to hug Sidney, thought better of it, and pumped his hand warmly instead. James gushed “Mr Parker, I can never thank you enough. I am in the happy position of having the esteem of a young lady very dear to my heart. I have recently met her family and believe they think well of me. Your kindness and patronage have brought me closer to my aim of asking her to be my wife.”  
Sidney sank back into his chair, feeling like Stringer had just shot him through the heart. No, the mortal wound had been inflicted by his own hand, Stringer had just been the gun that delivered the bullet. Unable to move, or speak, Sidney drained of all colour slumped in his chair as Stringer continued to effuse. He promised to have the plans ready very soon. Sidney felt done for, in a chair he was unable to raise himself from.   
Sidney remained in his chair for the rest of the afternoon slowly drinking himself into oblivion. It was true. Stringer was to marry Charlotte. He’d make her happy, probably happier than Sidney could. Stringer was kind, cheerful and sweet tempered, unlike Sidney. So whatever he, Sidney, felt about it, he deserved. He’d brought this all on himself. He looked into his future of endless socialising with Eliza, feeling like an outlier, a spare cog in her clock, to be dragged out and gawped at by the silly young things Eliza surrounded herself with. The bored married ladies who would give him a certain knowing look of interest. He could always take some pleasure there. He shuddered at the thought. A life in an expensive gilded cage entertaining bored women. How had it come to this?

The door bell rang and from the commotion Sidney could tell Eliza had arrived. She appeared, very flushed, at the Study door, having dashed up the stairs in excitement. She ignored the fact that Sidney appeared to have slept in a chair for days, and announced her news.  
“Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. Fabulous news. Lady Susan and I have set the date for our wedding.”  
Sidney tried to concentrate but an odd image of Eliza marrying Lady Susan had come into mind. He really had to stop drinking.   
Eliza didn’t notice his puzzled look, or the fact that he hadn’t bothered to st; the and up as she’d entered the room.   
“It’s to be 22nd September. And Lady Susan is doing us the utmost honour of hosting our wedding in her new Villa. In Sanditon! Are you pleased? Do say you are pleased? It’s what you wanted, a Sanditon wedding. I really couldn’t deny you your wish, my dearest heart.” Eliza was still bouncing around the room with excitement, which made Sidney’s eyes hurt. His brain was slowly processing what she had said.   
Wedding. 22nd September.  
“Eliza, it’s November?”  
“Yes I know darling, it’s an absolute age, and waiting will be torture. But this really was the only date that was completely free and soon it will be in everyone’s diary. Lady Susan says a late summer wedding is very fashionable and long engagements make for exceedingly happy marriages. Something about having to wait.”  
Sidney had a feeling Lady Susan’s influence on this decision was being made somehow in his best interests, he just couldn’t work out how.   
“Sanditon?”  
“Isn’t it marvellous! Lady’s Susan’s new Villa and grounds will be at our disposal. And you never know who might be staying! It was so kind of her to offer. I didn’t realise it was being built in Sanditon. What a very fortunate coincidence. Don’t you think?”  
Sidney allowed himself a wry smile. Lady Susan was definitely up to some sort of shenanigans.   
Luckily for Sidney, Eliza was too excited to stay long and dashed off to spread the glorious news far and wide.   
Ten months of freedom, before being tied to Eliza for the rest of his life. Ten months of drinking to soothe the pain. Charlotte came to mind, and her disapproving face at his drunkenness. She really would be disappointed in this shabby Sidney. For her, he would endeavour to do better.


	50. Mary’s Letter

A week after the Willoughbys’ Picnic, Mary received a letter from her youngest sister Anne. It began:

Dear Mary,  
I understand very great congratulations are in order! I recently attended the Willoughbys’ in Mayfair, on the occasion of a evening candlelit Picnic. It was a most grand affair. I happened to speak with Eliza Campion and she informed me of the happy news, that dear Sidney and Mrs Campion are betrothed. How excited you must be Mary, for this happy occasion, so long in the making. Eliza has promised the wedding will be on a scale not yet seen and we are all to be invited.   
Unfortunately I was not able to congratulate Sidney on his happiness. It seems he was quite unwell and left the party early, accompanied by Lord Babbington and the very amusing Mr Crowe. I hope his health returns to him shortly.   
Without wishing to cause any scandal, I impart this to you as my dear sister, I know how very deeply you care for Sidney. Mr Parker seems to be suffering a shocking affliction. He appears very gaunt and has on a number of social occasions collapsed in full view of his hosts. Mrs Campion expressed her concerns to me in private. I hope that you are in a position to intervene. I have been most concerned that it might be the beginning of the ill health that afflicted him last time Eliza was known to Sidney. Good luck, my dearest. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance.   
Your ever loving  
Anne. 

Mary put down the letter and cried. That blasted woman was doing it again. She had brought no happiness to Sidney when they were young, even when they were first in love. She made him miserable then with her unreliable behaviour, and was it possible it was happening again? Mary of course knew of his regard for Charlotte, but hoped Sidney was able to put this aside to make the fortuitous match the family now desperately needed. Perhaps this was asking too much of him. Perhaps his sadness was making him ill. Mary had to speak to Tom.  
Over dinner Mary raised the subject of Anne’s letter.   
“I’m very distressed Tom. I believe Sidney is extremely unhappy. You know full well he would not be engaged to Eliza, if it wasn’t for your debts.”  
“Oh come now Mary. We all know Sidney gets drunk sometimes. Comes from hanging about with Crowe. No harm in it.”  
Mary got very cross. Tom was always dismissing the very obvious for his own rose coloured version of the world.  
“There is harm. There is very grave harm!”  
Charlotte is broken hearted and won’t come to Sanditon to visit. Sidney is drinking himself into an early grave to avoid being married to that woman. All for you. And Sanditon!”  
Tom was astounded. Rarely did Mary raise her voice, or contradict him. She was always equable and even tempered. He looked at her across the table, her eyes blazing, with unspent tears.   
“It’s starting again, and you can’t see it. We nearly lost him last time. This time could well be worse!”  
Greatly moved by Mary’s outburst, Tom thought back to the last time Sidney’s behaviour had been cause for concern. He’d been so in love with Eliza, but she had been free with her attentiveness, sometimes dutifully at his side, and sometimes conspicuous in her absence. Sidney would always excuse her behaviour, saying she was visiting or unwell. Occasionally she would appear accompanied by another, much to the distress of Sidney. Whatever was going on this time, Tom had the solution.   
“Mary, perhaps you are right, indeed you are right, as always. I think some time is required for Sidney to think through his actions. If he is unwell, a spell in a better climate will suit him most well. What is it that Dr Fuchs always says? ‘The sea air, better than any medicine’. I suggest a trip to Antigua for him. A spell away will do him the world of good.”  
The following day Tom, accompanied by Mary, departed for London. Mary did not trust Tom with their plan and wanted to see for herself how ill or unhappy Sidney was.   
They arrived at Bedford Place at midday, to find Sidney still sleeping off a hangover. They took the opportunity to discuss their plan with Diana and Arthur. Sidney could not be trusted to travel alone.  
“Diana, we think it most wise if you travel to Antigua with Sidney. Make sure he rests, gets some air. It does appear he is unwell. Have you been diligent in looking after him? It would not appear so.” Tom knew how to get around Diana, appeal to her need to nurse.   
“I am so glad brother dear. He has been so pale these last months, he rises late, he comes home very late and oft can be heard crashing about until the early hours. I don’t know what to make of it.” Diana seemed very distressed by Sidney’s behaviour.  
Arthur spoke up. “I should like to accompany Sidney. I require some stimulation and Antigua sounds just the ticket.”  
Diana looked horrified “But Arthur, your sea sickness, I cannot allow it. You will be ill.”  
“Diana, I managed very well in the rowing race. Not a trace of my normal sea sickness. I do believe I am cured.”  
Tom sprang to his feet. “Very well, both of you will accompany him. It will be marvellous. Splendid.”

Sidney sat in his study at the top of the house. He was aware Tom and Mary had arrived. Bates had woken him. He didn’t yet feel human enough to greet them. Bates brought him his morning coffee. He had long given up breakfast as it seemed to upset his digestion. Sidney stared out of the window, sipped a black coffee, tears pricking his eyes as he thought of Charlotte. She would be so disappointed in him. He wasn’t making Eliza happy, nor keeping his promise to Charlotte. He was no longer her much improved Sidney. He was a different man. A lesser man.   
Sidney stared across the tree tops and back into his coffee cup. An idea came to him.   
Colonel Lambe had left Sidney a large track of empty land which had belonged to his estate, but would be too much for Georgiana to manage. Sidney used a small part of it to run the distillery and house his workers. The rest, rising up to an inactive volcano was left unused. Sidney would start growing coffee. He knew his workers farmed parts of this land and coffee trees seemed to grow exceptionally well. He would add coffee production to his rum business. Immediately galvanised by his new motivation Sidney bounded down the stairs to greet Tom and Mary.


	51. Lady Denham’s Good Idea

Lady Denham, at the age of 89, was well aware that her time on this Earth was ever diminishing and with no children as a legacy, she wanted her lasting mark to be the first class seaside resort of Sanditon. Such was her anger with Tom who she had entrusted with her investment and her hope of a permanent legacy.   
It was time to put plans in place to ensure her investment was saved. Tom was certainly not the man for the job. He was enthusiastic, that could not be denied, but he had no financial skills. Lady Denham knew it was Mary controlling the purse strings since the fire. The workers had been paid off and let go, except for just two who continued to work. At this rate she would be 104 before the building works were finished.   
Lady Denham wrote out a new business agreement for her joint venture with Tom, and a new will.   
She realised she was going against convention, but had long since dispensed with doing the accepted thing. She had managed her estate and her own money for many years. Lady Denham felt enormously pleased with her decision and her new contract.  
It was with great surprise and great joy that she welcomed the unexpected arrival of Lord and Lady Babbington to Sanditon House.   
After an afternoon of reacquaintance, walks in the park and a viewing of the new dining room floor, Esther requested some time with Lady Denham.   
“Now Aunt, you know I have no patience to play games. We will come straight to the point. My very clever husband has a plan. We would like our own summer house to be built in Sanditon. However we will not be handing over payment to Tom Parker whose schemes have almost bankrupted his family. We would like to suggest that you remove all responsibility from Tom for the financial matters involved in Sanditon and transfer this responsibility to Mr Sidney Parker.”  
Lady Denham smiled to herself. What a very clever niece she had, she’d learned well.   
“The Mr Sidney Parker who is very unstable and unreliable? From what I know of him I won’t hold my breath.” Lady Denham attempted her stern look but wasn’t quite able to muster it.   
“We believe him to be much improved. And I can personally vouch for his good character and financial expertise.” Babbington couldn’t help himself.   
Lady Denham snorted a laugh “good character indeed.”  
Lady Denham looked at the happy, expectant faces of her guests.   
“Well my dears, I shall think on your proposal. I hope you have come to stay for a few days?”

Arranging Antigua 

For the first time since loosing Charlotte, Sidney felt hopeful. He had a purpose. Tom was of course right. He needed a change of scene. The idea of travelling with Diana and Arthur pleased him. He had spent so long away from his family, he had missed Arthur growing up. During the recent Sanditon summer, he had been equally amused and astounded by his younger brother. Arthur was a very unexpected man. He had grown into a fine wit, a sensitive soul with a very astute understanding of people. Sidney was looking forward to shaking Diana out of her stupor too. She needed to see new sights and realise there was a world to enjoy beyond Bedford Place.   
Sidney set about organising their passage. They would leave in a week.   
A formal missive arrived from Lady Denham. An invitation to meet with her. Always a cloud, thought Sidney, his eyes rolling involuntarily. He decided to take the small cabriolet, for speed, travel in the early morning, rest the horses and depart in the early evening. No need to stay overnight, especially as there was too much to do to get ready for the trip. He would have time to see Georgiana and the children.  
Sidney informed Eliza he would be away to Sanditon for business. Eliza had tea arranged with the Fortesques, so waved him away without a second thought. Until later. While out riding in Hyde Park, Eliza happened to notice the rowers on the Serpentine. How they moved in synchronicity. A memory bit into her mind. That girl. Was that why Sidney was away to Sanditon? She shook the thought from her head. If he was going to see her, surely one day was not enough. It must be a meeting with Tom, which would be dull and tiresome, no wonder he wasn’t staying long. Since he had announced his trip to Antigua, being away for possibly three whole months, Eliza had fretted. Worried that she might loose him once again. She wasn’t sure where the feeling of this disquiet came from, but something stirred her to worry. He was not attentive, seemed trapped in his own world, his worries laying heavy on his shoulders. She wasn’t blind. Eliza decided Sidney wasn’t deserving of her peppery nature. She set her mind to do better. 

The Babbingtons, Russell Square  
A letter arrived from Lady Denham, instructing Esther and Babbington to come to Sanditon House.   
There were no further details. Babbington was extremely pleased. The old dear must have made up her mind to do something about Tom.


	52. Charlotte and Alison visit Sanditon

Charlotte received a very formal looking letter, written in a hand she did not recognise. It was from Lady Denham and it requested her attendance for a meeting and tea.   
Charlotte was certain she didn’t want to visit Sanditon. She didn’t want to encounter Sidney. Unsure of what to do, Charlotte did not reply immediately. The following day, a letter from Mary arrived. It enquired whether Charlotte had received a missive from Lady D and if she would care to, she could stay at Trafalgar House for the duration of her stay. The letter went on to say the house was quiet without her, as they had no guests and were not expecting any. Charlotte hoped this meant Sidney was not visiting. She was still reluctant to accept the invitation as Sidney had a habit of popping up when least expected.   
As luck would have it, Alison received a letter from James with news that he would be in Sanditon that very week. Alison could not contain her excitement at the fateful news and begged Charlotte to ask Mary if she could visit also. Charlotte knew the trip was unavoidable. She couldn’t let Lady Denham down and was quite intrigued with what she might want from her.  
Mary was of course delighted to have both Charlotte and Alison stay. The girls packed their finest things and were collected by Tom’s carriage, arriving in Sanditon on a sunny autumnal afternoon.   
Alison was more excited than she had ever been. The stories Charlotte had told her, were coming alive before her own eyes. The majestic Trafalgar House, the long golden sands, the beautiful cliffs, and then the sad sight of the blackened, broken, soot covered terrace.   
Mary welcomed them inside and showed them to the room Charlotte had stayed in before, now with two sumptuous beds.   
“I hope you’ll be comfortable here. I thought you’d feel more at home sharing. Do tell me if you’d rather not.” Mary looked concerned, but needn’t have worried. Charlotte and Alison were both thrilled. Charlotte, to be back in the room she loved, and Alison to share the room she knew had been her sister’s home.   
After unpacking, Charlotte and Alison took tea with Mary.   
Tom and Mary had also received a letter from Lady Denham requesting their attendance at a meeting tomorrow.   
“It’s most unlike Lady Denham. I wonder what she is up to.” Mary was as bemused as Charlotte.   
The door bell rang and Mr Stringer was shown into the drawing room. Mary hadn’t seen him recently and was as astonished by this new improved Mr Stringer, as Charlotte had been.   
“I hope you don’t mind me inviting Mr Stringer to tea?” Mary looked enquiringly at Alison who had blushed redder than her red dress. Poor James looked very shy. He had only ever been inside Trafalgar House on one occasion, his father’s accident. Fortunately Tom joined the ladies for tea, and kept the conversation flowing with ideas and plans for Sanditon. James and Alison shared shy smiles over cake and sandwiches.   
After a while listening to Tom’s idea that Sanditon needed the longest pier on the south coast, Charlotte needed some air. Alison caught her eye also. A look that said she’d had quite enough.  
“I think I shall visit Georgiana. Perhaps Alison and Mr Stringer would care to walk with me?” Both readily agreed and they left Trafalgar House. Outside Charlotte spoke to James.   
“Alison would very much like to see the sea, James, perhaps you could accompany her?” Both Alison and James looked thrilled at the prospect of some time alone to walk and speak without company. They set off in the direction of the beach.   
Charlotte had not had time to write to Georgiana to inform her of her visit, so it came as a complete surprise to Georgiana when she walked in. They were both so pleased to see each other that there were many tears, both happy and sad. After some time they caught up with news; Mr Stringer and Alison, Lady Susan’s Villa, Lady Denham’s mysterious letter.  
“What can the old dragon want?” Georgiana looked thoughtful.   
“All will be revealed tomorrow.”  
Charlotte tentatively asked of news of Sidney.   
“He hasn’t visited or written since you left.” Georgiana looked quite downcast and sad.   
“I know I’m a nuisance to him, but he did say he would try to be a better guardian.”   
“I’m sure he is just very busy with his errr plans, and after the fire ...” Charlotte couldn’t make herself say the word ‘wedding’. She was starting to feel rather overcome, this was the first time she had spoken his name aloud since leaving Sanditon. Charlotte changed the subject.   
“What of Reverend Hankins?” Georgiana giggled “I’m certain he will be here soon, for his afternoon tea.”


	53. Meeting Lady Denham

Charlotte had an uneasy feeling the next morning. In truth she’d had an uneasy feeling since arriving in Sanditon. She would startle each time the door bell sounded. Even walking over the dunes and down to the sea had not calmed her. Every tall gentleman made her catch her breath, but it was never him, thankfully.   
Tom suggested a carriage ride to Sanditon House, as it was a fine bracing day, with a healthy sea breeze. Mary and Charlotte agreed it was blowing a gale. Arriving at Sanditon House, they were shown into the dining room. Lady Denham sat at the head of the table, Esther was to her left with Babbington next to her. Charlotte grew very nervous indeed, what was Lord Babbington was doing there, hopefully just a family visit. He looked as surprised to see her, but welcomed her warmly. “How very nice to see you Miss Heywood.”  
Charlotte took her place, to the right of Lady Denham, Mary sat next to her, and then Tom.   
There was silence. Lady Denham looked around the table. She looked displeased. Tom decided to speak. “Lady Denham, I have some marvellous plans for the pier. The longest and finest..”  
“I shall not hear another word from you!” Under her breath, so only Charlotte heard, she muttered “you ninny.”  
At that moment in strode Sidney. Charlotte turned pale, her stomach flipped, her mind a complete blank. Sidney saw Charlotte and his purposeful stride faultered. He managed to save himself from awkwardly crashing to the floor, but only just. Lady Denham motioned for him to sit next to Babbington.   
Sidney cleared his throat. “Sorry to be late Lady Denham. Better late than never.” She gave him an icy stare.  
“Slightly better” sniggered Babbington.   
Charlotte kept her eyes fixed on the pile of papers before her. She had no wish to catch Sidney’s eye.   
Lady Denham began.  
“I expect you are wondering why I have called you all here.” Tom spoke up.   
“Intrigued Lady Denham, I’m sure ..” Lady Denham raised her hand to silence him.  
“We have matters of business to discuss. I have drawn up a new contractual agreement between myself and Parker Developments. This supersedes all previous contracts.”  
“Err Lady D...” Tom attempted another interruption.   
He drew the glares of everyone around the table. He stopped and was silent.  
“I shall continue. From this day forth Mr Tom Parker is relieved of all financial responsibility. You will remain as the spokesperson for Sanditon and limit your input to promotion and ideas.”  
Tom’s jaw dropped open, but he made no sound.  
Charlotte wondered why on Earth she was there.  
“All financial responsibility passes to Mr Sidney Parker.” It was Sidney’s turn to look aghast. Babbington started to grin.   
“The finances of the company will be held in trust.  
I have appointed a number of Trustees, who, with unanimous agreement will release funds to Mr Sidney Parker, to manage the works and continue development. These trustees are Lord and Lady Babbington, Mrs Mary Parker and Miss Charlotte Heywood.” There were gasps all round. Charlotte wasn’t sure if she understood what any of that meant.  
“Mrs Mary Parker and Miss Charlotte Heywood, will receive an annual income of one thousand pounds.”  
Lady Denham had managed the finances of her estate since she was married. She saw no reason why other women could not do the same. Women were, after all, far more reliable and prudent than men.   
“Payment to Mr Sidney Parker will be the provision of Denham Place, currently in a state of sad disrepair. There will also be an annual income of two thousand pounds for refurbishment and upkeep of Denham Place. Mr Parker, you will make this your main residence.”  
Lady Denham sat back and surveyed the shocked faces around the table, with great delight. They hadn’t been expecting this at all!   
“You will find all the particulars in the contracts before you. Please read them thoroughly. Now, I believe it is time for tea.”  
Charlotte was so shocked, she had temporarily forgotten about the proximity of Sid. ney. She lifted her contract and studied it carefully, then thought it a viable shield between her and Mr Parker. She remained hidden behind it as tea was served. The general conversation whirled around her and she took none of it in. Charlotte was having the most remarkable day. Sidney Parker and one thousand pounds. Nothing made sense to poor Charlotte. All she wanted to do was escape to her room and think on what she had just heard.   
Sidney was processing all he’d heard also. Now with this responsibility, he could well be the one going to jail. On the positive, the idea of owning Denham Place was a pleasant surprise. It was a beautiful building in need of some very fine restoration. It would certainly make a wonderful family home. Sidney realised he was picturing it as his home, but not with Eliza. He could not clear his mind of the thought of it as a family residence with Charlotte. The picture was so clear in his mind. Seeing her again so unexpectedly, he’d realised he had forgotten how beautiful she was. But her face had been turned away from him, and now his view was obstructed by her damned contract. She was certainly studying it closely.   
As tea was served, there was general conversation, much agreement that Lady Denham’s idea was immensely sound, and lots of questions. Only Tom and Charlotte did not speak.   
Both wanted to leave swiftly. Tom made the first move to leave.  
“Errr thank you Lady Denham, for your hospitality, marvellous. We shall speak soon. Come along Mary.”  
Mary thanked Lady Denham profusely. She whole heartedly agreed with her, and was very glad to have been given her husband back.   
Charlotte stepped up to say goodbye. “Lady Denham, I don’t think I can, I’m not sure I want...”  
“Nonsense. You are a sharp one Miss Heywood. I am right. What say you Mr Parker?” Sidney stepped towards them both. But Charlotte bobbed quickly and rather scuttled out.   
Sidney thanked Lady Denham.   
“Look after the old place Mr Parker. That house is very dear to me. I began my married life there and we were very happy.”  
“I will do it justice Lady Denham.” He gave her a deep and flourishing bow. He left, followed by Babbington and the two walked in the grounds to discuss Lady Denham’s contract.  
“Babbers, what do you know of all this?” Sidney sensed the hand of Babbington was involved.  
“Absolutely nothing I swear it.” But Babbington was a poor liar and Sidney slapped him on the back.   
“Well I suggested to the old girl she put you in charge, but that was all. I knew nothing of the rest of it.”


	54. Seeing Georgiana

Sidney left Lady Denham’s meeting with much to think on. Instead, he thought of Charlotte. How shocked she had looked to see him. How she avoided his gaze, had not greeted him, nor said goodbye. Perhaps this was the best way. Soon they would both be married, to others, and any conversation between them would be merely perfunctory. Sidney felt the familiar pain and considered going straight to the Tavern. He decided against it, and went instead to visit Georgiana.   
Georgiana was extraordinarily moved to see Sidney and threw herself into his arms. Then remembering herself, she quickly withdrew.  
“What are you doing here?” She attempted to sound unconcerned.   
“Since you ask, I have come to bring you news that I shall be away some three months. I am travelling to Antigua.”  
Georgiana bounced to her feet. “Take me! Oh Sidney you must! You cannot possibly go without me.”  
In all honesty Sidney had not given Georgiana a thought, or the fact that she might want to visit her home with him.   
“Are you sure? You know how arduous the journey is.” He could see how desperately she needed the trip, almost as much as he did. He was in no mind to deny her.   
“Please Sidney, please, I beg. I will do everything you ask.”  
“Well in that case, I suggest you pack. We set sail in a week.”  
It had been a very long time since Georgiana had hugged Sidney. She had been quite small and her father had still been alive. He recalled, it had been as he recovered from his fever and she had been scared for his health. Sidney was glad of the sudden affection. It healed a small part of his heart.   
Leaving Georgiana in a flurry of excitement, Sidney needed some time to collect his many thoughts. A walk along the cliffs was very much to his taste. How would Tom be feeling? And Mary? It was marvellous that Charlotte had been given an income. Her marriage would be prosperous.  
As Sidney walked looking over the cliffs, he spotted Stringer walking towards him, with Charlotte. Sidney sighed. There was no avoiding them on the tiny cliff path. There was nothing for it but to greet them amicably and wish them well. Sidney walked on, studying his feet or looking out to sea, anything but watch the happy couple walk towards him.   
“Good day Mr Parker” a very affable sounding Stringer greeted him.   
Sidney stopped “Good day Mr Stringer.” He couldn’t make himself look at Charlotte.  
“I’d like to introduce you to Miss Heywood, Mr Parker.”  
Bemused Sidney dragged his eyes over to Charlotte. Only it wasn’t Charlotte. Same brown curls, same brown eyes, but different, smaller, quieter.  
“Miss err?” Sidney leant in to take a closer look.  
Alison knew exactly who he was.  
“Alison Heywood, Mr Parker, very pleased to make your acquaintance.” She was perhaps even more confident and forthright than Charlotte. She bobbed prettily.  
Sidney gasped a lung full of air. “Miss Heywood, of course Miss Heywood! Mr Stringer has spoken of you.” Sidney replied too loudly.  
Alison blushed. Sidney wanted to jump up and down. Alison! Of course it was Alison. Not Charlotte. Not his Charlotte. Sidney beamed a very wide smile at Stringer, shook his hand in a most vigorous manner, slapped his shoulder in a more than familiar way, gave a quick bow and bade them good day. Waiting an almost full two seconds, Sidney ran. Running as fast as he could to the Coves, hat and coat in his hand, leaping over the high tufts of marram grass. He ran all the way until completely spent. Once at the Coves, he caught his breath and decided sea bathing was in order.   
The bracing shock of the autumnal sea felt very welcome to Sidney, so cold his skin burned. The ocean bore him up as he gave himself to it, fearlessly. He struggled with his feeling of elation. Charlotte was not Stringer’s intended. Regardless, she was still not his. Nothing had changed. But none the less, Sidney could not help feeling euphoric. He dressed quickly, and discreetly, checking for walkers, then marched smartly to Trafalgar House.   
Mary and Charlotte sat together in the library, overlooking the Square. Deep in conversation over the morning’s remarkable news from Lady Denham and what it would mean for them both. Behind Mary, through the window, Charlotte saw the tall figure of Sidney approaching. Charlotte turned ashen.   
“Are you well Charlotte, you appear quite pale?” Mary looked concerned.   
“Forgive me, Mary, this room is rather too hot. I am finding it hard to breathe.” Charlotte fled to her room. She could not and would not face Sidney.   
At that moment the door bell rang and a fresh faced Sidney walked in. Mary was thrilled to welcome him. It had been difficult to speak openly at Sanditon House as the mood had been rather tense. Tom appeared from his study, looking forlorn. The brothers needed some time together to contemplate the effect of Lady Denham’s decisions. They secreted themselves away and had the sort of discussion only close family are able. Sidney knew how best to lift the spirits of his disappointed older sibling. He pronounced   
“I cannot claim to understand the workings of Lady Ds mind, but she has done you a great service. You are Mr Tom Parker, public face of Sanditon, head of Parker Developments, synonymous with the popularity of this fine resort. She has removed the burdens that constrained you. Nothing else has changed. She has returned you to Mary, and the children. You should be in great heart.”  
“Yes I expect you are right, brother dear.” Tom seemed slightly cheered.   
“And what of your house guests?” Sidney could not help himself. He tried very hard to look disinterested, just making polite conversation, but he wanted news of Charlotte.   
“I think Charlotte is a little overcome by Lady Denham’s news, she is resting. Her sister, Alison is out walking with Mr Stringer. We are hopeful of some good news soon. I hope you meet Alison before they leave. She’s so like Charlotte, but not.” Mary looked excited at the prospect of another engagement. She did not enquire after Eliza.   
Sidney blushed red remembering his rather embarrassing display on the cliffs.


	55. A Walk with Tom

Time was moving on and Sidney wanted away to London before night fall. He collected Georgiana from Mrs Griffiths’ lodgings.   
“I have to see Charlotte! I must say goodbye.”  
A little vexed by a delay to his plans, Sidney drove Georgiana to Trafalgar House. But he too hoped to see Charlotte before the trip.   
Alison was with Mary in the drawing room, showing her some intricate embroidery.  
“Where’s Charlotte?” Georgiana was far too impatient and excited to be polite.  
“Resting in her ..” Georgiana ran up the stairs to Charlotte’s room. She stopped suddenly in the doorway, stunned to see Charlotte gazing out of the window with tears running down her cheeks.  
“Are you alright? What is it? What’s the matter? Charlotte?”  
Georgiana rushed to her, wrapping her arms around her and holding her as she sobbed silently. After some minutes Charlotte recovered.  
“I’m sorry. It’s just.... being back here.”  
Georgiana couldn’t contain her excitement to enquire further. Her news would be enough to brighten Charlotte.  
“Well I have the most marvellous news and I need to share it with you now!”  
Downstairs Sidney called up.  
“Georgiana we need to leave!” He sounded impatient, he wanted her to hurry, and bring Charlotte downstairs with her. Charlotte startled at his voice.   
“Leave?”  
“Yes. Isn’t it marvellous. We are away to Antigua.”  
Charlotte sat down heavily. What did this mean? Was he married? Was he leaving forever? Would he come back?  
“Who err?”   
“Sidney, Arthur and Diana. Sidney thought it would be more respectable to travel together. And more fun. I just can’t wait to see my home again.” So not yet married thought Charlotte, a sigh escaped. 

Downstairs Sidney was introduced to Alison.  
“Sidney, do come and meet Miss Alison Heywood.”  
Sidney managed a half smile, the one where his mouth twitches into an odd grimace. Alison curtsied, trying not to giggle.  
“We met earlier on the cliffs. I believe Mr Parker was in a hurry.” Alison found there was something very amusing in Mr Parker’s countenance that made her want to tease him. His awkwardness around her made her smile. This was the man Charlotte spoke of in her dreams, the one who danced with her in London, but was never mentioned again.   
Sidney blushed. He found the younger Miss Heywood rather direct.  
“Ah, ummm, embroidery, very good. Do you also play the piano?” Sidney had no idea how to make conversation with this spirited Miss. Her sharp eyes seemed to pierce him, she was immune to the charm that rendered most young ladies silent in his presence. 

“Georgiana!” A deep growl came from Sidney. Charlotte reluctantly allowed Georgiana to take her hand, drawing strength from her firm touch.   
They ran down the stairs. In the hall Sidney stood impassive but tapping his cane impatiently.   
Charlotte and Sidney’s eyes locked momentarily. She curtsied and he bowed very quickly, and they both turned from each other, their nearness quite intolerable. Sidney made his goodbyes, leaving Georgiana to hug Charlotte once more before leaving.  
Once peace descended on Trafalgar House, Mary asked to speak to Charlotte.  
“I wonder if you could do me a service my dear? Tom is quite out of sorts with the news from Lady Denham. Would you talk to him? I know he values your opinion. He has gone to walk over the dunes.”  
Charlotte was very grateful to have something useful to do, to distract from her thoughts.  
She caught up with Tom walking slowly over the sand, head bowed, deep in thought. As she reached him, she saw his cheeks were wet with tears.  
“Charlotte, my dear,” flustered, Tom wiped his face with his handkerchief. He sighed “I hardly know what to think anymore, Charlotte. I’ve always felt so certain of my judgement, but now I realise I was blinded by sentiment and ambition. I got it all wrong. No wonder Lady Denham has such a poor opinion of me.” Tom was downcast.  
“I am certain that is not the case. Lady Denham is an enigma but she is very kindhearted I think. She has recognised your talents in the development of Sanditon and has freed you of the burden you placed yourself under. Sidney was quite galvanised by the thought of his responsibilities. I’m sure you have no cause to doubt this is a good outcome.” Charlotte tried to sound convincing, but felt she was rather failing.  
“Quite right my dear. Sidney will doubtless return the business to it best merits. I must find myself a new role in the process.”  
“There is still so much to be done. I know Mr Stringer is attracting many new commissions in London. If he were to have an practice here in Sanditon, people would be drawn here to see his work. Could you perhaps offer him an office to conduct his practice from?”  
“My dear. What an idea! What a glorious idea. An office, in the Study, with drawings and sketches, to welcome guests. I can just picture it. It is a brilliant notion.” Tom felt positively inspired.   
“Let us tell Mr Stringer right this minute. No time to waste Charlotte.”  
With a spring in his step, Tom walked Charlotte to Mr Stringer’s home. James seemed a little embarrassed to have visitors in his humble home, but welcomed them nonetheless.  
Tom explained his proposition to Mr Stringer. An office to call his own, in Trafalgar House, in which he could welcome his patrons, show his works, take directions, and produce his fine drawings. James was utterly shocked but over the moon. A proper practice where fine ladies and gentlemen could visit him in comfortable and genteel surroundings.   
“Mr Parker, I can never thank you enough.”  
“Mr Stringer I have done you a great disservice. I underestimated your talent and I purloined your fine ideas, claiming them as my own. That was very wrong of me. I hope you can forgive me.” Tom looked earnestly into James’ face, needing forgiveness for everything that had happened between them. Tom hoped this would go some small way towards making amends.


	56. The Journey home to Willingden

Charlotte had lots to think about on her journey home. Unfortunately her thoughts were crowded out by the incessant chatter coming from Alison.  
“Mama and Papa will be so pleased about your income, don’t you think? What a very grand lady, Lady Denham is. I shall sketch the cliffs when I get home, before I forget how lovely they are. Oh did I say? We met Mr Sidney Parker on our walk. He’s a funny man.”  
Charlotte startled. The mention of him inevitably agitated her, but of all the words to describe Sidney, ‘funny’, was certainly not in Charlotte’s top ten.  
“Oh and what did he say to make you think so?” Charlotte fixed on appearing unconcerned, but was in fact desperately intrigued.   
“It wasn’t what he said. It was what he did. He appeared most dour and disagreeable when he greeted James. He completely forgot my name as soon as James spoke it, then peered at me with a very vexed expression, which became the widest of smiles. He shook James’ hand most vigorously and slapped him on the back virtually dislodging him from the cliff path. I’m glad I had his arm to steady him. As we looked to see where he was going, he ran and leaped like a mad March hare until he was out of sight. It quite made me laugh.”  
Charlotte tried to conjure up an image of tall, elegant, Sidney, leaping and was unable. She sighed. Such was his joy with Eliza no doubt.   
“Then in Trafalgar House he asked after my embroidery and if I played the piano? It was most odd.” A memory came to Charlotte of the first ball. It stung. Her eyes pricked with tears.   
“You like him, don’t you Charlotte? He is quite handsome I’ll admit, if a little strange.”  
“He is engaged Alison.” There were times when Charlotte wished her sister was not as astute as she was.   
“And what does that matter. You cannot cauterise your heart. If you love him, there will be a way.   
What gentleman travels all the way to Antigua while engaged?”  
Charlotte wondered the exact same, but would not be drawn to discuss it further. They turned into the courtyard. Alison leaped out of the carriage first “Mama, Papa, Charlotte is rich!”

Passage to Antigua   
At early dawn the party of bleary eyed Parkers and Georgiana embarked on their journey to Antigua. It would be an arduous journey crossing the Atlantic in late autumn. Sidney checked their quarters at the stern of the ship, close to the captain. Arthur went in search of the kitchens to introduce himself to the cook. Diana checked her luggage for the pills and potions she had bought from Dr Fuchs, for every eventuality. Georgiana stood on the deck watching England disappear over the horizon.   
The journey could possibly take four weeks if the wind wasn’t with them. Plenty of time to reflect thought Sidney as he watched the sun set over the starboard bow.   
The ship was a merchant vessel and they were the only passengers. They dined with the Captain and his first mate. It was a very civilised passage, but Sidney was on edge. With full responsibility for his siblings and Georgiana he found it hard to relax and would be pleased when they were on dry land again. Arthur embraced the adventure wholeheartedly. He enjoyed throwing bread into the air to feed the sea gulls. Seeing them swoop and catch their food thrilled Georgiana and she enjoyed Arthur’s daily morning spectacle. As the days passed they found ways of passing the time. Arthur and Georgiana discovered a shared love of chess and their games were competitive and spirited. After dinner, games of checkers and backgammon were played. Arthur taught Georgiana the finer rules of backgammon and under his tutelage she played very well and started to beat him. On the calmest days they looked for dolphins from the poop deck, endlessly played quoits and watched the sun set over the waves. Sidney observed his ward and his brother absorbed in each other’s company, with composure. They laughed together easily. He’d rarely seen Georgiana smile so much, and that brought him joy.   
Diana had been furnished with some large medical tomes by Dr Fuchs, which she poured over hour after hour completely enthralled by them.  
Sidney spent time on the bridge, enjoying the technicalities of map reading and star gazing for navigation. With this distraction he felt more at ease. Time spent considering his lot, Eliza and Charlotte took on a sense of the intangible. He still missed Charlotte. She had done him a great service by avoiding him. Her scant curtsy and quick evasion had hurt, but had she greeted him, in front of Mary and Tom, it would have been far harder to hide his feelings and remain composed. Avoidance was best. He wished he could also avoid Eliza but that could not be. Work would be his saviour. The additional responsibilities given by Lady Denham, the refurbishment of Denham Place, saving Sanditon, the distillery expansion and the new planned coffee plantation would give him plenty to keep him occupied.   
The days flew quickly with a fair wind on the beam, the weather grew warmer, and they made good progress. After twenty one days at sea the cry of Land Ahoy was heard, much to everyone’s great excitement.


	57. Georgiana’s Plantation Estate

Georgiana couldn’t wait to show Arthur her home. They were greeted by the servants, and shown to their rooms.   
Georgiana walked around, revelling in the sights, sounds and smells she had missed. The colour of the light playing on the wooden floors, the warm breeze through the windows, the noise of the trees. She was home.   
They settled in for the day, deciding that tomorrow a full tour of the estate was in order. For now, being on dry land that did not pitch or roll was all that was required.   
Sidney was up with the sun the next morning and walked to greet his workers and check on the distillery. He had forwarded plans for additional machinery and a larger building to house it all. He found work underway but very few workers. The local people talked of Typhoid fever which had gripped them, with many bedridden and unable to work. Sidney had experienced Typhoid as a young man and knew how dangerous and debilitating it could be. He spoke to his Foreman who confirmed work was difficult with so many workers sick across the whole island.   
Sidney walked on to where the sugar and molasses production warehouses were. Again he found few workers and tales of sickness. Very concerned, Sidney returned to the house in time for breakfast. He wanted some time to speak to the staff and made his way to the kitchens.   
Georgiana was full of life, insisting Diana and Arthur join her to look over the estate.  
The estate manager took Sidney aside to explain the sickness that had invaded their community and claimed many lives. Many workers were sick and unable to feed themselves or their families.  
Georgiana showed Diana and Arthur her grounds, the vast areas of fruit production, her estate produced papaya, mangoes, soursop, bananas and coconuts. She especially wanted to show Arthur the pineapple garden. They giggled together remembering Lady Denham’s outrage at Arthur for manhandling her pineapple. Arthur cut a ripe pineapple from the garden and they sat on the grass, eating it together in the sunshine. Diana had returned indoors finding the sun a little too hot. The estate workers greeted Georgiana, glad to see their mistress home once more. She spoke with them all in depth and was anguished to learn of their troubles with sickness. Georgiana needed to speak to Sidney.   
The staff were gathered on the veranda with Sidney, as Georgiana and Arthur returned. Diana was passing around cooled peppermint tea. The stories of weakness and fever came from every worker.   
Diana spoke up. “This is a setback, but we will not be defeated by it. We are Parkers and we will stand together and we will find a way.” Sidney looked at his determined sister with great admiration. He did not always give her credit for her strength and fortitude. But she had shown her mettle before, recently after the fire and when their mother had died and she’d taken on the household.  
Diana called the staff to the kitchens, and explained what would be expected of them. All workers homes would be scrubbed clean with boiling water and carbolic soap. The kitchen maids were tasked with preparing a drink of coconut water and soursop, sweetened with honey. This would be administered to everyone, not just those suffering fever, three times a day.  
Everyone worked the whole day and those following. Water jugs were scrubbed and refilled with cooled boiled water. The staff moved from one worker’s home to the next, daily. They worked late into the evening, until each family had been visited, and the fruit drink of Diana’s invention had been administered.   
While visiting the homes Diana became aware of a small pair of eyes with long eyelashes, following her every move. Whenever Diana turned, the eyes would disappear into the undergrowth just to emerge a little later, watching her patiently. Diane enquired with the workers whose child it may be. They explained she was an orphan left motherless at birth, aged approximately three, and had recently lost her father in a fishing accident. She was fed by the workers but no one family took responsibility for her. Her name was Rosy.  
One afternoon Diana brought out a picnic to enjoy by herself. She spread out some cake and sandwiches on the grass close to the lush planted borders of bougainvillea. Diana spoke to herself loudly.  
“Well this cake is very nice. I wonder if anyone else would like some? It is very good.” Gradually the small child emerged from the bushes unable to resist the smell of freshly baked cake and bread. Diane sat very still, smiled and nodded to the child to help herself. A beautiful tiny child with enormous brown eyes. Diana was quite captivated. Rosy followed her everywhere from that moment on.   
Life settled into a pattern of early rising, Sidney working in the distillery, Arthur collecting fruit for Diana to produce her concoction, and Georgiana making sure clean water was available for her workers. Diana diligently visited the sick. Towards the end of an arduous week, the estate workers were beginning to return to work, recovering well from the fever that had ailed them.   
Sidney enjoyed the evening’s alone on the veranda, smoking, while considering how far away his real life felt. Arthur and Georgiana would walk across the sands as the sun set, watching the fishermen bring their boats into shore. Diana spent time reading to Rosy, or watching her as she slept.


	58. Winter in Willingden and London

The days grew shorter and the weather miserable. Charlotte tried not to ponder on the conundrum that was Sidney. Engaged to his first love, but travelling abroad, for several months. When would he return? When would the wedding be? Charlotte would have liked to know the date. The known was easier to live with than the unknown. Once more Lady Susan was able to intervene. Her letter requested that Charlotte visit for the Michaelmas season. There were parties in London she must attend, and Charlotte’s companionship made it all so much more satisfactory.  
As there was less work to do on the farm, the weather trapping them all inside, Papa was pleased to allow Charlotte sometime in good company in London. She had grown far too serious with her responsibilities to the family, and now Lady Denham and Sanditon. Mr Heywood was somewhat perturbed. A young girl should be more frivolous. Seriousness comes to everyone with age, and Charlotte was too young to be burdened with it. Charlotte was excited at the thought of London again. It had not been to her taste the first time, but with no possible chance encounters with Sidney, the prospect was more appealing.  
Lady Susan’s liveried carriage collected Charlotte and the journey was quick and certainly a great deal more comfortable than Charlotte’s first venture to London. Charlotte arrived at Lady Susan’s quite magnificent Kensington Gardens home, and felt a little intimidated by its grandeur. She needn’t have been concerned as her welcome was warm. Susan was utterly delighted to see her. She had an enjoyable round of socialising planned, starting with a carriage ride in Kensington Park. Charlotte revelled at the carriages, filled with ladies in the latest haute mode. She wondered out loud if a carriage procession would be something Sanditon could enjoy, perhaps when a London crowd was visiting. Susan was very impressed with Charlotte’s thinking.   
As they continued their ride, Susan asked Charlotte what she knew of Eliza and Sidney’s wedding. When Charlotte professed to know nothing at all, Susan felt she ought to explain.   
“Now my dear, I have had a hand in the planning of the wedding, and I do not wish you to misunderstand me. There is reason for my madness. The date has been set for 22nd September.”  
Charlotte gasped, what an extraordinarily long engagement.   
“The wedding will be in Sanditon. I have offered my Villa.” Charlotte tried not to feel let down by her friend, but it did seem she was rather siding with the opposition. She wanted to ask why, but that would appear rude. Susan continued.  
“Offering the Villa ensured control over the date, you see? It won’t be ready before the end of the summer.” Charlotte was baffled. What did it matter when the wedding was, it was still going to happen.   
“I can see you are confused. A longer race has more fences.” Charlotte was none the wiser.

It is said that if one socialises in London long enough, one will meet everyone, one knows. And such an evening came, when Charlotte was at the Fortesques’ Musical Drum and she spotted Sir Edward Denham. He looked very elegant, refined and spirited. He spoke to many young ladies and seemed to know almost everyone there. He made a bee line for Charlotte.  
“My dear Miss Heywood, how marvellous to meet you. What is it you are doing in London?”  
Since leaving Sanditon under a cloud, and with the misfortune of being disinherited by his aunt, Lady Denham, Edward had fallen on his feet, as a well to look at, dandy gentleman, with a title, is want to do. And Edward had a fortune. A small but growing fortune, made by toiling in gambling houses on the card tables. Edward was a shrewd judge of character and had the remarkable gift of counting cards. He chose his quarry carefully, played astutely and did not return to the same gambling house too frequently, not wishing to be remembered. He was now taking his game playing out of gambling dens and into the homes of the wealthy, where his sharp practices would be less expected.   
Charlotte was getting very practised at meeting ennobled and leading people, making small talk and moving about a room effortlessly, avoiding the over ardent attentions of young gentlemen. Indeed Susan enjoyed watching as young noblemen fawned and dallied with her. Each one trying to out do the next with more gracious and polite flirtations.  
Charlotte was not yet ready to release her heart. No one captivated her as Sidney had. She felt much more at ease with Sir Edward now, than during their first conversation on the cliffs. Edward had spoken of his enjoyment of the sea. Charlotte had blushed when he’d described the gentle play of the currents over his naked limbs. He was equally as exuberant now, but he no longer troubled Charlotte.  
The evening entertainments continued and culminated in a piano recital. It was quite a surprising revelation when they discovered the piano recital was by none other than Clara Brereton.  
Since leaving Sanditon, Clara decided a life of comfort and security was of uppermost importance. She was extremely grateful to Lady Denham for a small allowance which kept her in reasonable lodgings. Her high fashion dresses afforded her acceptability into polite society. Her superior education, manners and charm meant she was welcomed into the most gracious homes. She had found her place playing the piano and singing at musical evenings held by the very best of society. Tonight was one such affair. Clara was guest of honour, her piano recital was an auspicious event. She was becoming rather well known. Clara played and sang beautifully and received many new offers to play, in London and at the country estates of the landed gentry.   
Charlotte was very pleased to see her again. She had missed her when she’d abruptly left Sanditon without saying goodbye. Charlotte had always felt a sneaking admiration for Clara. She was worldly and understood things that Charlotte knew nothing of. Clara quite possibly understood how men’s minds worked, which Charlotte clearly did not. They spent a pleasant time together reminiscing about Sanditon and discussing Sir Edward.   
Edward was aware his character would soon come under scrutiny. He needed to access more country parties, where card games for money would provide his income. In order to do so it would be beneficial for him to be married. He’d always found Clara stimulating. She was a beautiful woman, and she raised his passion. Certain she felt similarly disposed towards him, he decided he would hunt her down. They would make a very attractive pairing. For herself, Clara had missed the attentiveness of Edward. She knew he thought of her often. She decided he would be her quarry.


	59. Ascot

Charlotte was woken early by the maid and breakfast was provided in her chambers. Charlotte had never had her own personal maid before, and was quite enjoying it. While at Trafalgar House, she had shared Mary’s maid with her on special occasions.  
The most exciting day had been long in the planning. Lady Susan had her carriage fully cleaned and polished to gleaming. Even the horses seemed to shine brilliantly in the winter sunshine. They were off to Ascot for the races, and Lady Susan loved horse racing.  
“We are extremely fortunate to be granted a box by a very special friend of mine. We will have the best view of the course. It will be most comfortable.” The usually serene Lady Susan was showing signs of great excitement.  
They were shown into the Royal Box, so sumptuous and comfortable Charlotte was quite overcome. There were even foot stoves to warm them. The seats were so soft, covered in the finest velvet. The ladies were given blankets to cover their knees, of such lightly spun, soft wool. Charlotte held her blanket closely to her. If only she could show Alison. If she could spin wool like this, Mama would never again complain of a chill on her shoulders.  
The Royal Box did indeed afford them the best view of the course. The horses were the most beautiful Charlotte had ever seen. Nothing like the working horses she rode on the farm. Susan was very animated.  
Charlotte found the whole spectacle captivating. She looked across at the seated noblemen and women, in the smaller boxes that adjoined theirs, and there, several boxes along, she spotted Eliza. She was seated next to a striking blonde gentleman. They seemed quite familiar with one another, their heads slightly bowed, speaking quietly. Eliza looked as if she was hanging on the gentleman’s every word.  
Charlotte quickly looked away, not wishing to draw Eliza’s eye . She had no wish to greet her.  
“Now Charlotte, we will go to the Paddock to view the horses more closely. I have a special interest in the next race. I have a horse entered.” Susan was too excited to keep still.  
Down at the Paddock, Charlotte watched the beautiful horses being walked around by their stable hands, the jockeys in their silks, bowing to Lady Susan as they rode past. Susan spoke to many of those gathered, all owners of the different horses. Briefly Charlotte stood alone, until Eliza joined her.  
“Miss Heywood, how surprising to see you here.”  
“Mrs Campion.” Charlotte was trapped.  
“I see you are in the Prince Regents Royal Box. How interesting. It wouldn’t seem to be your natural milleu.”  
“Indeed.” Charlotte had no wish to partake in conversation with Eliza.  
“I assume you know my dearest Sidney is travelling? It’s been a month since I saw him last. The time drags so when he is not by my side. He is always so attentive.”  
“Quite.” Charlotte looked around for Susan.  
“The wedding in planned. Lady Susan is doing me the great honour of hosting for me.” Eliza scrutinised Charlotte’s face, hoping for a look of pain or surprise. Not a flicker.  
“Mrs Campion, we are returning to our seats, shall I accompany you?” The tall blonde gentleman offered his arm. “Oh do excuse me.” He bowed very regally to Charlotte.  
“My Lord, this is Miss Heywood. Miss Heywood, this is the Earl of Chichester.”  
“My Lord.” Charlotte curtsied.  
“Miss Heywood and I are just discussing our race favourites, my Lord. I shall return in due course.” Eliza seemed to rather wave the Earl away. Another one under her enchantment thought Charlotte.  
“Sidney was heartbroken to have to leave me, as you can imagine. I count the days until he returns.” She continued quite unaware.  
“And yet you are attending the races with Lord Chichester?” Charlotte could not help herself. How dare she talk of Sidney while being accompanied by another.  
“Well, err, yes. We are, um, kindred spirits.” Eliza momentarily looked embarrassed. “I’m sure I can rely upon your discretion Miss Heywood, not to discuss what you have seen here today?”  
“It’s none of my business. You’ve no need to explain yourself to me.” Charlotte was put out that this dreadful woman thought she might be a gossip. Eliza looked rather smug.  
“But of course you must know. Marriage is nothing other than a business arrangement. I no more love Sidney, than he does me.” Eliza looked extremely pleased with herself.  
“Why would you wish to marry someone who does not wish to marry you?” Charlotte completely forgot her manners, the woman riled her so.  
Eliza took a moment to steady herself. She fixed Charlotte with an icy stare.  
“So that he cannot marry you, Miss Heywood. No doubt he will find his way to your bed. Good day.”  
Astounded, furious and embarrassed, Charlotte would very much have liked to slap Mrs Campion. She stood with her fists balled, glowering after her.  
Susan came to her rescue. “My dear, time to take our seats, the race is about to be run.”  
Back in the sanctuary of the Royal Box, Charlotte, unable to concentrate on the race, considered Eliza’s words. She didn’t love him. It hurt Charlotte to think of Sidney unloved in a marriage of convenience. Charlotte would rather remain unmarried than ever face the slavery of such a match. And her words had angered Charlotte. Was Eliza really marrying him to stop him from marrying her? What form of cruelty was this? How dare she! And insinuating there had been improper conduct between them. Oh goodness? Did she know about the kiss? Had Sidney confessed all to her? Charlotte truly hoped not. Her embarrassment would be complete. She needed to confide in Susan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The asterisks are my thoughts. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
> 
> Eliza makes a prediction here. It wasn’t something I had plotted and took me totally by surprise. 
> 
> Eliza deliberately introduces Charlotte incorrectly. (In the wrong order) It’s not my error.


	60. Arthur, Georgiana and Diana

With but two weeks of their time in Antigua left Arthur came to Sidney one evening on the veranda. He sat beside him on the woven rocking chairs. Sidney noticed he had tears in his eyes. They said nothing for a while until Arthur spoke.   
“I have been spending a great deal of my time with Georgiana, Sidney.”  
Sidney had a strong feeling he knew what was being asked of him.   
“She is enchanting. We have spoken and we would like your permission to marry. Georgiana feels as I do. I have one reservation and that is of course my duty to Diana. I had promised I will always be at her side, but I cannot promise this any longer.”  
Sidney looked at his brother, full of hope and expectation of happiness, but clouded by the knowledge the news would be very hard for Diana.  
“Damn your duty Arthur. Tell her the truth. Georgiana has captured your heart and makes you happy. Diana knows it would happen some day.”  
“Does that mean we have your blessing?”  
“Far be it from me to stand in the way of your happiness, Arthur. Someone in this family should be.” Sidney didn’t mean it to sound bitter, but to his own ears it certainly did. Arthur’s face was a picture of beaming joy, but with concern in his eyes.  
“Let’s speak no more of it until you have spoken to Diana. Do it soon.” He slapped Arthur on the back and gave him a congratulatory hug.  
Leaving the veranda, Sidney called into Georgiana’s chambers.  
“I understand you wish to marry my brother?” Sidney stood in her doorway, looking serious and a little severe.  
“Oh Sidney, please say you’ll allow it. I love him. He makes me laugh. I’d forgotten what that felt like.” Georgiana looked pleadingly at him. Sidney smiled his biggest smile and Georgiana jumped into his arms, thanking him.   
“I ask only that you don’t mention it to Diana, just yet.”  
Next morning Diana rose early. She had made up her mind and felt quite determined. She went to breakfast early. She hoped to catch Sidney before Arthur rose. She looked pensive but resolute.   
She looked at him earnestly “Sidney, we have just a week left before our departure. I cannot. I cannot leave Antigua, I cannot leave Rosy. There is too much to do here. I have found my place.” She drew in a deep breath.   
“I wish to stay. But what of dear Arthur. What will become of him. I promised Mama I would always look after him.”  
“And you’ve done a fine job of it. You’ve raised an extraordinary man, ready to take his place in the world. He is not a life long bachelor. It is time to let him go, Diana.” Sidney spoke gently to her.  
She knew he was right. She’d seen his growing admiration for Georgiana. They sat close, whispered and giggled, took long walks together, seeming very contented in each other’s presence. Diana realised the time had come to release him.   
Arthur entered the dining room, a palpable tension in the air.  
“Diana I.”  
“Arthur, let me.” Diana gulped. “I need to stay here, I want to remain when you leave for home. I have a life here, workers and a child to look after. Arthur, I’ve never been so happy and so wanted and needed. Can I have your approval brother dear.” Tears ran down Diana’s cheeks.   
Arthur gathered her up, lifting her off her feet.  
“My dear sister! That makes me so happy. I’m in love with Georgiana, and we wish to marry. I was fearful you would not understand.”  
Diana was so relieved and very happy for them both.  
Georgiana walked into the dining room, seeing tears and exuberance.  
“And what have I missed? Some levity obviously.” Georgiana tried to remain stoic.   
Diana was the first to speak. “Georgiana, I knew as soon as I saw you together. You and Arthur must marry. I will not be on my own. I should very much like to stay here, forever. Look after the estate workers, manage the household, take care of Rosy. Would you mind?”  
Georgiana beamed. “It would give me the greatest pleasure to know you are here, and the estate is in your care. Please stay as long as you wish. It is your home.”


	61. Georgiana Goes Home

Georgiana was very excited to be visiting her Antiguan home. She missed the heat. England was dreary and so chilly compared. She looked forward to travelling with Sidney. He’d been so distant recently and more ill tempered than normal. She wanted the old Sidney back. The one that played cricket with her on the beach, took her rowing and sang her to sleep when her father had died. He’d been the elder brother any girl would wish for. After the Will was read, Sidney had changed. Overnight he became authoritarian and serious. His guardianship weighed heavy, she decided. He’d brought her to England to finish her education. She enjoyed her time at Bedford Place. Her governess was flighty and easily distracted. They walked in the parks, picking flowers and talked about men and love.   
Sidney was consumed with his business and Sanditon. He took little notice of Georgiana. She fell in with a crowd of the young and wealthy who met at balls and routs too regularly. She enjoyed dancing and developed a taste for drinking. Then she met Otis, and believed she’d fallen in love. He was handsome, tall and appeared to be wealthy. He was attentive and kind. She missed her father so, and Sidney had taken to ignoring her. Her life was empty and Otis filled her need to feel cared for. Georgiana’s evenings were taken with parties and revelry. She spent her days reading in the library, and found an interesting cache of books on Greek exotic poetry and the Medici’s. She devoured them. Georgiana sought love, in all its forms. Written, in the art galleries she visited with her governess and at the balls she frequented.   
Finding Otis visiting her one afternoon, Sidney had completely lost his temper. The governess was dismissed and Georgiana was forced to move to Sanditon. Further away from Sidney. He didn’t even visit her often. He almost seemed to forget about her. She was forbidden from seeing Otis ever again.   
By lucky chance she met Charlotte. And in her, she had a friend and confidant once more. She shared her secret knowledge of the ways of love, enjoying Charlotte’s wide eyed incredulity. For a country girl she seemed a little naive. Georgiana would change all that. The season in Sanditon had cheered her a little but it was as nothing compared to London.  
But now at the start of her long wished for journey back home, Georgiana could not help but be very excited indeed. Sidney seemed quite cheered too. Diana fretted about everything and Georgiana enjoyed telling her tales of rats the size of badgers on the ship that would nibble toes in the night. Sidney requested that she be less cruel to poor Diana whose nerves could not stand teasing. Arthur was the most fun of all. He would bring her hot buttered toast in the mornings, and last thing at night. He would collect her crusts to feed to the sea gulls, a spectacle she enjoyed every morning. The gulls would swoop around Arthur’s head, as he threw bread to them, unconcerned that they were quite large and somewhat fearsome. When the weather was calm, they played quoits on the poop deck and she always won. It appeared Arthur was not terribly good at throwing, or preferred to let her win. She wasn’t certain. On the few days of rough seas they endured she stood at the stern of the boat and Arthur steadied her. He told her to look to the horizon to still her churning innards and it seemed to work. As did the hot toast, without butter. The evenings were taken with chess, a game she played with her father. She knew she played well, but Arthur played better. Beating him was quite satisfying. Arthur taught her card games, draughts and backgammon. He explained the rules patiently and she quickly mastered them. He told stories of growing up with Sidney. He’d played tricks on the governesses, until unable to stand it, they would leave and be replaced by yet another, until Sidney was despatched to school. How he’d be sent home for absconding, then run away from home, to turn up worst for wear and smelling of drink. Georgiana was flabbergasted. Sidney’s behaviour had be far worse than her own. Perhaps another reason he was so strict with her. Arthur always made her laugh. She found the thought of not being with him disconcerting. She decided to broach the subject with him.  
“Arthur when we return to England you will live in Bedford Place and I shall be in Sanditon. I will miss our games of chess.” Arthur looked pained. He too could not consider his life without Georgiana in it. Her wit and energy stimulated him. He felt wanted. Wanted as a man. Diana had always been his rock. She needed him. She kept him as her little brother, unable to grow into the man he wanted to be. With Diana, he was a child. He had no wish to be a child any longer.   
Arthur chose his words carefully. “Perhaps we could both reside at Bedford Place when we return? Together.” He really wasn’t sure how ladies worked but knew he wanted to find out.  
“Sidney would never allow it. You know how he is. Conduct, propriety and all that. He’d consider it unconscionable.” Georgiana looked sad. Life in Sanditon without Arthur would be dull in the extreme. Arthur decided to take courage, and make a light hearted remark, that if he had understood the situation incorrectly could be flippantly discarded.  
“He couldn’t stop us if we were married.” Arthur blushed, but the huge grin on his face could not be hidden. He’d said it. Spoken the words in his heart. He wanted to be married and married to Georgiana.   
Georgiana had not been expecting those words. She looked into his laughing eyes and his huge smile as he looked down at her. She couldn’t resist him.   
Sidney came to speak to her. He lent on the doorway into her chambers, his legs casually crossed.  
“What’s this about marrying Arthur?” He was smiling, unusually for him. Georgiana thanked him for his permission. Sidney grew serious.  
“Georgiana, what you know, what you think you know, about love, that you have read. Consider Arthur. He’s err, easily embarrassed.”  
“Why should he be embarrassed. He’s a man.”  
“Ah, yes, fair point. Well I hope you have not ambushed his heart.”  
“I can assure you it was not deliberate on my part. And he has certainly ambushed mine.” Georgiana could not help smiling.   
“Well then.” Sidney left in a hurry somewhat embarrassed.


	62. A wedding and the journey Home

Georgiana could not wait to be wed. Neither could Arthur. They saw no reason why it should not be in the glorious grounds of the estate, before leaving for England. Sidney made a half hearted attempt to ask them to wait, but he could see no real reason to stop them. This was Georgiana’s home after all.  
Arrangements were quick. Georgiana it seemed could summon up a storm when required. The pastor was invited to tea, the estate workers were invited, flowers were cut and adorned the chapel. The date was set for the day before departure.  
Almost the whole island seemed to be attending the wedding of Miss Georgiana Lambe and Mr Arthur Parker.   
Her father Colonel Lambe had been held in very high esteem for all that he had achieved for the islanders, granting his slaves their freedom, most had stayed in his employment and still worked for the estate. Now his daughter had returned, and helped cure the pestilence that had plagued them. To see Georgiana married was a great thrill and honour for them all.   
The wedding itself was a simple but joyous affair in the chapel in the estate grounds. Georgiana wore an elegant white dress. The couple repeated their vows before the congregation, feeling the happiest they could ever remember. Diana was immensely proud. Arthur could scarce believe his good fortune, he’d always considered love and marriage not his style of things at all. Having found a woman who shared his sense of fun for life, Arthur knew he no longer had any worries on that score.   
Sidney could not help but reflect. His wedding would be next. He could not muster the same joy or enthusiasm he’d seen in Arthur. He felt quite jealous of Arthur’s happiness and ability to choose a woman he loved. To marry for no other reason but true love. The burden of the family responsibilities came crashing down on Sidney and he quite suddenly felt the misery that had evaded him in the last weeks.   
The ceremony was followed by a party on the lawn and music that went on long into the night. Sidney drank to forget once more. 

The following day, tired, emotional, happy and sad, the party made their way to their ship.   
Diana could not contain herself, in floods of tears at the loss of her baby brothers. She hugged them tightly and wished them a safe journey. Sidney, Georgiana and Arthur boarded. Arthur and Georgiana with hope and excitement for their new life together. Sidney with resignation and sadness leaving the beautiful island that had offered him sanctuary more than once.   
The passage was speedy and without incident, until Georgiana began to sense her power. Sidney was no longer her guardian, now she had only to defer to her husband, and he acquiesced to her every whim. She was Georgiana Parker and Sidney was her brother. It was time to speak to him.   
“Sidney I wish to speak with you on important matters.” Her new seriousness amused Sidney.  
“Arthur has explained some things to me and I should like to know the truth from you. Do you love Eliza?” Sidney sighed, she would not be fobbed off easily. He knew Georgiana could be irritably persistent and he would prefer this conversation over with quickly.   
I don’t see this is your business, Georgiana.” He kept his tone flat.  
“I am afraid dear brother, it is my business. It involves two of the most important people in my life and their happiness is paramount. Do you love her?” Georgiana was determined.  
“I cannot say I do and I cannot say I do not.” This was the truth, for Sidney was indeed unsure. He had felt love for her once, he hoped he would again.   
“And what of Charlotte? She loves you.” Sidney quickly turned away, unable to control his expression, knowing tears would spring to his eyes. Georgiana continued “I know you love her. I have seen it with my own eyes. Please do not cauterise your heart again.” Sidney knew only the truth would satisfy Georgiana, as she knew him well and he could not lie to her. He drew breath to steady himself.  
“I am engaged, Georgiana. I loved Eliza once. She is dear to me. The fire has left Tom at the mercy of the bank. Without my wedding to Eliza, he will loose everything. Mary and the children will be in the poorhouse, Tom and I will be in prison. Bedford Place and Trafalgar House will be sold. Eliza’s fortune will save the family.” Sidney spoke matter of factly, but could not hide the sadness in his voice.   
“This is outrageous!” Georgiana stormed. “I have money, more sovereigns than you can shake. My money is yours. Do not make this mistake with your heart.” Tears were springing to her eyes, she could not stand the thought of Charlotte’s unhappiness compounded by the hurt and sadness she saw in Sidney.  
“No Georgiana. I will never take your money, your father’s money, from you, to remedy my mistakes. We will not discuss this again.” Sidney turned from her and walked to his quarters fearing he would soon loose control of his emotions.


	63. Stringer’s New Office and a Wedding

James arrived at Trafalgar House. He was feeling nervous. How many times had he been let down by Tom Parker? He didn’t want to count the broken promises. Could this be another? An off the cuff remark, with no sense or meaning.  
He needn’t have worried. Tom opened the front door himself, and showed James into the study. The room had been transformed. The model of Sanditon was still placed in the middle, but the rest of the room was quite breathtaking. The pictures and family portraits that had adorned the walls had all been replaced by beautifully framed plans that James had drawn. There were sumptuous chairs for his customers to relax in, and pride of place by the window was a magnificent easel for James to work at. No more struggling with one candle through the night. James was quite euphoric.   
“I have one more surprise Mr Stringer” Tom was feeling very pleased to see the excitement in James. On a smaller easel was a placard, covered in a red cloth. With a flourish Tom unveiled the placard. In deep gold lettering it proclaimed:   
Mr James Stringer  
Esteemed Sanditon Architect  
Commissions, Plans, Building Works  
Satisfaction Guaranteed 

James was utterly speechless. He could do nothing more than grin. Tom positioned the placard outside, next to the front door.   
“I hope we will welcome your patrons very soon, Mr Stringer.”   
It had given Tom great pride to prepare the study for Mr Stringer. He knew he owed him a huge debt. His actions had contributed to Old Mr Stringer’s death and nothing could ever salve his conscious of that.  
Tom had requested funding for the office from the Trustees, writing to each one (even Mary) to secure the funds he needed. He had waited nervously knowing that he had requested the largest most expensive drawing easel. Fortunately he got the unanimous decision to afford him the funds. Tom’s pride had suffered badly when it became apparent he was not trusted. The banks, Lady D, his own wife and brother had lost faith in him. He set his mind to work to regain their trust. The first step in his new role for Sanditon was Mr Stringer’s office. Tom allowed himself a feeling of pride in this small achievement.  
It was not very long until James welcomed his first paying customer. He was visited by the enigmatic Dr Fuchs. They had met previously when Dr Fuchs had set his father’s broken leg. Dr Fuchs had a popular and growing doctor’s practice, with many of his patients following him from his last practice along the coast. Dr Fuchs loved Sanditon and was certain it would be his home for a long time to come. He came to see Mr Stringer with his idea. He wanted a home for himself, with an additional surgery wing with a room to welcome patients, a spa room for his shower bath, operating theatre, and rooms for recuperation. The summer had been very profitable for Dr Fuchs. Sanditon seemed to draw a plague of hypochondriacs.   
Over the following weeks, Lord Babbington visited James with a request for an imposing summer residence. They walked the cliffs to choose the best prospect for the house.   
Mr Crowe had very different requirements. A centrally place house for his Gentleman’s Club, with rooms to let and a top floor apartment for him. His was the first of the burned terrace that would be rebuilt. Crowe quite liked the idea, and decided to call it The Phoenix Gentleman’s Club.  
James was receiving so many commissions, he considered taking on an apprentice. Along with the new works, he had Lady Susan’s Villa, and Sidney’s Pagoda to work on. He’d also received a letter from Sidney before he left for Antigua, asking for the refurbishment of Denham Place, with some early indications of what Sidney wanted. A light filled, modern scheme, the dark painted murals of nudes were to be removed.   
While Mr Sidney Parker was away, James was in charge of Parker Developments. Commissions were coming in so quickly, James was able to reemploy some of the workers that had been let go. Pretty soon Sanditon had the feel of a vibrant successful town again. James was able to start work on the plan for his very own house, the one he hoped to build for himself and Alison. 

It had not taken Edward and Clara very long to become reacquainted. Clara had invited Edward to see her play several times and Edward had taken the opportunity to increase his fortune at the card tables. Clara enjoyed fanning the flames of Edward’s ardour. Both understood life together was very much more preferable than apart. Their decision to wed was a joint one, but some family matters needed attending to. Edward wrote to Lady Denham asking to see her. It came as a mild surprise to Lady Denham when Clara as well as Edward alighted from a very smart carriage. She welcomed them warmly and was quite delighted when Edward asked for her approval of their marriage. She was very happy to give it. The dining room floor incident was glossed over.   
They were married in Sanditon by Reverend Hankins and started their lives together as Lady Denham’s guests. It did not take long for Edward to purchase one of the new terrace homes, and commission a Music Hall to be built in Sanditon. With the additional benefit of housing some card tables, for Edward to enjoy his card sharp skills. Mr Stringer had yet another commission.


	64. Back in London

It had been a few days since their arrival back from Antigua. Georgiana and Arthur settled into married life in Bedford Place. Arthur enjoyed preparing hot buttered toast and serving it to Georgiana in bed before she rose for the day. Sidney caught up on work he had missed. He felt enormous relief to find many deposits paid into the bank, with far fewer withdrawals. There were new contracts to sign and new plans to approve. Mr Stringer had been very busy. Sidney thought to let Eliza know he had returned, but it kept slipping his mind.   
Georgiana wrote to Mrs Griffiths to inform her of her wonderful news. She also wrote to Charlotte at Lady Susan’s home. She desperately wanted to see Charlotte to tell her the good news to her face. She knew Charlotte would prefer not to visit Bedford Place. They agreed to meet in Hyde Park for a carriage ride.   
Charlotte was surprised to see Georgiana appear with Arthur at her side. They were both beaming and unable to suppress giggles.   
“What is it? What’s happened.” Charlotte’s inquisitiveness was piqued.   
“We are married!” Georgiana could not contain herself any longer and skipped around Charlotte with joy. Arthur laughed as he watched her with pride in his eyes. Charlotte was delighted for them both. She needed all the details of how it had all unfolded. Georgiana described the whole trip in glorious detail, Charlotte felt like she had actually travelled to Antigua with them. But Georgiana grew serious and explained she knew why Sidney was marrying the Hydra.   
“He won’t take my money to pay off the debt. I told him he must, so he can be released from this ridiculous engagement. But he refused. We need another plan.”  
“Could it be he wants to marry her?” The words stung Charlotte. There was plenty of evidence that pointed to him being happy with her, despite Eliza saying they were not in love. Not everyone needed to be in love to marry. Speaking of him, Charlotte felt the pain in her heart clutch at her breath. The daily grinding pain of missing him was tolerable now, but speaking of him brought fresh agony. Susan had managed to keep Charlotte so busy with her social whirl there had been little time to dwell on Sidney. She was always reminded of him when asked to dance by eager young men. Their attentions just made her miss him more. Now listening to Georgiana speak of him, Charlotte had to hold her emotions in check.   
“Impossible. She is intolerable. Arthur and I wish to live in Sanditon. We will travel there soon to commission a home. I have drawings of my plantation house. I would like something similar built on a hill overlooking the town.” Georgiana giggled conspiratorially. Charlotte tried to share her enthusiasm, but from what she knew of the finances, it would not be enough to release Sidney from the debt.   
It was also on this day that Otis Molyneux called on Sidney unexpectedly. The work he had undertaken with the Sons of Africa, had stood him well. He had run for election and was now a Member of Parliament with a generous income. For his reputation and his own honour he felt duty bound to pay back his debt to Sidney for his gambling debts. He arrived at Bedford Place with the bankers draft.   
Sidney was pleased to see him. He looked prosperous and reputable. Otis explained why he was calling. His conscience no longer allowed him to be beholden to Sidney. He had to repay the great kindness that had saved him.   
“You don’t have to repay me, you know.” But Sidney understood he must accept the repayment or do Otis a great disservice. He was greatly moved by the offer.   
As they stood in the hall, Sidney wishing Otis luck with his career, Georgiana arrived. They stood in silence for a moment, until Georgiana warmly greeted Otis, and proudly introduced him to her husband Arthur. Otis was momentarily shocked but recovered himself well and wished them both every happiness. Georgiana was pleased to see him. He was successful and well. It was their final proper parting.


	65. Lord Chichester’s Country Estate

Sidney needn’t have concerned himself with informing Eliza he had returned from his travels. She was away in the country enjoying a shooting party at the Earl of Chichester’s vast estate.  
Lord Chichester had invited virtually every nobleman known to him. His party exceeded thirty of the wealthiest and most titled gentry in the land.   
The entertainment of evening music and dance was more spectacular than in the finest music halls in London. The food was on a par with that served to royalty, indeed Lord Chichester had secured the services of several chefs from the French court. Shooting and riding ensured great merriment amongst the renowned guests. Eliza was in heaven.  
The estate was one of the most beautiful in the land. There was a large and beautiful Paxton greenhouse where the most exotic fruits were grown, including grapes and or course, pineapples. The formal grounds, designed by Sir Charles Barry after the Italian style of geometric patterns, made for a pleasing afternoon stroll among scented rose beds. The wider grounds had been fashioned by none other than Capability Brown to afford the best views. The house itself had every comfort imaginable. Silk rugs adorned the walls, and large portraits of Chichester’s lineage hung over the imperial staircase, a replica of that of the Palace of Versailles. It even had a turret observatory modelled on the King’s Observatory, a later addition by the Countess of Chichester, Oliver’s mother, after a trip to Richmond, star gazing.   
Eliza had never seen such opulence and grandeur. Berkeley Square despite its stucco design, marble floors and new Orangery, was beginning to feel like a farm cottage.   
Eliza immersed herself in the affluent society around her and was feted by the elderly dowagers all keen for her to meet their young unmarried nephews.   
It was on the night of the Wolf Moon that Oliver invited Eliza to the observatory for an evening’s night sky exploration. The turret was filled with candles, which Oliver slowly started to blow out. The observation required darkness for best sight of the full moon’s charms. When no candles remained, the turret lit only by the silvery glow of the moon, Oliver knelt before Eliza. A hopeful but anguished expression on his face. Eliza gasped and a tremor of excitement ran through her.  
“My darling Eliza, for weeks I have thought of nothing but you. My every breath is made just to serve you. My life is but darkness without you as my Sun. Please say that you will be mine, as without you, I shall die from the wanting.”  
Eliza’s mind spun, thoughts flashing through her. Mistress of this magnificent house. A Countess! The doors this would open for her. Her place in society assured, not just through wealth but far better, by status. And she could not neglect to be gratified by the love and devotion of a man so enthralled by her. How very pleasing.   
“My Lord, I am spoken for.” Eliza, ever the game player, knew not to make things easy for the poor prostrate Oliver.   
“Do you mean to break my heart, my Lady? For I can rip it from my chest and give it to you now. Without you, I have no use for it” Oliver looked pleadingly to her.  
“My Lord, please do not! You ask a great deal. That I should protect your heart. I have much to consider.”  
They descended the turret arm in arm and bade each other goodnight. Oliver with hope, and Eliza with no doubt at all.


	66. Mrs Griffiths

‘You were you, and I was I,  
We were two before our time,  
I was yours before I knew,  
And you have always been mine too.’  
(Byron).

Mrs Griffiths sat in her parlour reading. The Beaufort girls chitter chattered by the fire, intentions set on their embroidery.  
Mrs Griffiths sighed. She would have to appraise poor handiwork and demand feather stitching be unpicked later. For now she read. Poetry soothed her soul. Her hidden soul.   
It had been extremely fortuitous that her last position had come to a natural end when it had. Her two charges married off, undoubtedly because of their impeccable manners and education. She’d not been able to do much about the squint or the lazy eye but both were barely visible from one side. They had charm and grace and that, Mrs Griffiths congratulated herself, was her doing.   
The advertisement had attracted her straight away. A governess for three girls, to reside in an up and coming seaside location. A change of scene, and an opportunity of a new life. Mr Griffiths had been a cruel, charmless man, but the bruises had long faded and she was grateful for his name and respectability. No longer the wife of a drunk she bloomed into a formidable governess of exceptional ability.   
Meeting Mr Sidney Parker had been a pleasure. Never had she seen a man so beautiful but so manly. He enhanced her dreams and her daytime reverie. She pondered his sea salted skin when he wafted into her parlour, the fresh scent of brine on his clothes. He would display himself across her mantle, like an elusive prize to be won. One hand casually resting on his hip, the fall of his trousers leaving little to her imagination. One benefit of having been a married woman. His temperament was changeable, sometimes charming, sometimes not. She had raised his ire on more than one occasion but used to the tempers of men, she remained inscrutable and enjoyed the flection of his jaw.   
Today he had walked into her parlour and startled her. His presence always startled her, this morning she dropped her biscuit into her tea. Standing quickly and brushing away crumbs, she offered him a seat, after he’d sat down, the delicate chaise creaking under his weight.   
Mr Parker informed her, he would be away sometime abroad. His magical adventures triggered her imagination, but it was a pity she would no longer see his frame fill her doorway, the straight line of his wide shoulders dipping as he removed his hat. She took in the strong line of his neck from ear to cravat. A pleasing memory when the weather turned dreary.  
It was almost five, so Mrs Griffiths busied herself with tea. Reverend Hankins would coming knocking soon. A man you could set your clock by. She felt a warmth swell inside her. His eloquent and charming sermons, could be improved by a little poetry. His tender and naive kindness attracted her. A man of fire and brimstone and an understanding of the stories of the bible. She felt he was ready to be plucked. The wife of the town’s Reverend would suit nicely. An elevated station in life, with security and love. Perhaps even the love of which she read, lasting, passionate, and intense.  
The Beaufort girls requested a late stroll. The weather had been unseasonably poor and trapped indoors with the incessant chatter, Mrs Griffiths welcomed some hours of peace. She did not need to hear for the thousandth time, the discussion appraising the charms of Mr Parker versus Mr Stringer. The girls needed fresh air. She told them to be home before dark.  
So a peaceful and companionable tea with Reverend Hankins was enjoyed. He looked somewhat out of sorts and stuttered more than was usual. He complimented her on her cake and tea set. The same as was usual for tea, on every occasion. He spoke of the fine weather, which was odd as it had rained for days. After a time of complete silence he cleared his throat.  
“Mrs Griffiths, I find I have a position in the vicarage, which I would hope that you might fill?”  
His voice shook, he looked pale. Was he ill? Did he require nursing, she truly hoped not.   
“The congregation grows weekly and summer will be upon us shortly. Visitors will swell the church’s numbers. The parish is vibrant with god fearing worship.”   
Mrs Griffiths didn’t really understand. What was required of her?  
“What is this position Reverend? Do you require a governess?”  
“I, I require a wife, Mrs Griffiths. I wonder if you would do me that honour?”  
The request was shockingly out of the blue and Mrs Griffiths blushed deeply, as did Reverend Hankins. Silence enveloped them. Reverend Hankins sipped more tea and avoided her gaze.   
Mrs Griffiths not usually lost for words, her mouth open but unspeaking. After several sips of restorative tea, she eventually whispered “Too kind.” As surprised as she, Reverend Hankins looked up.   
“Do you accept me?” A hopefulness in his trembling voice.  
“I do.” Mrs Griffiths spoke with a conviction and love that astonished even her.   
“Oh Mrs Griffiths, you have made me the happiest of happy men. I cannot ever thank you.”   
“Augusta, if you please Reverend.”  
“Augusta of course. Harold.”


	67. The Last Day of Lady Denham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *****(I add a warning to this, we know what is coming. It is gentle, but it is what it is. Skip to half way down if you don’t want to read it. Paragraph beginning with Eliza x)*****

The winter weather made the walk down to the lower field to feed the Asses, so much more treacherous than in the warmer months. Lady Denham considered moving them closer to the house, but the braying would probably become irritating. The pain in her hip was worse in the damp, but would improve in the spring. It was the heavy weight in her chest that made Lady Denham consider the sands of time were running low. Life had been exceptionally kind and prosperous to Lady Denham. She’d married well, enjoyed travel and wonderful friends. Most recently joy had come from Esther’s marriage to Lord Babbington, and Edward and Clara’s match. Even the development of Sanditon was again in full swing and Lady Denham enjoyed weekly trips around the building sites. It was another of Tom’s new initiatives. He would collect Lady Denham in the curricle and drive her around all the sites so she could see what was happening. She enjoyed these trips very much.  
She fed the Asses their carrots, recalling all their names. She loved their kind features and gentle nature. She patted and spoke to each one before taking the arduous walk back to the house. The pressure in her chest weighed heavy. That evening, after a gourmet meal of her favourite venison pie, washed down with a healthful tumbler of gin, Lady Denham sat down to write two letters. The first was to Esther. Lady Denham described her joy at Esther’s marriage. She thanked her for her words of wisdom. Understanding her money had made her cruel and miserly, Esther had given her the chance to put those things to rights and find happiness before it was too late.   
Lady Denham’s letter to Edward, thanked him for coming to his senses and marrying Clara. She also warned him his card sharp practices could come back to haunt him. The addition to Sanditon of his Music Hall would bring pleasure to many, profit to his family and she was proud of him.   
She removed her Will from the hidden draw in her armoire and placed it on top of the letters. Lady Denham retired to bed that evening, and dreamt of her youth, her coming out, dancing with Sir Harry, her wedding day and their long and loving marriage. In the morning, she did not awake.

Eliza travelled to London with lots on her mind. She should have been planning her Engagement Extravaganza, the day the formal announcement of her wedding day would be made, although Eliza had ensured everyone already knew.  
She should have been rushing back to see Sidney, but he hadn’t crossed her mind in a while. Surely he had returned by now? Eliza sent a messenger to Bedford Place.   
The only man on her mind was Oliver, Earl of Chichester. So rich, so handsome and so in love with her. She could think of nothing better. What would she say to Sidney?  
She walked around Belgrave Square, gilt newly gleaming, chandeliers sparkling like diamonds. It left her feeling cold. Nothing could rival the majesty of Lord Chichester’s estate. Eliza was left wanting.   
Eliza’s messenger called at Bedford Place. Sidney provided a note saying he would visit that afternoon. The Pagoda was finished and he hoped to present it to Eliza. There was no point in putting off their meeting any longer.   
Sidney dressed smartly. Since the trip he’d felt more himself. There had been less drinking and he’d felt better for it. The loss of Charlotte still hurt but he had to move on with his life. Eliza was his future and he was going to make the best of it. Feeling hopeful, he called at Berkeley Square. Eliza greeted him coolly, which Sidney found a little unexpected. Did absence not make the heart grow fonder? He’d been away quite some time. Sidney remembered he had not been in the best of moods with Eliza prior to leaving for Antigua, but he was ready to make things up to her now.   
“I have a surprise for you. A gift.” Eliza glowed. She loved gifts. Sidney lead Eliza down the garden, gently holding her hand to guide her, telling her to keep her eyes closed. They meandered through the Louden Gardenesque, planted with giant ferns and gunnera, until they arrived at the bottom of the garden where the Pagoda stood pride of place beside the pond.   
Eliza opened her eyes and saw the beautiful Pagoda.   
“Oh what a sweet little thing! Is this my gift? How quaint.” Eliza was pleased but a little underwhelmed. She’d rather hoped for an observatory.   
They sat inside the Pagoda to enjoy the view of the house. The smell of new wood was pleasing. There was silence. They had nothing to say to one another.   
Eliza decided it was time to make her feelings clear.   
“Sidney.” This was going to be hard for them both. She took a deep breath and began.  
“It pains me greatly to tell you I no longer love you. And I do not believe you love me.” Sidney looked grave. She was speaking the truth.   
“We cannot marry. We would both be miserable. I thought I just wanted you. But it isn’t enough for me to own you. Without love we have nothing. Just a marriage based on slavery.” Eliza found she was crying real tears. Sidney put a brotherly arm around her shoulders, to comfort her as she continued.  
“We found love together once. I believed it would return. But it did not.”   
Sidney found he was crying as he listened to her.   
“I have found someone who truly loves me, for who I am. Not for a memory of who I used to be. Sidney, I have to release you from our engagement. I’m sorry. I know that will be difficult for your family, but I have faith in you. You don’t need me, or my money. Go to your true love. I know that isn’t me.”  
Sidney had no words. She’d spoken for them both.   
They sat together in silence until the sun set.   
As the evening grew cold, Sidney bade Eliza goodbye and wished her eternal happiness with her chosen beau.   
He dismissed his driver and walked the two short miles back to Bedford Place. The cold air clearing his thoughts. He wondered how long the bank would continue to wait for the repayment of the debt. He’d managed to keep them at bay so far and deposits had been made against the loan. There was no doubt, now the new contract was in place, it would be him and not Tom that could go to jail. That was probably for the best. Tom would certainly not survive debtors prison, but he felt he had a fair chance. He contemplated he would also be the least missed. And Tom’s family would be safe.


	68. The Sad News and the Good News

Sidney awoke early. He had not slept well. He was relieved to have been released by Eliza. But the relief was tinged with sadness. They had been great friends once. Last night he had forced himself not to think of Charlotte. Now he had no choice. It had been six long months since the Ball. He’d seen her more recently at Sanditon House but they had not spoken. She had gone to great pains to avoid him. Sidney had no idea what she could think of him. She could even be engaged or married.  
The post was brought to Sidney and a very official letter was uppermost. Sidney’s stomach did a flip. Was it from the bank? Was his time up?   
The letter contained the sad news Lady Denham has passed and Sidney was required in Sanditon for the reading of the Will. Two thoughts struck him instantly. Charlotte would be called to the reading and the bank might foreclose. Could it be the next time he saw Charlotte he would be dragged off to jail?   
He informed Georgiana of his requirement to travel to Sanditon. Georgiana was more than pleased with a trip to Sanditon. She could implement her plan. Sidney was amused to notice Georgiana place a painting of her plantation home into the carriage. 

Charlotte had only just returned to Willingden when the news arrived. Although Alison felt sorry for Charlotte’s sorrow at the death of Lady Denham, she could not help her excitement at the thought of another trip to Sanditon to see James. The distance between them made Alison restless. Being unable to see James whenever she wished was quite tortuous. With inappropriate joy in her heart, she packed for a visit to Sanditon to see her love.   
Charlotte was more apprehensive. Yet another visit to Sanditon, yet another encounter with Sidney Parker. There were still several months until his wedding. Charlotte almost wished it was over. While he was still unmarried as hard as she tried she could not extinguish the tiny flicker of hope in her heart. She wasn’t sure how she would bear the next meeting with him. She knew she could not continue to just avoid and ignore him. Her behaviour towards him the last time had troubled her. It felt unlike her. She could not care how he felt or what he thought, because he was not hers to care for or think of. So it made no sense to be rude. She would be polite but distant, friendly but removed. She was certain she could manage that. Her emotions would be under lock and key. 

The news of Lady Denham’s sad demise was greeted with great anxiety by Tom and Mary. With the largest investor now departed, this could mean the end of Parker Developments. Mary felt sick at the thought it could mean incarceration for Sidney.   
The mood in Trafalgar House was extremely uneasy as Charlotte and Alison arrived.   
Alison politely greeted her hosts, but escaped as soon as was civil to Mr Stringer’s office. She knocked on the door, now adorned with a beautiful brass placque stating James Stringer, Architect, in an intricate script. Another of Tom’s new initiatives. Alison felt great pride as she saw it.   
James was thrilled to see Alison. Since her letter informing him of her visit, James had been very hard at work. He couldn’t wait to show Alison the fruits of his labours.   
They took a long walk along the sands to the far end of the bay. There rising above the sea was a small headland with magnificent views of the sands, the cliffs, and the town. They took the cliff path up to the headland. In the middle was a substantial building site covered in scaffolding. James helped Alison up the ladders to the top level of scaffolding. From there the view of the town was quite breathtaking.   
James took hold of Alison’s hands. “This, my dearest Alison, is the house I am building. My house. The plans I have sent you are becoming stone and slate. I work here every moment I can. I hope to finish it by summer. I plan to build a whole town one day, on the other side of the cliffs. I hope you approve.”  
Alison looked around her, amazed that one man could achieve so much, full of admiration for his ambition and hard work.  
James lowered himself on to one knee.   
“I should very much love to share this home with you, if you would accept me as your husband. Dear Alison, please say that you will marry me?”  
Alison let out a scream of delight, sank to her knees with James, holding his hands tightly to her. Both laughing with joy. They spent sometime walking around the house, their house. Alison making her suggestions for rooms and decor.


	69. The Reading of the Will

The trustees of Parker Developments, Sir Edward and Lady Clara gathered for the reading of Lady Denham’s Will.   
It was a sombre occasion. Charlotte had lost a great friend, a lady who had shown her faith in Charlotte’s opinions. Tom had lost his greatest financier and worried for the loss of Sanditon. Mary could only think of Sidney and what this could do to him. Sidney was resigned to his fate. He hoped his family would clear his debt to the bank quickly before it was too late for him. Pensive, he looked to Charlotte, who did not meet his gaze.  
They all took their places around the dining table. Charlotte held Mary’s hand tightly.  
The solicitor read very slowly, the voice of Lady Denham easily heard in the words spoken.

I expect you are all very keen to find out exactly where my money is going, now that I have seen fit to shuffle off. I will not keep you in suspense.   
I have left plans for a fine Italian Strolling Garden with statue of myself and Sir Harry. This is to be placed centrally in the town, in the style of Osborne House, and made from Carrera marble and Portland stone. Funds of ten thousand pounds for the garden are secured. Mr Tom Parker will oversee design. I expect the finest grandeur.   
New stables are to be built for the Asses and they are to remain as a feature of Sanditon in perpetuity, providing rides and entertainment for our visitors.   
The remainder of the estate is left to the people of Sanditon, administered by the Trustees of Sanditon. It will come as no surprise the Sanditon Trustees are:  
Mr Tom Parker (without financial responsibility)  
Mr Sidney Parker  
Lord Babbington  
Lady Babbington   
Mrs Mary Parker  
Miss Charlotte Heywood  
Sir Edward Denham

An income for each trustee of one thousand pounds will be drawn from the estate.  
The estate will finance the continued development of Sanditon as the finest seaside resort on the south coast. All decisions pertaining to the apportioning of funds will be made unanimously.   
I expect my funeral to be a grand affair, fitting for the grand town of Sanditon. Mr Tom Parker is tasked with the arrangements, and Mr Parker, you will not let me down. My life was highly agreeable and dying not as disagreeable as I’d expected. Arrangements will be celebratory in nature and not dour.  
Your ever present,   
Lady Elisabeth Denham.

The tension broke. Mary started to cry with relief.   
Lord Babbington spoke first.   
“I think I speak for everyone here, that this is the greatest news imaginable. Sanditon is saved. The debt can be cleared. The axe hanging over Sidney can be removed.”  
Tom jumped to his feet. “With the debt paid, Sanditon will be unstoppable, we can rebuild, bigger, better than before.” Mary sharply told him to sit down.   
Edward pondered his one thousand pound income. Better than he’d expected, how pleasing of his old Aunt.   
Sidney deliberated but said nothing.   
Lord Babbington spoke up after several minutes of debate.  
“Well that seems to be unanimous. I vote we clear the debt and give Sidney his life back. He has had the threat of one jail or another hanging over him for far too long.”  
Tom cheered. Lady Babbington smiled at her very happy husband. Edward nodded in agreement, no skin off his nose. Mary continued to dab her eyes. Sidney remained silent.   
Charlotte could not look up, but she spoke, quietly.  
“No.”


	70. Charlotte, right as always

Mary gasped “Charlotte!” Of all the people around the table she had the most to gain if the debt was repaid. And Sidney of course. How could she deny Sidney?  
“What! Charlotte, really?” Tom could not believe it.  
Everyone just stared. Charlotte held her confidence and steadied her voice.  
“No. Lady Denham left her estate to Sanditon for development and to benefit the town. Not to pay the bank.”  
There was absolute silence as the assembled company took in what she had said. Sidney broke the silence.  
“Miss Heywood is, in fact, quite correct. The Sanditon Trust is for the development of Sanditon. It is not there to alleviate the debt held by Parker Developments.” Sidney looked across the table at Charlotte. Of all the times she had astounded him, this was the most astounding. He felt enormous pride in her and total agreement. Lady Denham’s legacy was for the town of Sanditon, not to absolve him of his responsibilities and Tom’s mistakes. Charlotte looked back at Sidney. They shared the slightest of smiles. Charlotte was relieved, he understood and did not think badly of her. She had been the only one to disagree with consensus. His good opinion still mattered, despite the fact he could never be hers.   
The meeting dissolved as the parties could no longer continue any discussion. Sidney asked Babbington for some time.   
“The Tavern beckons rather.” Babbington was trying to keep cheery. 

Back at Trafalgar House, Georgiana had taken advantage of a quiet moment to speak to Mr Stringer. She had some very set ideas of the sort of home she wanted for herself and Arthur, essentially a virtual replica of her home in Antigua. James had never seen a building like it, and was very excited to be able to design and build something so different to the current fashion. It would definitely add to his growing reputation and portfolio.

In the Tavern, Sidney and Babbington bought several bottles of wine. There was much to discuss. Sidney began “She has released me, Babbers, I’m free.” He spoke the words calmly, there was no sadness, and no joy.  
“Gracious man, some good news at last.”  
“Is it? I have no way of paying off the debt.” Sidney stared into his wine glass, a sense of melancholy surrounded him.   
“But you are free. Free to marry Charlotte, surely you’ll ask for her hand?” Babbington really wanted to bring some happiness to his poor desperate friend.   
“I cannot. I am in no situation to be accepted. I could be imprisoned at any time. Whatever money or dowry she has would be lost, her family disgraced as much as mine. That is if she even has any feeling for me.”  
“Indeed. I was surprised at her position over the debt, but I’m sure she wouldn’t see you jailed.” Babbington was looking troubled again.   
“I could not love her more, Babbers. Her integrity, her sense of what is fair, honest and decent, even if it meant disgrace, she would still do the honourable thing.” Babbington saw the shining pride in Sidney’s eyes.   
“Absolute discretion Babbers. I’m counting on you.”  
“What, not even Crowe?”  
“Definitely not Crowe.”

After a long and tiring day Charlotte and Alison readied to leave. As it was late, Mr Stringer offered to ride with them and return with Mr Parker’s coach in the morning. Alison and James hoped Mr Heywood would give his consent for them to marry. There was a small blot on their happiness. Charlotte. Being the older sister, Charlotte ought to be the first to marry. If Alison usurped her, Charlotte could be considered an old maid. Alison didn’t want that for her sister. She had spoken to James of her worries, who quite candidly expressed his thoughts to her.   
“I believed Charlotte had an understanding.” Alison’s eyes grew wide with excitement.   
“But he did not prove worthy of her.” James looked sad.  
“Mr Sidney Parker?”  
“Aye.”  
“Well we cannot allow that to spoil our happiness. I could not. I know Charlotte would not. Papa will understand.”  
The Miss Heywoods and Mr Stringer travelled back to Willingden. It was a quiet and thoughtful journey. Stringer was a little nervous of Mr Heywood, and hoped he would look upon him favourably. Alison worried that Sidney had hurt Charlotte, and that she was about to do the same with her good news. Charlotte wondered where Sidney had disappeared to after the Will reading, but concluded that Eliza most likely had snapped her fingers.   
The party arrived in time for supper. Mr and Mrs Heywood were not too surprised at the appearance of Mr Stringer, despite his reasoning for his travel to Willingden. They shared glances of a variety that a long married couple share when no words are required. After a hearty meal and the usual bedtime mayhem of the young Heywoods, Papa asked Mr Stringer to walk with him. They strolled to the bridge over the river at the far end of the farm buildings. Mr Heywood stopped.   
“Mr Stringer, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to escort my daughters home.”  
“It is my very great pleasure Mr Heywood.”  
“Was there anything else you wished to discuss with me, Mr Stringer?” Mr Heywood was certain this young man had something on his mind. James took a deep breath and hoped with all his heart for a favourable outcome.  
“Mr Heywood, I’d like your permission to wed Miss Alison.” James held his breath.  
“What does my daughter say to this?” Mr Heywood applied a gentle pressure. “For if she does not love you I cannot allow it.” Mr Heywood saw the look of panic in James’ eyes and softened. “Similarly Mr Stringer, if you do not love her wholeheartedly and without boundary...”  
“I do! With all my heart. With all my soul. With every bone in my..”  
“Yes quite.” Mr Heywood did not require details. “Let us speak with Alison.”  
Watching from the kitchen window, Alison saw the two most important men in her life walking together back to the house. Papa looked benevolent, James less nervous than previously.


	71. Eliza’s Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter of all.  
> When it came to me (I don’t take any credit for what the Sanditon characters tell me as they play in my head) I was struck by the timings that shape our lives.

A nightmare had followed Eliza through her married life. For ten years it reoccurred, dogging her sleep, and disturbing her peace. This night it returned once again.  
Eliza stood with Sidney, their seventeen year old selves. It was the night of the Sanditon Fishermen’s Dance and Eliza was not pleased.  
“Why on earth are we here Sidney?” She watched her younger self berate him.  
“For the family.” Beautiful young Sidney smiled his smile of love, the one that was just hers.  
“Oh Tom! With his over enthusiastic fanciful ideas, he neglects you. You need a sensible brother. And little Arthur, such a contrary child. Over lethargic one moment and over energetic the next. And let us not dwell on dull old Diana. Sidney really?”  
Sidney’s face fell, the sadness in his eyes burned.  
“Regardless, I have news. I have recently made the acquaintance of a Mr Campion with a fortune of fifty thousand. He has interests in industry and enterprise. He is elderly and in poor health. He could not be a better prospect. I intend to marry him Sidney. Our understanding is at an end.”  
She always awoke crying, the look on Sidney’s face etched into her memory. Her cruelty had been extreme. She had never forgiven herself. 

As each new day dawned a new gift was delivered to Berkeley Square from Lord Chichester. This morning a dozen pure white roses and a note.  
‘Roses for the most beautiful rose of all’. Eliza was utterly thrilled, and still keeping the poor man waiting for an answer. Her thoughts were with Sidney. There was one more thing that she needed to do, before she could accept Lord Chichester’s proposal.  
Eliza swept into the bank. She was welcomed most reverentially, and immediately shown through to the Chairman’s office. Mr Campion had been their wealthiest and most important investor. Mrs Campion, if it so suited her, could cause a run on the bank’s finances on a whim. Her investments contributed over half of the bank’s deposits.  
“Mrs Campion, what can I do for your today?” The chairman was nervous and a little oily.  
“You hold a debt, Sir, for Parker Developments. I understand it is substantial. I should like to guarantee it. It will not be called in nor foreclosed. Am I understood?”  
“I understand you implicitly, Mrs Campion. Your wish, of course, will be implemented immediately. I hope you are happy with the conduct of the business and investments you hold with us?” The chairman was sweating in a highly unattractive manner.  
“For now.” Eliza swept graciously from the bank. Her conscience almost absolved of the guilt she had felt for ten long years.  
Once home, Eliza wrote a letter.

My Dearest Sidney,  
I have today visited the bank. The Parker Developments debt in now in my guarantee. It is yours to pay as your business allows. It cannot be withdrawn or foreclosed. You have my promise.  
I know your honour would not allow you to take payment from me without reparation.  
I hope this goes some small way to heal the hurt that has languished between us these many years. I wish you every happiness my dearest.  
Your ever loving friend.  
Eliza. 

It was a little unfortunate that Eliza’s letter arrived after an important looking missive from the bank. Delivered by a bank clerk, who had been told to run all the way to Bedford Place.  
Sidney opened it gingerly. The bank requested his presence. Sidney decided it was best not to delay his fate. He took his warmest wool cloak. A cell in the debtors prison was likely quite cold.  
Sidney walked into the bank, head held high. He would not look like a hanged man for these vultures. He expected a welcome from wardens but instead he was shown to the Chairman’s office. A little startled by the courtesy and politeness he was being shown, as last time he’d been summarily dismissed, Sidney was offered a seat and wine.  
“Mr Parker, how very good of you to meet with me today. You are well I hope?” The flaccid, over fed chairman seemed to ooze sweat. Sidney recalled the florid face of Mr Howard. He felt most confused but was equal it to.  
“You requested my presence.” Sidney decided testy was a reasonable expression of his mood.  
“Yes of course. I hope it was not an inconvenience?”  
“Please get to the point.” If he was to be incarcerated, why go through this charade of politeness.  
“Mr Parker, Sir, the bank would merely like to express our infinite gratitude and appreciation of the business Parker Developments has brought. If there is anything that we can do, anything at all, please do call on me. I am at your disposal always.”  
After more grovelling politeness from the ingratiating Chairman, Sidney Parker left the bank, not quite sure what to make of things. 

Returning to Bedford Place he was pleased to find Crowe waiting for him. It had become a habit for either Crowe or Babbington to call on Sidney mid morning. The friends were still concerned for his behaviour and called at Bedford Place daily, just in case. Today he found Sidney in great spirits. They discussed the meeting at the bank over breakfast until the post was brought.  
Sidney read Eliza’s note first. There was also a note written in a hand he did not recognise.  
Suddenly liberated from the worries that had beset him these last months, Sidney was exuberant. Crowe was very amused at the sight of him leaping from his chair with a shout.  
“Crowe, it’s over. I am finally free.”  
“Lady E running true to form?” Crowe raised an eyebrow.  
“She has saved me, and Tom, without need of compensation.”  
“For the price of your soul and your loins no doubt.”  
Sidney passed Crowe the note.  
It wasn’t until after a celebratory luncheon and some much needed champagne that Sidney found the second letter.  
It was a beautifully embroidered card with A and J initials intertwined, inviting Sidney to the wedding of Miss Alison Heywood to Mr James Stringer.  
Crowe peered over Sidney’s shoulder. “Marvellous. Always fancied a trip to Willingden.”


	72. Preparing for the Wedding

Since the first letter Alison had received from Mr Stringer, she had begun her sewing. There were twelve outfits of varying sizes to fashion, six identical boys, four identical girls. She decided against asking Charlotte to wear the same as the little ones. She would need something sophisticated and elegant. As would Mama. It was most fortunate that Charlotte visited London and brought back the satins and silks Alison had requested. Charlotte’s dress would be a light pink silk with a voile overskirt to give the effect of a gossamer shimmer. The bodice was tight and low, as was the fashion this season, a style Charlotte wore well. The silk was fine enough to move like water and would emphasise Charlotte’s figure to great effect. Mama’s dress was a regal deep blue embroidered with pearls from her wedding dress. The lace for Alison’s own dress and veil had taken many long nights but was finally finished.   
The date had been set and with only a week left to prepare, Alison worked very hard.   
The whole village was invited as were many of the residents of Sanditon. Mr Stringer invited friends and some of his many patrons. The wedding party would be in the hay barn. As spring had begun the barn was mostly empty and the remaining hay bales would come in useful.   
Alison gathered her siblings. Anyone able to hold a broom was tasked with sweeping. Bales were moved to the walls and some piled to provide tables to serve food. Bunting decorated the rafters. After a good day’s work, Alison’s corps of Heywoods exhausted, she was happy with the effect. Table cloths covered the bales and afforded seating for those not dancing. Mr Heywood had his eye on a pig ready for roasting and Mama had worked on producing all manner of sweet treats. George, four years younger than Alison, was the family candle maker and had been tasked with making many beeswax and tallow candles, fragranced with rose petals. He’d complained the burning would be affected by the petals but Alison insisted, as she wanted a pleasing scent. George felt he’d made enough candles for a year, but Alison pressed him for more. Sarah Heywood, at two years younger than Alison was the family vintner. Her special talent for producing delicious wines from every fruit the farm grew was quite legendary in the village. Sarah had a large store of her wares ready. She had begun her brewings the day she had met Mr Stringer and seen the light in her sister’s eyes.   
The final chore was to move the piano from the parlour to the barn. Many villagers would bring their instruments and join Papa in the music making. Indeed there were enough Heywoods alone, to keep up a merry tune well into the night.   
Charlotte helped as much as she could. The pig was slaughtered and hung. The sewing of clothes all finished. The courtyard tidied of farming tools. The ducks, geese and chickens moved to a further barn. But she felt a little detached from the excitement, as if watching from a distance. Alison’s elation was palpable but didn’t affect Charlotte as she would have liked it to. Charlotte’s dress was beautiful, but didn’t bring the joy it should. She knew it would certainly turn heads. She was, in fact, feeling dread. James had invited Tom and Mary and the children, which she was looking forward to. He had also invited Sidney and in all likelihood, he would bring Eliza. Charlotte didn’t want another encounter with her, like the races. She may not hold her temper next time, and drenching Eliza in Sarah’s blackberry beer would not do, although it played out pleasingly in Charlotte’s head.   
Charlotte had invited Susan. Her advice had been invaluable. They had discussed Eliza’s rudeness at Ascot and Susan had assured Charlotte that no ruination could come from Eliza’s insult. Charlotte needed Susan by her side if she was to face that woman again. Georgiana would of course attend, and this cheered Charlotte a great deal.

The morning of the wedding dawned. Sidney had travelled to Sanditon the previous night, so the Parker family would arrive en masse. He felt arriving alone with no strong connection to the bride and a loose business connection to the groom, would appear strange. Arriving with Tom and Mary suited him better. In truth, he felt nervous.   
It was puzzling that there was no sign of Eliza. Mary had to ask.   
“Previous engagement unfortunately, she sends her apologies.” Sidney would not be drawn further. Now was not the time. Mary considered a country wedding was probably not to her taste.   
They readied to leave. All dressed in their finery. Sidney wearing a new fitted top coat in darkest blue velvet, made to fit his slimmer frame. He was no longer gaunt but the weight he had lost had not yet been regained. Georgiana and Arthur shared the carriage with Tom, Mary and the children. Sidney rode alongside on his horse. It was an enjoyable journey on reasonable if bumpy tracks.   
As he rode, Sidney felt the flutter of nerves in his stomach. How would Charlotte greet him, if she acknowledged him at all. Sidney was rather looking forward to the wedding. A chance to dance with Charlotte, and if she were favourable, perhaps a moment to share his most recent and surprising news with her. He considered. Charlotte, Eliza has thrown me over for another, marry me. It sounded so preposterous in his head that he laughed. Perhaps the day of her sister’s wedding was not the moment to surprise her. A better moment would come. He would enjoy the day and hope to simply enjoy her company.


	73. The Wedding

The weather was glorious. The spring flowers plentiful. Finally the day had dawned and Alison was in a flutter. It was Charlotte’s lot to keep her calm, get her dressed, and fix her hair. Mama got the little ones ready. The boys were all dressed in satin breeches with emerald top coats. The girls in deep pink silks, offset Charlotte’s light pink dress beautifully. Papa looked at his whole brood, a tear of pride in his eye, which only Mama noticed.   
Charlotte greeted the guests. Tom and Mary, and Georgiana and Arthur descended their carriage. George helped Sidney settle his horse. Charlotte wondered where Eliza could be. Why had Sidney come on horseback, alone?  
The church was filled, every pew taken. Guests and villagers sitting comfortably close. Mama rallied her brood.  
“Come on my bunch of blossoms.”  
Sidney watched from the back. The troop of Heywoods fascinated him. He’d spotted Charlotte immediately, and watched her as she marshalled her siblings into sitting together without arguing, tiny ones doubled up on the laps of elders.   
Stringer looked nervous and shifted uncomfortably, looking around for Alison’s arrival. She was not late, and would have been early if Papa had not slowed her.   
The ceremony was joyful and the singing loud. The happy couple looked ecstatic, unable to let go of each other’s hands to accept the flower tributes from the guests. Confetti collected from the spring hawthorn blossom was thrown over them as they emerged. It had been the youngest Heywoods present to Alison and they had toiled long to pick enough blossom for everyone.  
The whole congregation walked the few minutes back to the Heywoods’ farm and entered the transformed hay barn, covered in bunting and candles, tables laden with food and many, many bottles of wine.   
The guests gasped as they entered. It was quite magical. The villagers took up their instruments and music filled the air. The roasted pig was carved and Mr Heywood took great pride in providing a slice or two for each guest. Arthur enthusiastically sampled everything.

Charlotte felt the presence of Sidney, his eyes seemed to follow her. She had greeted him briefly but had so many friends to meet and introduce to her Papa, that she managed to escape his glances.   
The party settled into very amicable dancing, eating and much drinking. Sarah’s elderflower wine was used to toast the happy couple. The music flowed as various members of the Heywood family took turns to sing or play, accompanied by villagers and friends. Mr Heywood was a very accomplished piano player. Even Charlotte played tolerably well. James and Alison lead the dancing, still unable to leave each other’s side. James had the widest smile, his realisation that he now had eleven new siblings, from previously having none, was a pleasing wonder.   
Sidney had never been to a wedding like it. There were children everywhere, dancing with each other, or their parents, or strangers. On reflection they mostly seemed to be Heywoods. There was very little formality and everyone talked with everyone. Sidney watched Charlotte. She had the pick of the boys from the village. Well, men in reality. Sidney had never seen so many men with arms the size of a leg of mutton and hands like frying pans. He wondered if Willingden was founded by a race of marauding celts, or vikings. He was glad to have never come up against any of these specimens in a boxing match. He was certainly discomforted watching them dance with Charlotte. Their enormous hands dwarfing her tiny waist, they spun her around at great speed, as she laughed without a care.   
Charlotte kept away from Sidney. She found it easier to keep dancing with all the boys she knew so well, they were just like her brothers. She could see Sidney standing alone, an outlier, occasionally speaking to Tom and Mary or Babbington and Crowe. Charlotte felt urged to speak to him, perhaps even dance with him. It would be the last time. Decorum and her nerves did not allow it.  
Breathless, Charlotte eventually stopped dancing to speak with Georgiana and Arthur. Both were throughly enjoying themselves. Arthur complimented Mr Heywood on the marvellous roast, having had much more than six or seven slices.   
Susan came to speak with her.   
“How are you my dear?” Susan handed Charlotte a glass of wine. “How very shocking that Mrs Campion is not at the side of Mr Parker don’t you think? I sense you have won the race Charlotte, what say you?”  
“That cannot be. Perhaps she is unwell, or busy with her own preparations?”  
“Still many months away, my dear. I fear the horse has fallen at the first fence. She would rather not face you.”  
“I am pleased not to face her.” Charlotte found the wine soothing and Susan quietly ensured her glass was refilled.   
Mr Crowe had also discovered Sarah’s wine and was deep in conversation with Mrs Heywood.   
“Mr Crowe, you really must meet our vintner. Let me present Miss Sarah Heywood. If you believe her wine of such quality I suggest you try her honey brandy or pear calvados, the smoothness of butter with a kick like a mule.” Mrs Heywood rather liked Crowe, such an amusing chap.   
Sarah curtsied slowly regarding the foppish Mr Crowe with intense interest. Crowe was mesmerised, and it wasn’t the wine on this occasion. Sarah was a little taller than Charlotte with curly but fair hair and green eyes. She was a spell binding creature.   
“Can I tempt you on to the floor Miss Heywood?” Crowe bowed majestically. Sarah readily agreed. She had never danced with such a fine gentleman, her friends would be most jealous.   
Arthur pressed another glass of wine into Charlotte’s hands.   
“I find the more I drink the better I feel.” Charlotte was hot and thirsty from the dancing and quickly downed her glass. She too was discovering the more she drank the better she felt. She looked for Sidney. He was deep in conversation with her father! Goodness, what could those two have to say to each other? Charlotte decided to intervene. She wove her way through the dancers.   
“Papa.”  
“Charlotte, dance with this fine gentleman would you. He hasn’t danced all night. Off you go.” Mr Heywood held out Charlotte’s hand to Sidney. She blushed deeply, immensely pleased at her good fortune. Sidney grinned. The music was a fast reel. Charlotte was so happy to be dancing with Sidney once more. They danced two rounds, passing each other frequently, their eyes following, both unable to hide wide smiles. As the music changed, Charlotte nodded a thank you. She needed some air. It was hot and she felt a little unsteady. The wine had emboldened her, but she needed a moment to calm herself.   
She walked down to the river and stood on the bridge looking at the moon’s reflection on the water. Charlotte’s mind spun. His touch was so thrilling. How Charlotte ached to be held once more, his wide frame surrounding her, pressing into her, the heat of his body so welcome. How she wished she could kiss him just once more.   
“Penny for your thoughts Miss Heywood?” The familiar deep drawl came from Sidney standing behind her. This time he was smiling broadly.   
Charlotte turned to him.  
“Errr, I was thinking how very hard it is to make people out.” Jolted back from her reverie Charlotte could not admit to her real contemplations.  
“Did anyone in particular provoke that thought?” Sidney had a teasing air about him. There was a laugh in his voice as he spoke.  
Charlotte faced Sidney directly.  
“You.” She said simply. Sidney smiled more broadly and stepped towards her. The moonlight lit her eyes, she seemed to sparkle. Sidney took another step closer, his hands circled her waist and he lifted her onto her toes, bending slightly to kiss her. Charlotte a little unstable, leaned against his chest, holding his shoulders, the warmth of him melted her. Their second kiss was more passionate and urgent than the first on the cliff top. A crushing of lips, his hands pulling her into him. Sidney’s body reacting to her nearness, for the briefest of moments he pressed her firmly to him, then thought to release her, just a little.   
“We should go back, do you think? We might be seen.” Sidney did not want any impropriety.  
“I don’t care.” Charlotte felt daring. She smiled up at Sidney, taking in the features she had missed for so long.  
They heard a giggle behind them and footsteps on the path. Jumping apart, they saw...  
“Sarah!”  
“Charlotte?”  
“Crowe!!!”  
“Sidney. .um.”  
“Good god man. What do you think you are doing?” Sidney snatched Crowe’s arm and dragged him away.  
“Could say the same, old chum.” Crowe slurred slowly. Sidney concluded he wasn’t as drunk as he pretended.   
“She’s all of eighteen.” Sidney immediately understood Mr Heywood’s stern countenance.  
“Nineteen.”  
“Do you want to be the next one married! Crowe you fool.”  
“NO! Errr. Well. Actually. Umm.” Crowe was remarkably sober.   
“Sidney, I’ve found someone who can bring me to heel. She is divine. And she makes wine.” Crowe dissolved into giggles. Not as sober as he thought after all.   
Charlotte meanwhile grasped her sister by the hand and dragged her back inside.   
“Do you know what would happen if Papa saw, or anyone?” Charlotte was really cross.  
“You were outside too. And I was just going to show Mr Crowe the orchard.” Sarah was unrepentant and put out. She liked Mr Crowe’s company. Charlotte was more cross her wonderful kiss had been interrupted.  
“You cannot be alone with a man like that.” Charlotte’s fury had little to do with Sarah now and much more to do with the loss of Sidney. In order not to draw attention to themselves, the sisters began a dance together, smiles in place, while sniping between gritted teeth.   
“Don’t tell anyone.” Charlotte warned her.  
“That you were outside with a gentleman?” Sarah was still annoyed at being caught.  
“Not that. You! And Mr Crowe.”


	74. The End of the Day

Sidney walked Crowe back into the barn, and marched him smartly towards Babbington.   
“Keep an eye on this reprobate, Babbers.” Sidney left them to stalk around the barn looking for a way back towards Charlotte that looked accidental. She was keeping Sanditon rah close company.  
It had got rather late. Alison and James said their goodbyes and left to spend their first night together in the guest cottage. The one James had stayed in on his first visit.  
Guests started to drift away. Tom found Sidney and suggested they leave for home. The children were tired, Henry was already asleep on a hay bale. Sadly the moment had passed and with fewer guests Sidney could not risk getting too close to Charlotte. They said their goodbyes very politely as the Heywood battalion, minus Alison, stood in line thanking their guests. Charlotte’s eyes told Sidney everything he’d hoped for.   
Charlotte watched as Sidney mounted his horse and followed behind Tom’s carriage. The pain of their parting hit her like a wave, somehow worst than the first time on the cliff. This time it was expected pain. Would this be the last time she would ever see him? 

The carriage with sleepy Parker’s made its way back to Willingden. Sidney was glad of the cool night air as he followed behind. His mind captured and replayed the kiss with Charlotte. How she’d smiled, the warm closeness of her as she lent against him. He laughed at her slight unsteadiness and wine fuelled boldness. His blood warmed as he thought of her kissing him quite passionately. It had not all been his doing. She had most definitely reciprocated, more fiercely than him. Had it not been Charlotte, he may not have held back. But for her, he would be a gentleman. It was probably a good thing they’d been interrupted when they had.   
The carriage trundled on, Sidney cantering beside. The clear night sky clouded over, a wind followed and before they reached Sanditon a fearful spring storm thundered from the heavens. The rain poured, the lightening frightened the horses. Sidney urged his horse to quicken, wanting to get out of the howling gale. The rain lashed him, making his eyes sting. His clothes were soaked and heavy. His horse stumbled on the track and he fell behind the carriage. Sidney decided it was safer to walk and lead his horse the final miles home. In the dark and with rain pouring, it was quite hard to see the track. Sidney and his horse walked slowly on.  
Thankfully the carriage arrived home safely. Mary carried the children to bed. Tom felt a growing unease.  
“I’ll take a horse and see if I can meet Sidney. The storm was quite fearsome.” In the stables, Tom, sensing something was wrong, jumped into the saddle and rode quickly back along the track. He felt a great deal more concerned than he had shown to Mary. Tom had lost sight of Sidney some miles back and the wind and rain had been savage. Fortunately the storm was short and with the skies cleared, there was starlight to show the way. A few miles from Sanditon, Tom was able to make out the figure of Sidney and his horse walking their way across the hill. Sidney’s horse had stumbled and was lame, it walked carefully and slowly. Sidney was drenched through to the bone and shivering with cold, unable to speak coherently. Tom covered Sidney in his cloak and put him on his horse. He walked both horses back. At dawn they arrived at Trafalgar House, Sidney blue with cold, no longer shivering and finding it difficult to stay awake. Tom had talked to him all the way home, insisting on replies to his many questions. As they arrived, exhausted, Sidney slipped from his horse, and was thankfully caught by Tom, who carried him inside. With help from the servants, Sidney was taken to the guest room. He was unable to stand and made no sense at all, only able to mumble incomprehensibly. His wet clothes were removed and he was placed in the warm and dry bed. Tom started a roaring fire in the grate. He stayed watching Sidney, sitting in the chair by his bed, continually stoking the fire. Sidney was deathly pale, and very cold. He was still, unmoving. Tom was very worried. As dawn gave way to morning and Sidney remained stupefied, Tom woke Mary.   
“Please fetch Dr Fuchs. I’m very worried for Sidney.” Poor Mary had awaited the arrival of her beloved husband and Sidney into the early hours. She had helped settle Sidney in bed, then got a little sleep. Now scared for him, Mary rushed to dress and went to fetch Dr Fuchs.


	75. Dr Fuchs

Dr Fuchs arrived at Trafalgar House in his usual busied and compelling way.   
“Ze doktor has arrived. Ver iz ze patient?” Mary directed him upstairs, where Tom was still sitting with Sidney.  
Sidney looked very unwell. He was languorous and insensible. Comatose but not resting, mildly agitated but incomprehensible, and very cold.   
Dr Fuchs was worried.   
“It is my solemn duty to tell you, Mr Parker’s condition is very precarious indeed. I fear he may not see out the day.”  
Tom collapsed back into the chair. Mary let out a small scream.  
“Mr Parker has the cold delirium. He must be warmed.” Dr Fuchs brought out a metal square vessel with a funnel.   
“Fill this with boiling water.” He handed it to Mary, who ran to the kitchen.  
“Mr Parker, you must do all you can to warm him. I suggest calves foot broth, made from river water, a teaspoon given regularly.”  
Mary returned with the vessel filled with boiling water, the cork firmly in the funnel and wrapped in her shawl. Dr Fuchs placed it close to Sidney under the bedclothes.   
“Come Mrs Parker, we will make the broth.” They left Tom shocked and scared for his brother’s life. Tom took hold of Sidney’s ice cold hand and kissed it.  
“Come brother dear, do not give up. There is much to live for.” He stroked and held his hand, warming it in his. Sidney stirred and mumbled. Tom leant close to hear him say “Charlotte.”

Charlotte woke the next day, a slight fuzziness in her head but a warm feeling in her heart. She could still feel his arms around her, his hands so firmly clasping her waist, it took her breath. He was gone, but the love Charlotte felt comforted her. She could not help but feel cheered, but she dreaded the pain of loss that was coming.  
Alison and James were not seen at breakfast. Indeed Mama did not lay a table setting for them. Instructions were given to the smaller Heywoods to leave them be and not go knocking. Charlotte made her way to the barn to start her work. As she busied herself, she heard a slight groan from a dark corner. Investigating, she found Mr Crowe, waking from a night in a comfortable pile of hay.  
“Good Morning Miss Heywood. I trust your evening brought you joy?” He grinned rather oddly at Charlotte.  
“Mr Crowe. Can I have a word please.” She needed to have a stern talk with him, over last night’s behaviour. They strolled towards the river.  
“My sister, Mr Crowe.”  
“I assure you Miss Heywood, what you saw, what you thought you saw, nothing untoward..”  
“My sister is young and naive, Mr Crowe.”  
“Miss Heywood. Miss Sarah is a quite remarkable young woman, who I would very much like to get to know better. I am in complete control of my senses I assure you.”  
“You know what Papa would have done if he’d caught you?” Charlotte smiled, she could sense his honest intentions. Who was she to judge where love could spring.  
Crowe laughed.   
“Parker left me in no doubt on that score.” The mention of Sidney, clouded Charlotte’s face for a moment and this did not go unnoticed by Crowe.  
“Am I to assume I shall be visiting Willingden again shortly?” He enquired cautiously.  
“Sir, you are very welcome to visit anytime.” Charlotte felt quite pleased his interest in her sister extended to visiting.  
“I meant, Miss Heywood on the occasion of your wedding?”  
“Err, there’s seems little point in a wedding when there is no one to marry.” Was he teasing her, or just drunk?  
“Miss Heywood. Your conversation with Sidney last night. Did he? Did he indicate anything? Anything at all?”  
“I believe we were interrupted Mr Crowe.” She frowned and blushed in equal measure, at the sudden memory of the kiss. Charlotte wasn’t sure what Mr Crowe might have been suggesting or what he had seen.  
Crowe grimaced understanding how his behaviour had rather spoiled things for Charlotte.   
“Oh you fool Crowe! Although not as big a fool,  
as your man Parker.” Crowe smiled at Charlotte, the look on her face telling him she had no idea at all of Sidney’s intentions. He warmed to the idea of being the one to tell her.   
“He is not, cannot be, my Mr Parker!” Charlotte rose to anger rather quicker than she’d expected. Her screwed face amused Crowe further. He had to put her out of her misery.  
“If I may, Charlotte, he loves you and.”  
“He is engaged Mr Crowe!” How many times did she have to remind people of that! Charlotte was now astounded at the cruelty. Why tease in this way?  
Crowe laughed a hearty guffaw at Charlotte’s red and confused face.   
“Gracious no! Lady E released him. He is no more engaged than I am. Yet.”   
Charlotte’s legs no longer held her, fortunately Mr Crowe did. When he was sure sense had returned to her, he carefully placed Charlotte up against the bridge wall, ensuring she was now able to hold herself on her feet. Charlotte mouthed words but emitted no sound.  
Sarah greeted them. “Outside with another gentleman Charlotte? Mama asks if Mr Crowe would like breakfast?”


	76. Sidney is Unwell

Mary and Tom remained at Sidney’s side. They kept the fire kept stoked, and hot water vessel replenished. They were unable to administer any Calves Foot broth. Sidney remained unchanged. He could not be roused. His skin had a blue tinged hue. He was benumbed, and delirious. His mutterings were insensible, save for the one clear calling of “Charlotte”. On the second calling of her name, Tom jumped up.   
“I will fetch her, Mary. Sidney needs her. We all do. I shall fetch her this minute.” Tom ran out to ready his horse. He needed to act, sitting did not suit him at all. He had to act now, to save Sidney. Charlotte would know what to do.   
He drove the curricle for speed and took off at a fair pace for Willingden. It wasn’t long before he arrived and clattered into the Heywood’s farmyard.   
Astonished at his sudden appearance, everyone rushed to him. Tom jumped from the curricle and ran to Charlotte. He looked ashen and spoke only to her. He took hold of Charlotte’s hands.  
“My dear, Sidney is gravely ill. You must come. He has asked for you.”  
Tears sprang to Charlotte’s eyes, Tom looked so frightened. There was no time to lose. Mr Heywood saw to Tom’s horse and carriage. He readied his fastest horse and they departed with haste.   
As Tom drove on, he explained to Charlotte the events of the previous night. The storm, Sidney’s lame horse, walking home in the rain, how he found him, frozen and wet. Charlotte was terrified. She recalled how baby Lizzie had fallen into the pond one spring day. She had declined into a stupor and Mama had warmed her by the fire until she was well. Charlotte tried not to cry but with the horse cantering swiftly and a strong wind in her face, Charlotte found her eyes streaming.   
As soon as they arrived at Trafalgar House, Charlotte ran inside looking for Mary. She ran up the stairs straight to the room that she always stayed in. There, in her bed, lay Sidney. He was blue, unmoving, asleep or worse, she could not tell. The was no sign of life. Fear shook her. Mary and Tom stood in the doorway unsure of what to do. Charlotte found strength from somewhere.   
“Mary help me. We must warm him. Take his hand.” With Mary to one side, Charlotte took Sidney’s hand in hers. It was ice cold. She rubbed it hoping to bring back some feeling. Her hands continued up his forearm. Mary watched Charlotte and did the same. After several minutes, it was obvious they were having no effect. Charlotte placed her hand on Sidney’s forehead. It was icy cold. A servant was sent to purchase another hot water vessel from Dr Fuchs. The fire now roaring was stoked some more. Charlotte requested hot water be brought to them. She fashioned compresses from muslin strips and placed these in the hot water. Burning her fingers as she rung out the water, she placed the hot compresses on his wrists to warm the blood that travelled his arms. A compress was laid on his forehead also. Sidney seemed to groan or mumble. It was faint but heartwarming. The silence from him had scared them both the most.   
As night fell, Mary retired to her bed. Charlotte would not leave. Waiting until the house was quiet Charlotte wriggled out of her stays. She stood in her long chemise, nervously biting her lip.  
She gathered her courage and slipped under the bedcovers. Sidney, in a long nightgown, felt like ice against her. Charlotte held him, hoping with all her heart that she could warm him. As she clung to him, she slipped her hand inside his shirt and laid it over his heart. She needed the reassurance it continued to beat. Under her breath she counted the beats of his heart.  
His breathing was scarcely perceptible. For the longest time he was still, unmoving, and so very cold. She watched the minute rise and fall in his throat urging each breath in and out. As her body heat was imparted to him she started to shiver. Her whole body trembled and shook. She wasn’t sure if it was the intense cold from him or the fear she felt for his life. She was chilled through. Very slowly during the darkest night, his breathing eased just slightly. She could see the rise and fall of his breath in his chest. She lay beside him all night never daring to close her eyes.  
As the night gave way to morning, she stoked the fire and dressed quickly in her house dress. She called to Mary.  
“I need more fire wood and the vessels should be refilled.” Mary came in, fear still etched in her face. Tears of relief sprang in her eyes. Sidney was no longer blue.  
Soup was brought for Charlotte and she ate quickly, feeling it replenish her strength and fill her with warmth. Tom sat with Sidney, cupping his hand in his, as Charlotte ate at the small table by the window. She would not leave the room. From where she sat, she could clearly see the minuscule movement in his chest that told her he was still breathing.


	77. Sidney’s Fever

Charlotte sat in the chair next to the bed. To calm herself, she held Sidney’s wrist, feeling the beat of his heart there. He was still not awake but thankfully no longer ice cold.   
Charlotte was brought tea as Dr Fuchs arrived. She watched as he examined Sidney carefully, he listened to his chest and his heart. He stood back and looked pleased.   
“He is strong. His heart beats boldly. There is some way to go yet, but there is every reason to be hopeful.” Dr Fuchs left after prescribing more calves foot broth. Charlotte was relieved when he’d gone. She took up her place at Sidney’s side, her fingers resting around his wrist again. The only place she wanted to be. Charlotte continued to watch over Sidney all day, never moving from his side except to stoke the fire. Occasionally she would rest her hand on his chest and count the beats of his heart. As his breathing faltered she would implore him to breathe, holding her own breath until she saw the rise in his chest. Mary and Tom came regularly. They tried to persuade Charlotte to sleep or eat, or take some time to rest herself. Charlotte refused. Only being close to Sidney mattered. It was afternoon when Charlotte felt a change in him. He felt warmer, and he became a little agitated. He appeared to be muttering and seemed discomforted. Charlotte had taken to checking his body temperature by placing a light kiss on his forehead, when unobserved. Checking now she noticed he was very warm. Charlotte opened the windows and loosened the covers over him. He had started to sweat. Charlotte called Mary and a servant was despatched to fetch Dr Fuchs again.   
Dr Fuchs looked grave. “I shall bring my parasitic worms. They will reduce the fever and release the bad humour.” Charlotte was really not keen on the idea of parasitic worms. Mama always reduced fevers with a cool cloth to the forehead. Charlotte did this now with the strips of muslin. She worked diligently, with cold water compresses on his forehead and wrists. She borrowed Mary’s fan and fanned him. Sidney grew delirious and agitated. He muttered and mumbled. Charlotte was frightened. Charlotte studied Sidney carefully. Nothing had passed his lips for a day. His eyes were sunken and hollow. Charlotte knew he needed water. She dripped cool water on to his lips, and spooned small amounts into his mouth. When Dr Fuchs arrived with his bowl of parasitic worms, he thankfully decided against the treatment. Charlotte was again grateful when he had gone. She continued with administering drops of water and cooling compresses. She called for honey and added it to the water she gave him. She began to feel less fear and more hope. Over the hours her confidence grew. She asked Mary for a chicken to be boiled and the broth brought to her. The calves foot broth smelt awful and she threw it away. That night, less fearful for his life Charlotte laid beside him, over the blankets. Her hand remained on his heart counting the beats. After so long with no sleep at all, Charlotte wearied by the fear she had felt, gave in to sleep.   
She was woken at dawn by a fearful sound. Sidney was moving and coughing uncomfortably. He was hot again and his chest heaved painfully as he breathed. Charlotte had seen this before with the babies. Croup was horrible but treatable. Sidney’s cough sounded the same. She called for hot water and mint leaves and infused the leaves in a bowl by his bed. She purloined the chafing dish from the dining room to keep the water heated and steam rising into the air. Sidney continued to cough painfully.   
The noise had woken Mary and Tom and they entered to find Sidney coughing fitfully. The only benefit to the coughing seemed to be that it roused Sidney from his stupor and he was able to open his eyes. Speaking was painful and he had no breath for it, so gave up as it made the cough worse.   
Charlotte was looking for cushions.  
“Can I have as many pillows as we have. He must sit up.” Tom and Mary were now used to Charlotte’s orders and reacted immediately. They brought all the cotton pillows they had. Tom pulled Sidney to seated, holding him and Charlotte piled the pillows behind him. Together they lowered him against the wall of firm pillows. He looked more comfortable and his eyes registered gratitude. His breathing eased a little.   
Dr Fuchs’ morning visit came again. He was quite surprised by the use of boiling water and mint leaves but could immediately see their benefit. He was quite flabbergasted at the use of the chafing dish and decided to add these to his repertoire. He would call them steam inhalation devices, so he could charge more for them.   
With Sidney now more conscious Charlotte no longer always held his wrist to feel his heart beat. She felt a little shy around him. His shirt was open where she had slipped her hand inside to feel his heart beat. She averted her eyes from his bare skin. She did not wish to embarrass him but felt loss at not being able to touch him. She sat beside him in the chair, providing water and honey to soothe his throat and she read to him.


	78. Sidney Becomes Aware

Sidney lay in bed, unsure of where he was, unable to open his eyes or move. His body wracked with pain. His mind sorted his most recent memories. There was rain, and wind and walking. Then nothing. He searched back further. Ah yes the kiss. Her eyes shining and smiling at him. It occurred to Sidney he might be dead, but then he probably wouldn’t feel a warmth against him if that were the case. Thank goodness for the heat. If he’d been able to move he would have enveloped it, hugged it to him. For he felt nothing. His limbs may or may not have been attached. He had no idea. There was simply no feeling. Insensible of feeling. Why was that a thought? A memory. Sidney drifted into the memories his mind allowed him. Music, dancing, Charlotte. He dreamt of her touch against his skin, her warm hand in his, her breath against his cheek. He could hear her voice, she counted or spoke quiet random words. Please breathe.   
Gradually a feeling of cold gripped him. Cold that ached and stung, as if every part of his body was waking from a crushing sleep. Did he cry out? He could hear something but couldn’t place it. The trembling took over and there was no control, just an out of body shaking that was tiring, so tiring, he slipped away from it. Perhaps he was drowning. Such was the heaviness in his chest. Coming into consciousness later in the dark, his heart a painful random flutter. It seemed to stop for the longest time but for a small warmth that grew in his chest. The warmth urged his heart, to calm and beat steadily. He followed the counting, his heart beat to the voice like a drum summoning troops to battle. Keep going.   
Sidney’s thoughts drifted, or was he dreaming, awake or asleep. He couldn’t tell. There was only Charlotte. Her hand on his chest. Her warmth seemed to bring him to life. Her voice distant but urging. He must be dreaming.   
His body began to burn. He tried to move, but wasn’t sure he was entirely successful. Was he speaking or shouting? He was trapped but did not know what by. Just trapped inside an unresponsive shell. And now so hot. His throat stung with pain, cracking, dry, scorched pain. Until cool water came, so welcome. The thunderous pain in his eyes and head slowly abated to merely excruciating. Her voice, so distant, urged him, stilled his soul. It drew him from the place so far away. He needed to be nearer, to hear more clearly the words spoken. Her voice compelled him forward, to feeling.   
Coolness enveloped his pounding head, the searing pain abated momentarily as Sidney focussed. Pressure on his wrist, a firm cool touch.  
A rupturing cough exploded from him, shaking him to consciousness, lifting his body into spasm. His eyes opened and he saw. He saw Charlotte. Now he knew he was dead. There could be no other explanation. Why did dying hurt so much? Sidney drifted back into unconsciousness.   
Her voice continued to pierce through the pain and Sidney was aware of her hand holding his wrist. Her fingers entwined around it. If his eyes flickered open the touch was lost. He decided his eyes could remain shut. It hurt to open them, his vision was at best shady and her touch too precious to loose.  
The cough woke him frequently, the burning in his throat felt like ripping. In the darkness of night he woke again, and opened his eyes. One candle burned and by its light he saw Charlotte asleep beside him, her hand on his heart.


	79. Mr Crowe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (some respite from poor Sidney’s ailments)

Francis Crowe had always been a lanky boy. Head and shoulders above his peers. The boyhood ribbing had stuck and his defence, learned young was wit and spiced humour. The youngest of three sons, there was no title but enough money to ensure a life of louche gentlemanly pursuits. His mother had hinted at a career in the church, but Francis had very different ideas.   
In his youth he’d suffered at the hands of women. With a keen eye and a healthy interest he was generally overlooked, in favour of Babbers whose charms were his birthright and Sidney. Well, who could compare to Sidney? But standing beside him ensured the attentions of a legion of young ladies.  
Crowe learned amusement was a sound weapon when in pursuit of gratification. As his friends married for better or worse, he found himself more in demand as the entertainment in a barren union.   
While generally indifferent and carefree, he had a desire for sanctuary, where men could be men, free to carouse, imbibe and generally make asses of themselves without drawing the displeasure of women. His Gentleman’s Club was born of this desire. A haven of fine wines, good food and the sort of humorous levity which would make the fairer sex faint.   
He had occasionally found himself on the wrong end of a fist. He’d been free with his affections and not careful enough with his reputation. But he avoided these entanglements when they involved his good friends. His tongue could still run away from him, particularly when freed by a goodly amount of wine. It was an evening of carousing which almost ended in blows between him and Sidney. His transgression was speculating on the charms of a certain Miss Heywood and her liveliness between the sheets. Sidney’s eyes had fired red and glasses had scattered. Crowe knew his old friend was in trouble and Miss Heywood held his leash. He chose not to say.   
Crowe was generally immune to ardent attentions from ladies. They were certainly fun companions for dancing and merriment. Sometimes a little more. But he thought little of installing a permanent feature into his life. His business was close to his heart and his fortune grew from his love of it.   
His second Gentleman’s club, being built in Sanditon was well underway. Try as he might he could no longer prise his friends away from the delights of Sanditon. He couldn’t beat them. He may as well join them.   
It was on the occasion of Miss Alison Heywood’s wedding that Crowe suffered an epiphany. Rather, his heart silenced his mind, and put all previous considerations to one side.   
A vision of perfection had drifted into view. Tall, slim, blonde, unaffected by convention, unaware of her effect on those around, she laughed freely and danced with unfettered joy. She was undoubtedly yet another spirited Heywood. Crowe was lost. This spell binding creature tortured him. His normal wit seemed inappropriate, indeed it deserted him. He felt the gaucheness of his youth return.   
Sidney was of no help. Stalking around the barn like a caged leopard, his quarry, the nimble Miss Heywood was keeping several steps ahead of him.   
Francis watched and waited. He had the good fortune to be introduced to Mrs Heywood, an attractive woman with the humour born of managing a small horde of children. The way to a woman’s heart was through her mother he decided. He was charm itself. It was easy. Her food gourmet, her wines fit for a king’s table. It’s was luck that brought the stunning Miss Sarah to her mother’s side. Francis requested a dance, with all the charm and curtesy he could muster.   
Sarah appraised him coolly and asked.  
“Mr Crowe, you cannot be familiar with Willingden. Here we are all acquainted. I understand in Sanditon the normal rules of conduct are flouted . Would you recommend yourself as a dancing partner?”  
She was certainly direct. Would Francis recommend himself to a young lady? In all honesty he would probably caution against such an encounter. But those words would not pass his lips. He bowed very low.   
“Madam, I move in different circles. I should never wish to disappoint you.” He gently took her hand, placing it over his and they glided into the dance.   
Sarah was enchanting and lively. Her hand rested on his shoulder sliding ever nearer his neck. Her touch sparked a shiver down his spine.   
After certainly more dances than was seemly, Sarah suggested some air. Francis raised a curious eyebrow. Did this quite beguiling young woman suggest a walk alone with him? A twinkle in her eye told him she was happy to take the chance. They walked a few paces outside towards the river. The moonlight suited her glowing skin and she radiated pure beauty. Crowe unconcerned that they might be seen, took hold of her hand and lightly kissed her long elegant fingers. She giggled.   
“Crowe, good god man, what are you doing?” Trust Sidney to ruin the moment.


	80. The Fourth Day

The morning came. Charlotte positioned in the chair. Sidney’s hand in hers, the feel of his pulse stronger now. His moments of lucidity seemed longer and allowed Charlotte to feed him more chicken broth. His cough though still bone shaking no longer left him blue and struggling to breathe.  
Dr Fuchs attended as usual and announced.   
“To mein grosse freude, Mr Parker has responded to my treatment magnificently. His fever has broken. It is not impossible hI e will recover all together.”  
The general rejoicing was quite unconfined. Tom grasped Mary and twirled her around the room from sheer relief.   
Charlotte maintained her vigil at his bedside. The honeyed water still dropped on to his lips. His eyes open for longer. They spoke for his soul.   
For the first time in days, Charlotte felt able to relax. Mary suggested some sea air and Charlotte thought some time to herself to reflect was needed. It was a wrench leaving Sidney but Charlotte needed some exercise. She walked down to the Coves and collected sea shells. The swell of the sea mesmerised her. The sharp breeze cleared her head. Charlotte found many thoughts now crowding her mind. Was Crowe right? Was he really no longer engaged to that woman? Would Eliza really give him up? If that were true, was there still hope? Or had his feelings changed? Was it too late?  
Charlotte thought she still loved him, but for the trust. Could there still be trust? He had cast her aside once. He could do it again. She could not live with that. Would she trust him again?  
Charlotte returned to Trafalgar House.  
Sidney was sleeping peacefully. His cough abated for a short time. She checked his temperature, with the back of her hand now. She stoked the fire.   
They had spent so much time together in the last few days but so few words had been spoken. She had gazed at him hour after hour, as he slept. When he was awake she read or offered water, plumped pillows and straightened blankets, busying herself so she had less time to gaze.  
She knew the time would come soon when they could speak of what was unspoken between them. Charlotte was so very relieved he was out of danger and improving. But she missed the closeness she had felt when he was unconscious. No longer able to hold his hand or lay with her hand on his heart she missed the touch of him. Tired from the worries, Charlotte sat and dozed.   
Sidney had been a little more lucid than he pretended since the morning. He had no idea how long he had been ill, nor what had happened. He kept his eyes closed and listened to Charlotte read aloud. Gradually tiredness took her and she drifted off to sleep in the chair next to him. He took up her hand in his. Tom looked in to see Sidney. He saw his brother awake and looking more well than he had for several days, holding the hand of the woman he so obviously loved. Tom withdrew quietly and went unnoticed.   
Charlotte fought against the tiredness, and felt her hand in his. Her eyes opened quickly to see him, eyes fully open looking at her. She gasped. Sidney managed a weak smile, and gripped her hand more tightly.   
“Charlotte.” His whispered voice was even deeper than usual.   
“Thank you.” It still hurt to speak. 

Sidney’s recovery was slow and steady. He spent more time awake between long naps. He was able to eat and occasionally sat in a chair by the window taking in the fresh sea air. Charlotte remained close.  
As Sidney’s health improved, there were more and more calls on his time and energy. Charlotte was careful not to overtire him, and kept her distance when he had visitors. She had stopped sleeping in the chair in his room and now slept in the guest room at the top of the house. She busied herself with trips to see Alison and Sarah.

One afternoon, after another long nap, Sidney felt well enough to broach the subject that had to be discussed. The house was empty. Tom and Mary were playing with the children. Mr Stringer was checking on the refurbishment of Denham Place.  
“Charlotte?” Oh where to begin? He struggled to form a coherent thought, so many emotions bubbled up inside him. Charlotte had held firm for so long, the time had never been right to ask the question that had gnawed away at her for so many days. Charlotte took her chance.   
“I spoke with Mr Crowe. He told me you are no longer engaged to Mrs Campion.” Charlotte held her breath unsure of the answer she would get.   
“Yes. That is correct.” Sidney scrutinised Charlotte’s face for any hint of emotion.   
“And you did not think to tell me?” Charlotte wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because he was free, cry because he didn’t think it concerned her.  
“Err, I forgot.” Sidney hung his head shamefully.  
“You FORGOT!” Charlotte jumped to her feet. Shocked. She mattered so little.  
“You did not think of me at all? You did not care what I thought or how I felt? After the Ball? After we parted on the cliffs? After Alison’s Wedding?” She’d been right, he had been trifling with her all along.  
Sidney spoke quietly, ashamed that he had once more hurt her.  
“I forgot because she does not matter. As soon as she released me, I thought only of you.”


	81. Charlotte Wonders

Charlotte sighed. She’d learned to keep her emotions in check and she wouldn’t show her hurt to him now. Charlotte calmly left the room, walked away from Sidney, not wishing to be near him. She walked determinedly down to the Coves. Why did he confound her so? Charlotte had felt so lost without him and now all she felt was anger. She sat on the rocks remembering the moment Sidney emerged from the sea. The memory still made her blush. Nursing him these past days, she had been so close to him. She’d changed his shirt, fed him, held his hand while he slept. But remembering that first magnificent sight of him was still breathtaking. Mary had said “one just knows”. Charlotte didn’t know. The months spent convincing herself he didn’t care, she was merely amusement, those thoughts crowded her now. She had no idea how he regarded her.  
Not for the first time Charlotte had little notion what to think or what to feel. She decided to visit Alison. 

Just two days after Charlotte’s travel to Sanditon, Alison and James had followed and taken up their residence in his town cottage. Sarah had managed to convince her sister that it was imperative she travel with them to Sanditon also. Alison would need help with her new home and could not deny her sister a chance to visit. Sarah was delighted with her new found freedom and was keen to sample everything about Sanditon she could. She was not to be seen.  
Alison was busy with furnishings and finery she had worked on for weeks. She was very pleased to see Charlotte.  
“How is Mr Parker? James says he is on the mend with your judicious nursing.”  
“Oh Alison, it had been so frightening. I could not tell if he breathed. He was so still and blue I thought him dead when I first saw him.” Alison saw the fear in Charlotte’s eyes and held her hand tenderly. Alison let her continue to unburden herself.  
“Slowly he seemed to breathe more deeply and I could feel his pulse. Then he took a fearsome fever and I thought he would burn away. We cooled him, like Mama always did and ensured he had water to drink. Now he coughs so badly he cannot speak and sleeps for hours from the tiring of it all. I am still fearful for him.” Charlotte spoke about tending to Sidney, careful not to mention the closeness to him she had enjoyed as he slept. Alison listened quietly understanding how much Charlotte really cared for him. After some time, Charlotte began to feel better as she could speak freely about Sidney without embarrassment or caution.  
“I am certain now, that you love him Charlotte. What will you do?” The depth of Charlotte’s feelings for Sidney Parker were very obvious to the newly married Alison, with a new mature outlook on matters of the heart.  
“He is free. His engagement is over. I cannot be certain he still cares for me. He forgot to tell me.”  
Alison looked shocked but recovered her features well.  
“If that is the case, and he kept it to himself, it must be for a reason. Do not judge Sidney too harshly. You know how sharp the agony of separation can be.” Alison desperately tried to think of a good enough reason to keep such news to one’s self. She couldn’t.  
Charlotte took great heart from what Alison said.  
“It might be the debt he owes the bank. It is very large. Lord Babbington spoke of an axe hanging over him, a prospect of jail, he said.” Charlotte started to relax. It had to be that. He didn’t consider himself a prospect her father would accept, with the threat of debtors prison hanging over him.  
“It must be that! Of course. What father would allow a daughter to marry into debt. It would ruin the family. Sidney would not do that to you.” Charlotte and Alison shared a long hug, both so relieved to have understood the circumstances of Sidney’s ‘oversight’. Both tried to hide their worry that the debt still kept Sidney and Charlotte apart.  
“And where is Sarah?” Charlotte enquired needing to change the subject.  
“Out walking. Again.” Alison rolled her eyes.  
“I cannot believe Mama and Papa allowed . . .”  
“She could not be stopped. They could not bear to see her distress at loosing us both.” Alison giggled. They both knew Sarah’s ways.  
“So how is James and how is married life?”  
“Oh Charlotte! I know exactly why we have so many brothers and sisters!” Alison hid her face, Charlotte tried to cover her laughter. Both girls continued to giggle until tears poured down their faces. 

Tom had been waiting to speak to Sidney, without the ever present Charlotte. Returning to Trafalgar House he found Sidney alone. He slipped into the chair next to the bed and waited for him to awaken. Tom had seen the announcement for the forthcoming wedding of Mrs Eliza Campion to the Earl of Chichester. It was printed in The Times. The announcement had worried him, but while Sidney had been dangerously ill it had seemed insignificant.  
Sidney stirred and Tom saw his eyes open.  
“Sidney, just a word. Would you like Eliza informed of your predicament?” Tom searched Sidney’s face for his reaction.  
Sidney groaned. Another person he’d forgotten to tell.  
“It’s over, Tom. She released me.” He still wasn’t able to speak at any length without coughing. This suited him quite well for now.  
“I’m sorry Sidney. That she could do this twice is unforgivable.” Tom looked sad. He had a good idea this wasn’t the tragedy of the first time, but surely Sidney would still be disappointed?  
“You know I didn’t love her, probably never did. Not like I do .... Charlotte.” Sidney grinned at Tom and clasped his hand. Finding his strength he continued.  
“She is everything Tom. I cannot speak of marriage with any authority but I know I would be blessed to have her as my wife. She is the woman I want to walk through life beside.” Sidney sank back into his pillows.  
“This, my brother, is the greatest news. The greatest news imaginable.” Tom felt joy for his brother, the fear in his stomach had to be repressed. Now that he was returning to health, Sidney’s happiness meant more than anything. More than money. More than Sanditon.  
“But I think it is too late. What feelings she had have changed. I hurt her. I don’t think she can forgive me.” A single tear ran down his cheek.  
“We will mend this.” Tom patted his arm and left him. He sat alone in the drawing room and pondered how things had come to pass. His guilt overwhelmed him. Sanditon was prosperous again, now that he didn’t hold the purse strings. His poor money management had made Sidney sell his soul to Eliza without a thought for his own happiness. While Tom himself had done nothing. Tom had lost Sidney his real love, Charlotte. He had to make things right.  
Tom waited patiently for Charlotte’s return and as the light fell, she came home.  
“Charlotte, could we speak please. I have news.” Tom pulled up a chair for her.  
Charlotte startled. Had something happened to Sidney? Terror gripped her. She felt cold and trembling. She’d only left him for an hour or two. Tom looked grave. She perched on the edge of the chair, her heart in her mouth, she shouldn’t have been out so long.  
“What is it? Is it Sidney? Is he alright?” She wanted to rush upstairs but her legs would not carry her. It took but a moment for her mind to clear. There was nothing like the fear of imminent tragedy to focus the thoughts. She knew in that moment she could not live without him. The thought of him being taken from her was too awful.  
Tom saw her panic and calmed her.  
“Sidney is well.” Her fears abated, she sobbed in sheer relief. Tom was utterly flabbergasted. What had brought this on? He hadn’t even started to try to explain about Eliza.  
“Charlotte. Charlotte! He is well! Please. There is no need.” Tom didn’t want to make matters worse.  
Charlotte gathered herself. She steadied her breathing. All the wondering if she loved him had gone. She knew her heart, and it was his. Tom continued.  
“I think you’d like to see this.” He passed The Times announcement. Seeing it written, the truth that Eliza was marrying someone else made her smile, broadly. She started to giggle. As did Tom. Mary entered the drawing room, and stopped quickly seeing Charlotte and Tom laughing quite boundlessly.  
“What is going on? Tom?” Mary found she was laughing too and had no idea why. Tom passed her the announcement.  
“Oh thank goodness! I was dreading inviting that woman to my house.” The mirth and relief continued until, realising Sidney was alone, Charlotte left the room unnoticed and ran up the stairs to him. She walked in coyly, standing several feet from the bed.  
Sidney was wide awake and relieved she had returned.  
“I thought you might have left for Willingden?”  
“On reflection I realised I’d rather be here. With you.”


	82. Sidney Recovers

Sidney looked at Charlotte, with fresh eyes. His vision had returned as his fever abated. She was flushed and windswept from her walk by the Coves, with slightly red eyes, from crying?  
He held out his hand to her. He needed her touch. She placed her hand in his palm and his fingers closed around it. He pulled her towards him and kissed the back of her hand. Her soft warm skin on his lips sent a fizzing pulse down his spine. He wondered how planting kisses over the whole of her body would feel. The expression on his face startled Charlotte, she couldn’t read it. He looked intense. He coughed, still painfully.   
“Are you feeling alright? Do you require water?” She jumped up, pulled him gently to seating, steadied him against her arm as she rearranged the pillows behind his head. She’d done it so many times before. This time, his closeness quite transported her. The heat from his body so close, her head almost resting against his, her arm around his chest, she was holding him and she never wanted to let go.   
The pain of rapidly expanding and contracting lungs took hold of Sidney. It was less frequent now but tiring still. He lent into her body, her arm curled around his chest, her hair tickling his neck. He placed his arm over hers, to keep her there, just a moment longer, before she lowered him onto freshly plumped pillows. Their eyes met. Charlotte did not want, could not, let him go. It took every ounce of her resolve to move from him, sliding her arm out from under his.   
There were so many words to be spoken, but they deserted them both now. Over the coming hours and days there would be time, but now, there was just feeling. Sidney for the first time in his life felt at peace. With Charlotte he was home. No matter where or when, being beside her was right.   
Charlotte felt overcome. His steady gaze and open smile made her giddy. She had no comparisons to the feelings he moved her too.   
Ahh, there had been that summer. The new boy who had come to Willingden to work on the farm on the other side of the valley. Charlotte had watched him scythe the hay fields. She watched him for days, hoping Papa would see what a fine strong man he was and pay him to work on their fields too. For a time she sat in a tree in the copse, just watching the movement if his arms swing the scythe back and forth. His long dark curls would fall over his forehead and he’d brush them away absentmindedly with his arm. Charlotte liked to imagine how it would feel to brush his curls from his eyes. She took to walking the little ones down to the stream to play. The stream bordered the two farms and afforded Charlotte a chance that he might notice her, even speak to her. At night she dreamt of an encounter with him. Walking in the sunset, or picking strawberries together. He attended the Harvest Dance, but stuck solidly in the corner with the other boys, drinking and loudly making merry, oblivious to Charlotte. Those flutterings of feeling seemed so childish now. So inadequate compared to what she felt for Sidney. 

Slowly each day Sidney felt a little better. He sat in a chair at the window. James visited him and they spoke of business and the developing building works. James updated his refurbishment of Denham Place, and they played chequers.  
Sidney’s visitors were regular and frequent. Crowe has virtually taken up residence in Sanditon. He was urging James to finish his home and club. Since discovering Sarah was visiting, London held no sway over him.   
Babbington checked on Sidney regularly. They played cards and discussed Sanditon business.   
Tom took time to spend with Sidney. They talked of family and the town. Tom attempted to atone for his misdeeds and gain Sidney’s forgiveness. Sidney was minded to forgive his brother anything.   
“Now that you are much improved dear brother I wonder if we can expect good news?” Tom could not contain his enthusiasm for a match with Charlotte any longer.   
“Tom, there is no hurry. I’d like to be my best self before I impress upon Charlotte my regard for her. I feel but half man, half agony.” Sidney was still weakened by the terrible illness that had almost taken him.   
“Nonsense. She will accept you, as sure as eggs are eggs. Perhaps a carriage ride along the sands will shake you both up a little?”  
Sidney was rather tired of his confinement indoors. The weather was good, no sign of rain, the sun was high and the wind was low. A carriage ride did indeed sound like a welcome distraction. Sidney agreed.  
Tom set off to ready the curricle and horses. On the way he called into the drawing room where Charlotte was having tea with Mary.  
“Charlotte, Sidney has need of some fine fresh air. It is time he ventured outside. I shall ready the carriage. Please would you accompany him? I’d prefer him not to go alone.” Mary and Tom exchange a glance of knowing.   
Charlotte was only too pleased but a little uncertain.   
“Is he strong enough? I wouldn’t wish to tire him. Perhaps just a short ride?”  
“As you wish. Just enjoy yourselves.” Tom seemed in a even more exuberant and enthusiastic mood than normal. He went to help Sidney down the stairs on his weakened legs.   
Sidney took his time moving around. He was quick to loose breath and that could trigger the coughing, which in turn crushed his sore ribs and made him double up in pain. So each movement was slow and steady. As he descended the stairs he found Charlotte waiting at the bottom for him.   
“Will I do?” Sidney stood as tall as his weakened frame allowed.   
“You will do very well.” Charlotte was so happy to see him dressed in his finery once more, his cravat beautifully tied, his coat buttoned and his boots shiny.   
Sidney offered his arm and they walked out to the carriage. Charlotte jumped up easily, Sidney required a hand from Tom, but settled into his seat well. He took up the reins and turned the curricle toward the sands. They moved off smoothly, the sun in their faces. As they reached the beach Sidney’s arms tired a little and noticing his discomfort Charlotte asked to drive.   
“May I please? I do enjoy driving the horses.” Sidney was only too pleased to let her take over. His shoulders ached from the upright position he found himself in. Charlotte pushed the horses on, to a steady quick canter. The wind in their hair and the quick smooth pace enlivening them both. After a while Sidney reached over to slow the horses to a stop.  
“What is it? Are you alright?” Charlotte searched his face for discomfort or pain.  
“Charlotte. I have been too selfish, too thoughtless, too rude..”  
Charlotte placed her hand on his arm.   
“No. You’ve not been too anything. ” Charlotte could not take her eyes from him.   
“I am certainly a different man now. I have changed and it is in no small part down to you. Ch...”  
“Charlotte!” It was Sarah. Taking a walk along the sands with Crowe.


	83. Sarah and Crowe

Sarah kicked herself. She should have gone to Sanditon with Charlotte. They had taken off at such a rush and looked so worried that Sarah had missed her opportunity. She must take the very next chance that came along.   
Sarah was bored with Willingden. Charlotte had her adventures in Sanditon and returned quite changed. She looked older and wiser. Sarah was sure something wonderful had happened in Sanditon to her sister. Charlotte would never say, but she was altogether changed. Certainly her secrecy of what had gone on made it all the more intriguing for Sarah.   
Alison’s wedding had been the most exciting thing to ever happen in Willingden. Such beautiful dresses and sophisticated company. The gentlemen dressed impeccably and dancing so well. Not like the boys from the village, disinterested in elegance and finery. Sarah cared not to dance with them. Their ham sized fists on her waist, and their boot shod feet treading on her toes. Sarah wanted to dance with a true gentleman. She would leave the boys from the village to Charlotte.   
It did not take her long to notice a tall elegant gentleman, dressed in beautiful red breeches, his curly hair falling over his forehead into his eyes. He wore beautiful court shoes with wonderful buckles and black stockings. He seemed to lounge gracefully and move so deliberately. Sarah was determined to dance with him.   
Sarah spent some time with Papa, dancing with him, singing when he played piano and making sure their guests were fed and had plenty of wine. Papa was interested in the middle Mr Parker as he seemed to be following Charlotte around the room, not taking his eyes from her. Charlotte did not seem to notice or was doing a good job of avoiding him by dancing with everyone else. Sarah thought her quite foolish not to see such a handsome fellow watching her so closely.   
Sarah noticed Mr Crowe conversing with Mama and took a chance to speak with him. Mama seemed to find his company most amusing.   
“Let me introduce you to Sarah, Mr. Crowe. Sarah has made all our elderflower and apple wine.” Mama graciously introduced them.  
Mr Crowe bowed and took Sarah’s hand. He danced like a dream. His hold on her waist was gentle and light, but he held her hand with purpose, their fingers intertwined. His eyes remained on her, leaving her in no doubt that she was dancing only with him. They danced together for many rounds. Sarah excused herself after some time and Mr Crowe asked if she required some rest.   
“Sir, there are many ladies here you may wish to dance with.”  
“But I don’t want to dance with them.” Mr Crowe was very charming indeed.  
“A little air will revive me. Please would you accompany me?” Sarah wanted some time alone with her gentleman, away from the interested eyes of all her brothers and sisters. They slipped outside, luckily unnoticed, and strolled together in the moonlight. Mr Crowe described his Knightsbridge house and his new home being built in Sanditon.   
As they came upon the river, they both saw Charlotte and Sidney, in an embrace that could only be considered scandalous. Mr Crowe snorted in delight.  
“At last.” He whispered to Sarah. “The old chap has been howling at the moon, for the loss of Charlotte.” Sarah giggled, unfortunately too loudly. 

Having been separated from the lovely Mr Crowe, Sarah was more than annoyed at Charlotte, who had a thunderous expression on her face. No doubt because she had been discovered in the arms of that quite handsome Mr Parker. Both girls glared at each other. It wasn’t the first time they had come to blows and it wouldn’t be the last. In truth Sarah was jealous of Charlotte. She was allowed more freedoms, and seemed to have a great deal more fun. No matter, Sarah’s time would come. In fact, she was certain it had come, in the form of Mr Crowe.   
“You cannot be alone with a man like him.” Charlotte hissed at Sarah.  
“But being swept up in the arms of Mr Parker is acceptable, is it?” Sarah enjoyed the mortified look on her sister’s face.   
“Don’t tell anyone.” Charlotte really was quite disturbed. Admitting to being alone with a gentleman was bad enough, but one that was engaged to another was quite something else.   
“You’re secret might be safe with me, if you allow me time with Mr Crowe.”  
“I cannot! Sarah! Papa would be very angry.” Charlotte knew she was loosing the argument. Sarah did not care what people thought.   
Unfortunately guests had started to depart and Sarah was called to say goodbye to those leaving. She stood in line, away from Charlotte, and thanked each guest for coming. She watched how everyone was so loving towards her sister and so gentle with her. Mr and Mrs Parker asked her to visit them in Sanditon. Lord and Lady Babbington asked that she visit them also. Georgiana hugged her tightly and Arthur Parker patted her hand gently. Lady Susan leant in to whisper to her and made her blush. Mr Sidney Parker seemed to stare at her for an age before bowing very solemnly. He looked very sad as he turned away from her, and his eyes seemed to sparkle oddly. To Sarah it seemed that all these friends of Charlotte’s shared a secret she knew nothing of, and she really wished she did.   
Sarah did not see Mr Crowe leave and was perplexed not to have spoken to him.  
However it was only the very next morning that Sarah saw Mr Crowe emerge from the barn, with Charlotte. He looked just as elegant and refined as the night before despite some wisps of hay in his curls.   
“You did not leave!” Sarah could not hide her joy at seeing him.   
“Madam, I remained to sample the morning in Willingden, and your sweet smile once more.”   
After a filling breakfast, Mr Crowe asked to borrow a horse to the nearby coach stop. Since the Babbington’s had seen fit to leave without him, he explained, although that wasn’t the complete truth, Crowe was a little stuck. Papa had the small gig prepared and even allowed Sarah to drive him. It was just a short distance but Sarah was determined to make the most of it. Once they had left the courtyard, Sarah slipped along the seat towards Mr Crowe, her leg coming to rest against his. She drove the horses on at a reasonable canter but took the longer way around the village to the stop.   
They arrived a little early. Crowe took Sarah’s hand and kissed it lightly, holding her fingers.   
“I should very much like to visit again Miss Sarah. Or on the occasion that you might be in Sanditon it would be my pleasure to show you the delights of the town.”  
“I expect to be visiting Sanditon very soon Mr Crowe. I am certain of it.” Sarah was extremely pleased. Now she just had to find a way of being in Sanditon. She was sure she could find a reason. 

The opportunity to visit Sanditon came but days later, as Alison and James readied to leave Willingden. Sarah sought out Alison and pleaded with her. Alison was in no mind to share her new home and her new husband with Sarah. Used to her scheming ways, Alison told her Papa would never allow it and sent her on her way.   
Sarah found James preparing the carriage. She asked for just a moment and impressed upon him how Alison would miss all her dear siblings moving away to a new town.   
“Charlotte is in Sanditon.” James tried to comfort poor distressed Sarah.   
“In truth James, Alison is not Charlotte’s favourite sister. And I believe she may be busy nursing poor Mr Parker. Her time will be better spent with him. But I would happily offer you my company while Alison settles in her new home.” Sarah found James much easier to influence than her brothers. He would be a powerful ally.  
James thought it a wonderful idea for his new wife to have the loving support of her favourite sister at her side. He would after all be busy with work and did not want Alison to be lonely. Sarah quickly packed, Mama and Papa unable to stop her.


	84. The Night

Sidney’s jaw clenched and he let out a long sigh.  
“Miss Sarah, Crowe, well met.”  
“Good to see you out old man. On the mend I hope?”  
“Well I was.” Sidney glared at Crowe, with a look of frustration that made Crowe laugh out loud.   
Charlotte looked from Crowe to Sarah and back, quite peeved.   
“As it is getting a little late, I believe we shall return to Trafalgar House now. Sarah, please return to Alison before sunset.” Charlotte turned the horses and drove back to the house. There was silence between them, until Sidney started to laugh.   
“Blasted Crowe!” Sidney could not hold himself back any longer. Charlotte laughed too.  
“Perhaps we could have a substantial conversation tomorrow?”  
“Yes, perhaps we can.” Sidney relaxed a little. The sea air had done its magic. The pain in his lungs had eased.

The following day Sidney suggested a carriage ride to view Denham Place. He was keen to see how the refurbishments and repairs had been getting along. As they pulled up, the view of the house was breathtaking. The trees had been removed and the pond cleared. At Alison’s suggestion James had planted some water lilies taken from the pond in Willingden and these were blooming a beautiful pink. Inside the house was light filled and airy. Sidney and Charlotte ascended the spiral stairs together and walked into the large drawing room, now with a repaired and restored Adams ceiling. Sidney looked about himself pleased at all the works. He readied himself once more to speak to Charlotte. As he gathered his courage and was about to speak, James entered the room.  
“Glad you are here Mr Parker. What do you think of the ceiling? The new roof is complete.”  
“Ahh, yes, very good, well done. Thank you.” Trying to find more than five minutes when he could be alone with Charlotte was becoming increasingly impossible and increasingly frustrating.   
“I hope you like the water lilies, Charlotte? Alison said they were your favourite.” James suddenly blushed realising he had given away a little too much. Sidney glanced sideways at James, sensing a conspiracy. There was a tense silence.   
“Perhaps I can travel back to town with you? As it is getting late.” James compounded his error saying the first thing that came into his head. He almost audibly groaned at his faux pas.   
“If you do not mind of course?”  
“Yes of course, do join us. It would be a pleasure. We should be getting back.” Charlotte needed to break the awkwardness. Sidney rolled his eyes.   
Once back in town, Sidney excused himself and walked down to the Coves. He needed some time alone. Charlotte could see he needed to stretch and had need of some solitude. She continued to Trafalgar House.   
Since feeling better Sidney had found he was never alone. Charlotte left him during the day, but ate meals with him and discussed Sanditon. Tom, Mary and the children were always present except when Crowe or Babbington came. He needed some time to order his thoughts. He didn’t doubt Charlotte cared for him. He had seen that in her concern in her eyes. Was it concern for a man she loved or a man she merely cared for? He had to find out.  
As he walked along the sand, contemplating how cold the sea looked, he happened upon Miss Sarah. Sitting on a rock, her skirts slightly hitched, her ankles buried in the sand, looking unconcerned and free.  
“Ahh, Miss Sarah.” Another of the Heywood females Sidney felt somewhat disquieted by.   
“Mr Parker. How fortuitous. I had quite tired of my own company. Sit with me a while.”   
Sidney did not feel comfortable sitting close to a young girl with bare feet, despite them being hidden in the sand. He remained standing some feet away, looking purposely out to sea. Sarah continued nonetheless.  
“Prey tell me, what are you doing with Charlotte?” Sidney turned, startled by the question.   
“I, I errr..”  
“You seem to have quite ruined her happiness. Perhaps you could tell me why?” The sharpness in Sarah’s words belied a gentle teasing.  
“I, I am not aware..”  
“Oh come now Mr Parker! My sister is spirited, full of life, so popular with the gentlemen in Willingden. In fact it is quite surprising to us all she has not accepted any number of suitors.”  
Sidney felt a stab of jealously in his stomach. She was right of course. Charlotte could be swept away from him at any moment.   
“I believe Mr Parker, you may have enchanted her. I hope you have done that with good reason and not to trifle with her affections?”  
“Trifle? I assure you that is not the case. If I have done anything it was not deliberate on my part.” Sidney shifted uncomfortably under the scrutinising eyes of Miss Sarah.  
“Not deliberate!” Sarah laughed. “I saw your embrace Mr Parker, under starlight. What Lady could resist such romance?” Sidney blushed. How could such a young girl know so much. Sarah saw her words had humbled him.   
“Well now. As we have that all sorted, Mr Parker, let us be the very best of friends, and much more I hope.” She shook the sand from her feet, and replaced her stockings and shoes. Sidney turned his back.   
“Perhaps you would walk me back into town? You can tell me all you know of Mr Crowe!”  
Sidney and Sarah walked back along the sand in a spirit of joyful friendship. Sidney telling stories of Crowe’s misdemeanours at school. 

Since Sidney’s grave illness, sleep had troubled Charlotte. She woke frequently quite shaken with fear for his life. She had taken to checking on him in the dead of night when she awoke. She stole down the stairs quietly, stood at the doorway to his room listening to his breathing, still counting the breaths. Once she was certain he was deeply asleep she would approach the bed and gently kiss his forehead. She told herself it was to ensure he was not cold, or taken with another fever.   
This night by the light of a single candle she did the same. His forehead felt cool to the touch of her lips, but not cold, perfect in fact. As she carefully withdrew from him, Sidney took hold of her hand and opened his eyes.   
“Oh!” Startled but trying to appear calm, Charlotte straightened herself. “I’m s, sorry. I thought I heard something.” She whispered quietly.   
Sidney pulled her hand to him and placed it over his heart.   
“Charlotte. At last. I have something to ask. Something I should have asked many months ago. I don’t know what I was waiting for.  
I am myself because of you. You brought me back to life. Marry me Charlotte?”  
By the light of the candle Charlotte could see the earnestness in Sidney’s face. She could not move or speak, she could only gasp. Sidney felt compelled to continue.   
“Should the debt be of worry, I can assure you Sanditon is safe. The debt is guaranteed. By Mrs Campion. She requires nothing further from me and is marrying shortly. We parted on good terms. I never loved her Charlotte, as I do you.”  
Charlotte placed her hands around Sidney’s face. The mention of Mrs Campion had stabbed a little into her soul.  
“Please stop talking, lest I change my mind.” Charlotte held his face and moved closer.  
“You, you accept me?” Sidney could barely whisper those words.   
“Sidney, I do.” Sidney gasped in sheer exhausted relief. He hadn’t dared to breathe for an eternity while he waited for her answer. This was the first time he heard her speak his name.


	85. The Morning

Breakfast the next morning was an awkward affair. Sidney sat at the table with Tom, Mary and the children. Charlotte rose a little later in the hope she could breakfast with Sidney alone. Tom and Mary seemed in no hurry to commence their day and sat amicably discussing weather, Sanditon, and the building works. Charlotte slipped into her seat opposite Sidney and Mary enquired if she had slept well.  
“Quite well. Thank you.” Charlotte could feel colour rising in her cheeks. She looked towards Sidney who had a quite uncharacteristic amused smirk on his face.   
“Now we are all here, I have an announcement to make.” Sidney grinned at Charlotte.  
“Miss Heywood and I are to be married.”  
“Charlotte! Oh Sidney, how marvellous.” Mary was utterly delighted. Tom jumped up to shake Sidney by the hand.  
“Well done Sidney! How long have we waited for such good news.”  
“When did all this happen?” Mary wondered. Charlotte looked away, Sidney glanced at her and waved his hand dismissively.   
“We came to an understanding quite recently and we are telling you first. I shall visit Mr Heywood shortly.” Sidney was almost feeling back to his healthful self and a trip to Willingden was required to gain Mr Heywood’s permission and blessing.   
“Please do not travel alone Sidney.” Charlotte was still getting used to the feeling his name spoken out loud afforded her. A feeling of great intimacy and closeness. She felt she wished to just whisper it.  
“You will travel in the carriage Sidney?” Mary was sensitive to another weather induced disaster. Sidney had no mind to do otherwise. Since his ill health he had taken a more than interested view of the weather.   
Breakfast over, Charlotte excused herself. She was keen to share her news with her sisters. Sidney wrote to Babbington, then went in search of Crowe.   
Alison and Sarah were so pleased for their dear sister. The news had not come as a surprise, just the length of time it had taken had been a trial for everyone. There was some mystery surrounding the proposal but the sisters just believed Charlotte preferred to keep some matters private. Full of excitement the sisters decided a walk in the fresh sea air would be an outlet for their spirits.  
Sidney had found Crowe at his new home. Work was almost finished with just internal decoration taking place. Elegant and comfortable furniture was soon arriving from London.   
“I have news Crowe.” Sidney could not help himself, he grinned like a fool.   
“Charlotte has accepted my proposal of marriage.”  
“Finally! I can just imagine how that feels. I believe I am uncommonly smitten also.”  
“Do I assume Miss Sarah has brought you to heel Crowe?”  
“Surprising as it may seem, she has tamed me. She is clever and she understands the chase. I am lost and rather enjoying it. I intend to ask for her hand soon. Perhaps we can travel together to Willingden?” Sidney considered this a welcome idea. Mr Heywood could not help but look favourably on him when compared to Crowe.   
“Let us go and find the ladies, before I’ve sobered enough to change my mind.” Crowe was still getting used to the new idea of wishing to be married.   
Sidney and Crowe walked towards the sea, and spotted the ladies paddling, playing much as children do and generally just enjoying the sun. They behaved more decorously when they saw the gentlemen approaching, Sarah the most concerned to look ladylike and charming.   
Alison excused herself, wanting to get back to her home and the arrival of James after a day’s work.   
Sarah wanted time alone with Crowe.   
“I congratulate you, Mr Parker on a job well done. My sister at last looks happy again. Please ensure it remains that way.” Charlotte felt she had missed a conversation somewhere, but Sarah and Sidney seemed to be getting on well, so Charlotte decided it was of no matter.   
“Now Crowe and I have an appointment of some urgency, so we bid you Good Day.” With that Sarah lead Crowe away from the beach and they headed toward to cliffs.  
“What has happened to Mr Crowe?” Charlotte looked at first bemused and then with a laugh when she saw Sidney smiling.  
“I believe Madam, it is known in my circle as the Heywood affliction. It begins with befuddlement, then friendship, followed by some pepperiness and finally a love of such magnitude it cannot be resisted.” Since the news of their engagement would soon be known across the whole of Sanditon, it did not trouble Sidney at all to take hold of Charlotte’s hand as they strolled across the sands.   
“I believe Crowe will be making Sarah a proposal of marriage very soon.” In fact from where Sidney and Charlotte stood, looking up towards the cliffs, they could see the two figures, Sarah standing, and Crowe knelt at her feet. They watched as he stood up and kissed her hands. Sidney and Charlotte squeezed their hands together in joy for them.   
“They will make a good match. My sister is quite a whirlwind.”   
“She has quite tamed him. I don’t think he ever expected it.”


	86. Asking Permission

The following morning Tom’s carriage was prepared for the journey to Willingden. Charlotte and Sarah, Crowe and Sidney set off.  
The gentlemen had suggested travelling alone, but Charlotte knew her father would want answers from Sarah and herself before allowing any union.   
They alighted in the courtyard, to the usual excited throng. Mama and Papa hung back slightly to view the goings on.   
Sarah could not stop herself and ran to Mama to give her the good news.   
“Mama, I have a suitor! Is he not fine? And Charlotte is betrothed also. Are you excited?” Mama tried to calm her, but as the little ones heard the news the noise level increased to bedlam. It took some time for the excitement to die down.  
Papa invited the gentlemen into his study for serious discussions. They sat down and he offered Sidney and Crowe wine.  
“Mr Crowe you’ll soon find yourself familiar with Sarah’s fermentations no doubt. Her strawberry wine is a particular favourite of mine. I hope you will not deprive me?” He looked stern but his eyes twinkled.   
“I believe you both wish to convince me of your eligibility to relieve me of the company of my dear daughters.” There was a gentle laugh in his voice.   
Before the gentlemen could speak, Charlotte quickly knocked on the door.  
“Papa, might I take the shot gun? Mama would like a rabbit for the stew.” Sidney looked at Charlotte as if he had been shot himself. Charlotte was continuing to astonish him in ways he could never have guessed.   
“You’ll be watching your mouth in future then old man?” Crowe was very amused at the sight of Charlotte with the twelve bore over her shoulder.   
After a few glasses of wine and two quite nervous gentlemen pleading their case for the hand of Mr Heywood’s daughters, Mama thought it best to intervene.  
“I believe the young gentlemen have been put through their paces now Edmund. They must be hungry. Let us have dinner. You may grill them further after they have been fed.”  
Sidney and Crowe entered the large kitchen, as Charlotte came in. She carried the shotgun over one arm and in the other held a brace of pheasants and two rabbits.  
“I though the pheasants might do for Luncheon tomorrow Mama, as there are more of us?” She looked across at Sidney who gave a slight nod that all was well.   
Charlotte sat close to Sidney at the table. His knee came to rest against hers. The shiver of excitement this gave her, almost made Charlotte forget herself. She dropped her spoon noisily into her stew. She hoped none of the little ones would slip under the table to play, after eating, as they want to do.  
Crowe and Sarah sat together and seemed to spend the whole meal laughing, until Mama reminded them to finish up their plates.   
When everyone had finished, Papa suggested the gentlemen retire to the study. Sarah passed him a bottle of raspberry schnapps. She gave her father a knowing smile.   
The ladies repaired to the music room. Charlotte was concerned. The nod from Sidney had given her confidence but she worried that Papa would not look kindly on the debt the family were under. Sarah had no such concerns. She could see no reason that Papa would resist the charms of Mr Crowe.   
Mr Heywood, after a filling meal during which he studied his daughters and their intended suitors, was in a very affable mood. He poured sizeable glasses of Sarah’s liqueur for them all, and suggested these were drunk swiftly in order to aid digestion. Crowe imbibed enthusiastically, knocking back his glass in one shot. The liqueur fired his throat and warmed his belly. Crowe grunted in pleasure at its smouldering passage. Sidney sipped tentatively, unsure what it might do to his still sore throat. Sarah’s raspberry schnapps scorched down Sidney’s gullet removing all trace of his soreness, leaving only a pleasing numbness and a glow in his belly. He coughed and then finished his glass.   
Mr Heywood scrutinised the two gentlemen. Intelligent obviously, well to do, firm in frame, if both a little weakened from lack of real toil. A summer and harvest on the farm would sort them both out. He refilled their glasses.   
Sometimes a man’s true nature can only be found at the bottom of a bottle. And unspoken truths are more easily wrested from loosened tongues. Mr Heywood continued his interrogation.   
“Since we are, most likely, to be family and I look upon you as my new sons, you will do me the honour of allowing me to address you without formality.” Sidney enjoyed the idea of having a father again. Even one that gave him a sense of the jitters. They toasted their glasses in easing camaraderie. Crowe too, whose parents had been only a light influence on his life enjoyed the idea of Mr Heywood as his new mentor.   
“It is important that you learn and remember the names of your new siblings. No doubt they will test you and raising their displeasure by misnaming them will not be beneficial. They may also attempt to confound and confuse, so be warned. They are not beyond tricks.” Sidney and Crowe shared a momentary look of fear, six new brothers likely to tease and make fools of them.   
As the drink flowed, Sidney and Crowe relaxed and became their best selves. They told stories of their younger years and their enduring friendship. Sidney expressed some regret at a wasted few years lamenting a lost love that paled to nothing compared to his feelings for Charlotte. But of course his thriving business and new coffee plantation were the happy result of this early affliction. He clarified his earnings and projected his income for the future years. His substantial wealth was pleasing but Mr Heywood was more interested in the gentleness of his character.   
Sidney had the difficult job of explaining the Parker Developments debt, which he did with clarity and honesty leaving nothing out. Not even the recent entanglement involving the short and much regretted engagement. Mr Heywood sensed an opportunity for some goading.  
“So Mr Parker, your acquaintance, Mrs Campion, who holds the key to your family debt, provided her guarantee for no other reason than her wish to make good the pain she afforded you in your youth?”  
“It may appear over generous, but Mrs Campion is the wealthiest widow in all England and shortly to be married to one of the wealthiest men in the Earl of Chichester. The Parker debt is but drinking coin to her.” Satisfied by the explanation Mr Heywood turned his attention from Sidney.   
Crowe described how his club afforded gentlemen the opportunity to be themselves without disturbing the sensitive feelings of the gentler sex. His club in London and the soon to be opened Phoenix Club in Sanditon had the highest reputation for gentlemanly conduct, fine wine and good food. A place where business was discussed and alliances made. Mr Heywood had wondered whether Crowe ran an altogether different sort of establishment but was placated in that thought. Crowe extended an invitation to Mr Heywood, who had come to consider his five mile rule a cumbersome irrelevance. Since his daughters successfully ventured out into the world and find prizes of great worth, he too could come to see the world as bounteous and benevolent.   
As the drinking continued and the merriment heightened Mr Heywood was assured that neither gentleman suffered from a malicious temperament. His fear of handing over a precious daughter to someone that might, when under duress, rely on their fists to win a discussion was quashed. He slipped out of the study leaving two very drunk, very happy and very sleepy men.


	87. Wedding Plans

Charlotte slept in her room. It was not empty. Since Alison had left, her place had been taken by Marianne, who at 16 was pleased to have a little quiet, to read and sleep. Charlotte’s bed had been seized by Sarah while she’d been away, but tonight Charlotte chased her back to her own bed with a threat of telling Mama.   
Charlotte didn’t actually sleep. She lay awake wondering what Papa would think. A man so recently engaged to another, with a substantial debt hanging over him. What would she do if he said no? The bold thought came to Charlotte that no one would stop her, they would away to Scotland and marry without the consent of her parents. But this made her sad. All she wanted was Papa’s approval. The night was long. She’d heard her father come up to bed, the creaking wooden steps giving way to his heavy frame. She half considered stealing downstairs to see Sidney. She wondered where he might be sleeping, but remembered Crowe would be close and she was only wearing a night shirt. She waited for the morning.   
The little ones always woke first and would run downstairs to play as the older Heywood’s slept on. As light broke Sidney and Crowe found themselves set upon by several small and noisy bodies enquiring why they were sleeping on the floor. Trying desperately to keep a smiling and joyful countenance despite a thumping head and more than disturbed digestion, Sidney and Crowe thought it best to rise and removed to the kitchen.   
“Domestic bliss.” Muttered Crowe grumpily, under his breath.  
Charlotte rose early, after a night of little sleep. She was pleased to find Sidney and Crowe by the kitchen fire. It amused her that they looked as if the night had involved hard labour or at least a five mile hike.   
Charlotte poured them both large glasses of water and prepared the breakfast. Sarah entered the kitchen with the morning’s clutch of eggs. She was eager for news.  
“Gentlemen! You have good news for us I hope?”  
Charlotte shot her a look of derision. How could she be so free with her thoughts.   
“I think we should wait for Papa, before we ask questions Sarah.” Charlotte felt increasingly nervous but she did not have to wait long for her parents to join them.   
“Ah my dear, I shall miss the smell of your breakfast waking me.” Papa seemed in a very good mood. Was this a hint?   
As everyone gathered, Mr Heywood could not hold back any longer. Charlotte looked like she might cry and Sarah looked fit to explode. The gentlemen’s expressions were more comical as they struggled with the noise, cooking smells, delicate heads and churning stomachs, while trying to appear awake and polite. Mr Heywood took to his feet, this only to quell the general din. Silence fell.  
“This morning I should very much like to welcome two new members to the Heywood clan, Mr Sidney and Mr Crowe, who rather than taking my daughters from me, will become a much appreciated addition to our family.”  
The rejoicing was loud and merry. All the little Heywood’s jumped and sang. The older boys thought it acceptable to give a firm and friendly slap on the back to their new brothers. Sidney felt his head might detach, but welcomed each salutation affably.  
“If he thinks I’m toiling for him at harvest, he is very much mistaken.” Crowe quietly muttered to Sidney. 

A further, less tense conversation was had with Mama and Papa Heywood as Sidney outlined his thoughts on a Sanditon wedding.  
“I have a new home, Mr Heywood, that will accommodate a pleasingly large wedding party. Crowe and I would be much inclined, if the ladies were to agree, to share the celebrations and wed on the same day.” Sidney and Crowe had discussed this option as being quite sensible. They had not disclosed as much to either Charlotte or Sarah. Fortunately they were both of a mind that this would do very well.  
The date was set for a month, being the minimum needed for arrangements to be finalised. Neither couple were of a mind to wait any longer than necessary. 

So it was, after a luncheon of roasted pheasant, that Sidney and Crowe made to leave Willingden. Before the final farewells Mama and Papa suggested the couples take a walk.   
Charlotte and Sidney took the path across the fields along the stream towards the copse.   
“The last time we said goodbye I expected never to see you again.” Sidney looked very serious with a tone of melancholy. Charlotte wanted to cheer him.  
“It will pass quickly. Before we know it, the time will be over.” Charlotte’s happiness warmed his heart.   
“And we can write. We haven’t sent letters. I should really like that.”  
Sidney considered how little courtship they had enjoyed. So few long walks, secret conversations and no letters whatsoever.   
“You have the arrangements to make and I have so many people to tell. I’m sure there will be little time for missing.” Charlotte continued buoying his spirits.  
“Every day apart will be a sharp agony made all the sweeter when it is over. And after, I shall never again leave your side.” Sidney was still serious and sorrowful.   
“In the meantime you must galavant about town with your high society dandy friends.” Charlotte teased him and Sidney raised a smile.  
Crowe and Sarah had departed on their walk in a joyful manner. Sarah had much to plan and excitement spilled from her. Crowe watched her exuberance with pleasure.   
“I shall ensure our home is finished. James will see to it. I will write to him. He will not deny me.” Sarah chattered swiftly.  
“I’ve a mind no one dares deny you, my sweet.” Crowe was certainly unable to.   
Sarah took Crowe to the pantry and down the steps to the large cellar.   
“This, my love, is mine.” Sarah held a candle aloft and the walls glittered with row upon row of glass bottles containing all manner of alcoholic gems. Sarah carefully selected a honey and ginger brandy, a damson sherry and several bottles of carrot beer which they took to the carriage.   
As Charlotte busied herself in the kitchen, taking bread and pheasant meat to provide sandwiches for the gentlemen’s journey back to Sanditon, Sidney sought out Mr Heywood. He asked for a sheet of paper and took to writing Charlotte a note. He folded it carefully and walked out into the bright sunshine. He found two little Heywood’s feeding the chickens.   
“Ah, yes, and you might be?”  
“Lizzie, Sir” Huge brown eyes smiled at him.   
“No! I’m Lizzie Sir, that is Anne”. Different but similar huge brown eyes. The girls giggled.   
Sidney considered.  
“Well Lizzie-Anne if I might ask a very great favour.” The girls giggled at their combined naming and looked most eager to please their new, soon to be, brother.   
“Could you place this letter under Charlotte’s pillow for me? And not a word to anyone mind.”   
The girls sped off, thrilled to have a mission and to be trusted with a secret.

With the carriage readied it was time for the difficult parting. Sidney and Crowe bade each member of the Heywood family a solemn farewell. Mama and Papa marshalled the children back inside leaving Charlotte and Sarah to say goodbye away from prying eyes.   
Sidney stood with Charlotte, his head bowed close to hers, almost touching.  
“Just four weeks, my love.” Sidney could hardly make himself leave.   
Crowe and Sarah shared a smile of knowing, and excitement at the next time they would meet.  
“Sooner we leave old man, the sooner the day will come.” Crowe gave Sidney a little shove towards the carriage. He reluctantly climbed in.


	88. Four Long Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** A four poster bed at this time, was going out of fashion. However they are undeniably romantic so Sidney just had to have one.

Charlotte went to bed that night exhausted but happy. Joy flooded every cell of her being. As she laid her head down on her pillow she heard a crackle. Feeling underneath it, she found the note Sidney had written for her. His very first letter. She had not seen his script before and she felt thrilled to see the curling elegant penmanship. She unfolded it carefully.

My Dearest Charlotte,   
I take my leave from your side today and await our union eagerly. Please know you are my life. I have never wanted to care for anyone as I do you. Sleep well my dearest. Until very soon.  
Eternal love,  
Sidney

Charlotte shivered with excitement at his words, and she did indeed sleep very well. 

The morning brought a flurry of excitement and action. Letters were quickly penned, to Alison, Georgiana, and Lady Susan, with details and invitations. Charlotte asked to borrow Alison’s lace veil. Sarah wrote to Alison in the hope of borrowing her wedding dress. Charlotte replied to Sidney.

My Darling Sidney,   
I shall count the minutes, hours and days until I am by your side. The little ones seem to miss you almost as I do. Please take care of your chest and dress warmly.   
Always, your Charlotte.

In Sanditon, Sidney sought out Fred Robinson.  
Sidney had a plan for his wedding gift. Fred and his master carpenters would fashion it from the oak trees taken from Denham Place.   
Sidney described the substantial four poster bed he required. A large and solid frame with a high canopy, similar, but not as large or ornate as, the Great Bed of Ware. Fred made drawings as Sidney spoke and together they agreed on the design and building of the bed. For its size, it would be constructed in pieces then put together in the marital chamber. The cotton stuffed mattress would be thick and sumptuous.  
Fred and his men had but one month to complete it.  
Sidney turned to James, to ask that Alison complete the canopy and curtains for his bed. James felt certain Alison would be most happy to oblige. Heavy cotton velvet in a deep gold was ordered from London.  
Sidney, still not his best self, retired early to Trafalgar House. Wearied from the travel and business of the day, Sidney returned to his chamber for rest. He fell into a peaceful and restorative sleep.

So the days continued, with distractions and muted enjoyment of the final days before the wedding. Charlotte enjoyed a short trip to London at the request for Lady Susan.   
“Did I not say you would win the race? I am never wrong, when it comes to love.” Susan could not contain her pleasure.   
Charlotte was surprised by a modiste fitting for a beautiful wedding gown. A special present from Susan. Charlotte deliberated and with Susan’s help chose an elegant ivory tambour lace dress with many sheer layers and a waist band of tiny freshwater pearls. The embroidering of the lace alone would take four seamstresses a whole week.   
There was also a suggestion of a ball, but without Sidney, Charlotte had no taste for it, and did not accompany Susan.

Finally all arrangements had been made. With but one day to go, the Heywood family readied for their trip to Sanditon. Tom had reserved one of the larger, just completed townhouses for their stay. He also sent his carriage and another from the town.  
Mama and Papa travelled with the littlest Heywood’s. Having never gone on such a long excursion together, they felt extremely excited to be in each other’s company and free from the daily responsibilities of the farm. The older boys travelled together in the gig, thrilled at their new adventure. Altogether the party of Heywood’s transposing themselves from Willingden was the most raucous affair they had ever experienced.   
Charlotte and Sarah travelled together in the coach, both dealing with their nerves quite differently. Sarah chattered incessantly. Charlotte tried not to listen.  
“Tomorrow at this time, we will be wed Charlotte! Imagine. Mrs Sarah Crowe. It has a nice ring to it. And I shall call you Mrs Parker. I cannot wait to dance with my husband.”  
Charlotte looked out of the window. She could not quite believe it was all coming true. It had been a long month without Sidney. His letters came frequently and spoke of business and the house. His love shone through the pages of his script and she never doubted him. But she wanted to be at his side, the distance from him had been taxing.   
“Do you look forward to the wedding night Charlotte? Alison would not be drawn, though I believe she keeps the secret of the joyful event rather badly. She blushed to her finger tips when I asked her.” Sarah giggled with delight.  
Charlotte thought of her night beside Sidney. His froze body unmoving. Had she not been fearful for his life she might have enjoyed their closeness. Now her whole body effervesced at the thought of his skin.   
The Heywood’s settled into their townhouse with a few arguments over bedroom allocations. Mary called to invite them all to tea. She hoped to persuade Charlotte to stay at Trafalgar House for her final night before the wedding. Charlotte was all to happy to agree. The level of excitement in the townhouse was overwhelming for Charlotte. Mary helped her move her things to Trafalgar House.

Sidney was at Denham Place in the company of Lord Babbington and Mr Crowe, who was particularly keen for a final evening of carousing before his wedding and behaviour fitting a married man. He had carefully kept the gift of wines from Sarah exactly for this occasion.   
Since the proposal Sidney had continued on his path to better health and with it, his best self. His confidence high, his face wreathed with smiles. He felt ten years younger, and rather acted it. He suggested a race across the sands to Babbers and Crowe. They saddled up their horses and took themselves down to the beach, discussing their wager for the winner. Fortunately the sands were deserted and the gentlemen took off at breakneck speed. Sidney had ensured he took his fastest horse, and being the better horseman, he won easily. Crowe had been distracted and rather than come last, gave up the race as a futile pursuit. Babbington eventually caught up with Sidney.


	89. Finally

The dawn broke. A beautiful clear morning of bright sunshine.   
Charlotte rose, having been far too excited to sleep. Mary and her maid busily fussed about her. Breakfast was served in her chambers, but Charlotte had no appetite, her stomach was filled with butterflies. Alison and Georgiana joined the ladies and preparations were made.   
Alison brought her veil. A length of exquisite lace she had carefully created for her own wedding. Georgiana brought her tiara. A delicate gold crown decorated with pearls and diamonds. It sparkled beautifully in the sun. Charlotte’s hair was dressed, pinned up perfectly into swathes of loose curls which the tiara was set into. She was fitted into her dress of the sheerest tambour lace with long elegant sleeves. The high waist band of embroidered pearls shone. Marianne arrived with a bouquet of bluebells for Charlotte to carry.   
Sarah had Mama attending her. Alison’s dress fitted well, her hair was curled and fell in gentle ringlets about her face from a high chignon. Finally the ladies were ready. They met in the Square and walked the short distance to the church. Thankfully it was a windless calm day.   
Inside the church Sidney paced while Crowe lounged.   
“Sit down old man. She won’t get here any quicker.” It amused Crowe how nervous Sidney appeared. Crowe himself had silenced his nerves with a good amount of Sarah’s brandy, enough to feel calm but not too much to trouble him.   
Reverend Hankins had spoken to the gentlemen, to remind them of the importance of their vows and their duty to provide happiness for their wives. He grew a little embarrassed when Crowe suggested he knew precisely how to keep his wife happy, with a smirk Reverend Hankins found hard to fathom.  
The church was filled. Tom and Mary, Mrs Heywood, and the children took their places on the front pew.   
Mr Heywood stood outside with Charlotte and Sarah.   
“Now my wondrous daughters, if either of you has a doubt, or a change of heart, it is not yet too late. I have a horse on stand by.” Mr Heywood made light of the seriousness of the situation. There was no horse. But he ensured both his precious daughters were set and secure in mind. He took one on each arm, and walked slowly up the aisle. Charlotte shook, with anticipation and excitement. Sarah grinned and almost danced on her toes. As they entered the church, silence fell and a general gasp was heard as everyone drew breath.   
Sidney and Crowe looked on in awe, their mouths hanging open for a fraction too long, until Babbington cleared his throat and they remembered themselves.   
Mr Heywood safely delivered his daughters to their suitors and took his place next to Mama, his eyes shining with pride and perhaps a tear.   
Sidney had earlier, politely, briefed Reverend Hankins on a succinct and to the point sermon without waffle, and with that foremost in his mind, the Reverend got on with the process, taking no longer than was necessary. As the ceremony concluded, the guests found they spontaneously cheered. Sidney placed a quite delicate and chaste kiss slowly on Charlotte’s lips. This was not the time nor the place for anything more. Sarah and Crowe kissed more enthusiastically while trying to suppress their unbridled laughter.   
The nerves left them all, and only exuberance remained. It was but a short walk along the river, past the waterfall, to Denham Place. Charlotte and Sidney led the guests.   
On the lawn was a beautiful spread, and music wafted over the trees, as the band played.   
The dancing began as Sidney offered his arm to Charlotte whispering to her.   
“Mrs Parker, will you do me the greatest honour?” Charlotte was thrilled to be called by her new title.  
“I cannot quite believe it. I am yours.”   
“As I am yours.” Sidney held her tightly and they began a slow dance in hold. As their arms entwined and the eyes locked, they danced as if they were alone, as nothing else mattered. They moved as one unaware of anything but each other.   
More dancers joined them and the music tempo rose.   
The day turned to night and the revelry continued. The wine flowed and more food was brought. Sidney whispered to Charlotte.  
“Let us leave. I should like you to myself. Come on.” They carefully withdrew and entered the house.   
“I have a gift for you Mrs Parker.”  
“You are gift enough Mr Parker.” Charlotte smiled as Sidney led her to their bed chamber. Before her was an enormous four poster bed with high canopy, beautiful swagged curtains, opulent bed clothes of silk and blankets of finest soft wool. It was the most beautiful bed Charlotte has ever seen.   
Charlotte pulled Sidney towards her. The memory of her last kiss in Willingden on her mind. She felt an even greater intensity now. Gripping his waistcoat she pulled him downwards and herself up, to reach his face. She kissed him fiercely, not understanding her passion but allowing her senses to take over. His arm in the small of her back steadied her, their bodies meshed into each other. She knew she wanted him out of his shirt. Her fingers fumbled with the waistcoat buttons, slowly freeing him. She felt bold enough to pull his shirt over his head. Transfixed now as he stood before her, his beautiful torso, firmly muscled and hard. She placed her hand slowly over his heart.  
“I have something I need to tell you.” She looked a little worried and searched his face.  
“There is nothing you need to say.” Sidney tried to reassure her.   
“I must. I want to. When you were ill and I thought it possible you might die, I err, I warmed you.” Charlotte searched for the right words to explain.  
“I know. I felt you.” Sidney gazed into her huge eyes, never wanting to look away.   
“You don’t mind.”  
“Charlotte, you saved my life. I was slipping away. I heard your voice, felt your hand. You brought me back.” His hand pressed hers into his chest. He kissed her sweetly, slowly, as his arms held her.   
“And now Mrs Parker, would you like me to help you out of that dress?” Sidney grinned wickedly making Charlotte feel quite shy, but all the same, keen.  
She turned her back to him and he gently placed kisses down the nape of her neck, hearing her breath catch as his lips moved over her skin. He continued with a line of kisses from her ear to her shoulder. His arms held her strongly which Charlotte was grateful for, her knees no longer functioned to hold her. He removed the pins in her hair, until all the curls fell loose about her shoulders. His fingers didn’t feel like quite his own and he muffed the undoing of her corset strings. His gentle tugging made Charlotte giggle.   
“Be sure to pull quite tight, or it will never release.” As instructed Sidney pulled harder and the corset eased to the floor. Now dressed only in a chemise Charlotte felt a little self conscious. Sidney noticed her discomfort and blew out the candles. The room was dark, save for the glow of the fire. Sidney swept Charlotte off her feet and into his arms. He placed her, not too gently, on their new bed. Before laying beside her, he pulled the curtains around the bed and darkness enveloped them.   
It is here that we leave them, happy in the knowledge they are together, secure and loved.   
Finally.


End file.
